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| Author | Message |
 Charlotte, NC Member Since: 12/08/10 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:01 pm Last Edit: 2/10/12 9:01 pm Before you pounce on me and get all offended for my question I am just sharing my thoughts and feelings and am just curious if anyone else has similar thoughts like me sometimes. Every now and then after a compliment I get a guilty feeling like I cheated to get where I am. I choose to be honest about my surgery and don't lie and say " yep I just dieted and did lots of exercise". There is just something inside me that has a hard time giving myself credit for my weight loss so far. I mean I know its just a tool and I put alot of work into cooking and eating healthy and eating proper portions and getting all my vitamins, water and protein in but sometimes I just feel guilty of cheating I think this affects me most when I see a real obese person attempting another crash diet or seeing an obese individual working out at the gym with all their might and I know deep inside that without surgical intervention its probably not going to happen for them. I guess I think of it like a weightlifter who uses steroids. A "natural" steroid free body builder just cant compete. In the same way people with full size stomachs and out of control hunger hormones can't compete with most sleeve folk when it comes to weight loss. I guess the real test for us sleevers is not how much or how fast we can lose, but how long we can keep it off. When it is all said and done when we hit goal or get closer to goal our super powers weaken and the challenge of maintenance begins. VSG is a tool that can only take you so far. Permanent weight loss requires dedication and that goes for both the sleeved and unsleeved. I'm just glad I made the choice to have the ball in my court. To tip the scales in my direction, to give me the weight loss advantage ... well you get the point. When I get these thoughts I guess I just need to bonk myself on the head and tell myself to stop the negativity. I need to remember that Im the one that rocked my sleeve and I should give myself the proper credit for that. Fact of the matter is Bariatric Surgery is a miracle as far as I am concerned and I pray for the ability to keep it off and hopefully get to goal in a reasonable amount of time. To all you brave sleevers - I salute you. You took action to fight obesity and win!  |
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 Member Since: 09/03/09 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:21 pm Last Edit: 2/10/12 9:23 pm Ding Ding Ding !!!! You won that round !!! It's really about how much you weight 3-5-7-10 years down the road...... You/we took a big risk....going under the knife....tell the person that was in the hospital for months with a leak that they took the easy way ! But I hear you.... in comparison to a life long battle with obesity.....yes....pretty easy..... we just needed to be corrected.....we weren't dealt the same cards..... I will say....it's just not the surgery....the difference is going to be in the continued education...... I saw a guy the other day at lunch..... 4 chili dogs in front of him.....my first thought was......I used to be able to do that..... only I woulda got them 2 at a time.... than I thought I should tap him on the shoulder and say "Come with me..... you need a sleeve" than I woke up and thought it would a good way to get my arm ripped off and my ass kicked !!!! Never try and take food away from a dog......I woulda got pissed if anyone messed with my food! frisco SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs. VSG Maintenance Group Forum http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/ |
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 VSG (02/16/12) Member Since: 07/21/11[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:27 pm I'm getting sleeved on Thursday 2/16. I've had the thought many many times that "I'm taking the easy way out." Everything I read on here, the books, etc. say 'it's not easy" so it's not an easy way out, and I understand it's not a magic pill...but I can't help but think it anyways. I figure if my 'cheating' gets me healthy, I guess I'm a cheater. I haven't achieved your successes (hopefully will soon), but I'm doubtful that those thoughts will disappear and I'm willing to accept those feelings as part of the package in order to regain my life. Best wishes with staying positive as much as possible. I definately think it's normal to look at such massive weight loss in such a short time as nothing short of a miracle! HW: 336 SW: 316 1-mo: 291 2-mo: 281 3-mo:266 4-mo: 5-mo: 6-mo:  |
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 VSG (02/16/12) Member Since: 10/28/11[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:30 pm I can tell you that I haven't even had the surgery yet (5 more days - woot) and I already feel that way. I can definitely see myself feeling "guilty", as I've already thought about it. HW: 396 SW: 299 CW: 252 GW: 175  FINALLY BROKE THAT GOD-AWFUL STALL!!!!  |
