How To Ruin Your Ex-Husband's Life One Day At A Time (for Lisa)
JULY'S TIP OF THE MONTH: the next time your ex is at your house, tell him you are thinking about some home improvements. This will make him feel important and "manly." Then escort him to your master bedroom and ask him which part of the ceiling is most structurally sound. When he asks "why?," tell him you are going to have a stripper pole installed because that is your latest and by far the most fun exercise you've ever done. Of course, act naive and innocent...That should really get him riled up!! 1. By far the most frequently asked question is "WILL I BE OFFERING THE SEX TOYS THAT ARE MENTIONED IN THE BOOK?" My response is "sort of." Many people are afraid to go into a sex store. I do not wish to make this site *****graphic, however, there does seem to be a need to offer these products. If you are interested and have already ordered a book, send me you phone number, and I'll call you and tell you what I have. All Confidential, of course!!!! 2. Do I date or have a "real" boyfriend? Yes. In fact, I am in a committed relationship. He even asked me to marry him. I responded by saying "if you let me wear that ring, I promise not to marry anyone else." I refer to him as my biancee. (boyfriend/fiancee) JUNE'S TIP OF THE MONTH: Sign your ex-husband up for as much junk mail as possible. You can do this for his physical address as well as his email address. MAY'S TIP OF THE MONTH: Consider making a MySpace or Facebook page for your ex-husband where you can use the pictures and information of your choice in describing him!!! LOL!!Edited to add: The Author is from my hometown area. She was at a festival in a wedding dress with a tiara & sash (Sorry I forgot what was on the sash but it had something to do with a divorce). She has been on the Early Show and other national shows.
a friend of mine is going through a situation with her husband and attended the festival where Angela was. She bought the book and I thought of Lisa and all she is going through. I forgot the name until I read an artical about it in the paper today.
I wish I could see where she was on the Today Show promoting her book.
My friend saw this lady at a festival in a Wedding Gown, tiara and sash. I think the sash said " Just Unmarried" or something like that. She thought it was hilarious, expecially since had just talked to a laywer about a divorce.
She bought the book and I can't wait for her to fini**** so I can read it. It is getting good reviews and is going into the gift baskets at the Emmy Awards.
If you want one and can't order it off the web site, (she said it was almost sold out) let me know and I will see if I can find one around here and can send it to you.
She reallty does make some good points in the book plus it will make you laugh. I really like the divorce party ideas.
Here is an exerpt (& link) from a newspaper artical about Angela and her book.
But Ms. Martin, a new divorcee after 11 years of marriage, insists the book is more about healing yourself than hurting your new ex.
“It’s really about coming full circle from the pain of a divorce to create something funny to help deal with that pain,” Martin said. “A lot of it is about forgiveness and how to make yourself whole again.”
With chapters like “Prince (not-so) Charming,” “The Division of Property,” “Spite Diet” and “Post Marital Sex,” Martin addresses many of the situations newly-divorced women face.
“You laugh one minute, blush the next and cry the next minute,” Ernestine Martin, Ms. Martin’s mother, said.
Lisa, hope to brighten your day a little. Thought you might appreciate this:
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????