I tend to be hard on myself as well, so I know how that can make you crazy.
As far as motivation, when I find myself straying a bit as far as my eating/snacking or feeling a bit disinterested in making good food choices, I do a couple of things:
- I go back and look at pictures of me from before surgery, and I remember how unhappy I was about how I looked and how self-conscious I could be because of my weight. I have one picture in which I am smiling, but when I look at it closely, I can remember how very uncomfortable I was having my picture taken because of how big I had become. Then I look at myself in the mirror now and pay special attention to how small my shoulders and arms are, how prominent my collarbones are, and how the double chin is gone (other than some lax skin).
- At one point, I wrote up a list of all the things that were difficult to do, or caused me frustration or embarrassment, that were directly attributable to my weight. When I need to boost my motivation, I go back and read through that list and make a mental note of how those things don't apply anymore. The list has minor things, mundane things, and major things: things like not being able to tie my shoes without sitting down and pulling my foot up on the couch/bed; having to use the tips of my feet to drive my one car because I have short legs and had to sit with the seat further back in order to make room for my belly in front of the steering wheel; how winded I got going up just one flight of stairs; how humiliating it was to be at a small taverna in Rome with a group of people and sitting down on one of the lightweight wooden folding chairs they had and having it collapse underneath my weight (we immediately discovered that the seat was partially broken to begin with (and that the waiter was supposed to have taken it into the back) and that it would have collapsed under anyone, but that didn't alleviate my humiliation).
The other thing I do, and that I always encourage my clients to do to eliminate the "I'll start tomorrow" syndrome, is to NOT write off today as a lost cause and promise to start clean tomorrow, but to start IMMEDIATELY. Every single meal or snack time is a chance to start fresh and make better choices. All of those choices add up. One bad meal/snack doesn't "ruin" anything. It is allowing the next one to be a bad choice that starts the pattern and it is the pattern that causes failure.
Get the snack food out of the house and fill the refrigerator and pantry with healthy, protein- based snacks. If it isn't in the house you won't eat it because if you are too tired to work out, you will also be too tired to go out and buy junk food! ;)
Lora