1 year + update

MeerKat1994
on 7/1/18 7:50 pm
RNY on 05/09/17

Hey all! Ive been MIA, because school is crazy. I'm in a full time internship and in 17 credits of classes. It's stressful, but worth it. For those of you *****member a bit of my story, you know I dropped out after getting a 0.0 GPA one semester. Just got word that I got a 4.0 GPA this semester. Fingers crossed I get another 4.0 this summer semester. But Earth Science is kicking my butt.

My weight has stabilized at 140 pounds (from 300). Although I wish I was down a little more, I am amazed with how far I've come. I can run a 5k, do yoga, and am hopefully getting my personal training certificate August 6th! And my favorite food? Red peppers and broccoli. Lol who am I??? SO WILD.

But I want to be vulnerable.

Stress eating has snuck it's way back into my life. Not very often, but still...not cool. I have been binge eating again, and that really scares me. I get super stressed (because school) and emotional (because my internship at a homeless shelter), and then I sort of snap. All of the sudden I'm eating food that makes me sick. I binge, not like before. But enough to make me sick and upset. I come out of my over eating episodes and feel like I've been in a fog. Sometimes I don't even remember that it happened, but I know that it did happen. If that makes sense?

But I will not, will not, will not fall back into old habits.
I've taken the steps in the right direction to ensure that I will not slip down this slope. I visited my doctor. After talking, he decided to refer me to an eating disorders specialist. He got me back on Celexa and he wants to get me placed on Vyvanse as well as regular counseling. Any one have positive experience with vyvanse?

I also need to get back to basics and re-establish rules that I was so good about up until recently.

So. Starting here, I need to get back to writing on the daily menu post. I'm planning on doing an CAMAW starting tomorrow. I need to remember that I am capable of saying no to the binge. I consume food, food does not consume me.

I also want to only eat with other people around. Secret eating can not happen ever again.

I still weigh and measure and track everything I eat, but I want to get below 25 net carbs. Ive been averaging on 50.

Lastly, I want to eat on a schedule again, no grazing. Two meals, three snacks. Breakfast at 11, Lunch at 2, Snack at 4, Dinner at 6, Snack before bed. Boom.

And I lied, one other rule: 8 hours of sleep. Days where I didn't get enough sleep I always feel ravenous and stressed.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to put it out into the universe. I am so much stronger than my addictions and I will not let them rule me. Not today, Satan. See ya tomorrow for the menu!

Partlypollyanna
on 7/2/18 3:48 am
RNY on 02/14/18

You have taken a lot on yourself!! Congratulations on the successes you are having. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for your challenge areas and you have SMART goals around them! Good luck, you've already conquered so much, you will get through this too!

HW: 306 SW: 282 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19) CW:150

Jen

Librarian67
on 7/2/18 4:05 am
RNY on 02/28/17

Thanks for checking in and letting us know how things are going. Stress and lack of sleep really can make eating on plan very difficult. I'm also glad that you are getting some help to get through all of this and address the issues. That is so important in not going back to your old life.

All the best on making changes, but with all that is happening right now in your life, don't be too hard on yourself. Be gentle and try to give yourself a little ME time. I love to swim and walk for my mental sanity, oh yeah and it's good for my body. When I am doing vigorous exercise, my mind is at rest and it helps to adjust the stress in my life.

Take great care!

Janet

HW: 248+, SW (RNY: 2/28/17): 244, GW (10/17): 125; LW: 115; 45# regain (19-20); CW: 135.6; new goal: 135; Plastics: Ext mastopexy, Ext abdominoplasty-5/18/2018; diagnosed w/ gastroparesis 11/20.

Miss Liss
on 7/5/18 12:37 pm

That's great that you came here and put it out there. Acknowledging the problem is a step toward fixing it. It's good that you have been referred to an eating disorder specialist. I had therapy after my RNY, and I truly believe that is why I have been as successful as I have been. I dealt with the issues and have tools to use to combat life issues. I have rules that have now become ingrained and are now just my normal habits. Secret, sneak eating is one of my no-no's as well. I am now over 14 years out from my surgery and still maintaining. Maintenance is hard. Good luck and keep coming here for support.

kcoley
on 7/5/18 2:09 pm
RNY on 08/06/18

Wow, what an amazing post. I'm post RNY until 8/6 but you describe me to a "T" especially the secret eating. PLEASE google Vyvanse-my 46year old daughter is not ADD but given this medication along with Lexapro and it was horrible for her to get off the Vyvanse. Just saying, please be careful with this? Best wishes to you on keeping your promises to yourself????

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