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 TX Member Since: 08/19/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:36 pm I do feel a little guilty when I watch other family members and friends struggle with Jenny Craig and other diet programs, because I know they are temporary solutions to a problem they have battled their whole lives. In that regard, I do have it easy. I'm able to eat a very small amount of food, be satisfied and move on with my day without worrying at all about food. VSG has given me peace of mind and an easy way to diet. That being said, it doesn't stop me from eating ice cream or millkshakes or other terrible-for-you foods. I could very easily do that. I choose not to, because I made a 23,000 dollar investment in this surgery and will not sabotage myself. It is my will power and discipline that keep this tool working for me. Those who lack the ability to refrain from bad choices will not experience the same kind of success. In short, I chose an easier way to manage obesity on the long term. It is not an easy lifestyle, though. I have permanently altered my body in a way that makes me need to tiptoe around what I put into it. I will need to be hyper-vigilant for the rest of my life because of my tiny stomach. |
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 Member Since: 07/22/09 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:37 pm Yeah, cheating in the same way I think someone who uses Chantix or a nicotine patch to quit smoking is cheating... (/sarcasm) No, honestly, I feel like I finally got smart enough and swallowed my pride enough to do something that really works. It took me a long time to overcome the attitude that I should be able to do this "on my own." It is not cheating to choose the path that has proven results, to choose the path that is the most efficient and productive use of my time. If two people carry 100 bricks up a steep hill, and the first person does it by hand, 100 trips up the hill, one brick at a time, and the second person uses a wheelbarrow to get all the bricks up at once - do we criticize the guy with the wheelbarrow for taking the easy way out? When people ask about what the sleeve has been like for me, I tell people that it hasn't made weight loss easy - but it has made it possible. I still have to make 100's of health/food/lifestyle decisions a day - but VSG has helped made my decision making process more sane. 5'9" All weight lost post-op. Goal weight determined by body composition testing.  |
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 Member Since: 08/31/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 7:12 am wish there was a "like" button for this post. Jessica  Surgery Date 9/29/11 Dr. Ian Soriano Temple University Hospital, Philadelphia, PA HW: 287 / Pre-Op: 280 / SW: 263.4 / CW: 180.6 GW: 145  |
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 Member Since: 09/02/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 5:03 pm i agree, love this post |
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 Austin, TX Member Since: 03/12/10 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:42 pm Sometimes, but it's the guilt that gets me too as I watch those close to me struggle. Family, friends, et****rtainly am not rich, but I feel very fortunate that I was able to finangle a way to afford to do this. And then guilty that I cannot help them too. Sigh. Candy from Austin, TX | Website | MyFitnessPal | Runkeeper HW 375 / SW 355 / GW 175 (not sure beyond that!)  (20 pounds lost pre-op) | 5'6"  |
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Member Since: 09/03/09 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 9:46 pm Last Edit: 2/10/12 9:55 pm Well, Here is where it's not cheating. And don't get me wrong......how do think the person (and there are many) who has WLS and doesn't do well feel...... That person probably feels cheated......... Also think this..... not that we need to hold a sign that says "Ask me how to lose weight" Anyone who hears your story and wants to know more...... you can help that person. That's payin back...... (Pay it forward is a DS term I think) frisco SW 338lbs. GW 175lbs. Goal in 11 months. CW 148lbs. WL 190lbs. VSG Maintenance Group Forum http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/VSGM/discussion/ |
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 VSG (03/29/12) Member Since: 01/02/12[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 10:17 pm Honestly, I don't view it as cheating. Making the most of the tools available? Absolutely. To me, "cheating" has the connotation that there is some kind of competition involved, which is something I just don't see among sleeve patients. Sure, people subconsciously compare themselves to others in terms of progress, but there is no official contest with a winner for losing the most in a short time. Take someone who has been sleeved and put them on The Biggest Loser with others who have not been sleeved, and then there would be cheating going on... lol  PS- I'm all about the idea of answering questions. I'm honestly not opposed to telling anyone that I am having surgery... well, anyone other than my students, and my husband's best friend who has about the same maturity level as one of my students. I guess it depends on your personality and your environment.  Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 210 Weight lost by time period: Preop: 9 lbs; Month 1: 18 lbs; Month 2:? Goals: Obese (not "morbid"): 5/8/2012; Onederland: |
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 VSG (01/09/12) Member Since: 10/07/11[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 5:57 am Well said, my thoughts EXACTLY! 5'3" Age 38  HW: 216 Month 1: 20.6 |
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 Member Since: 09/05/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/10/12 11:18 pm I completely understand your comments and thank you for your thought provoking post! I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY in the least! I do not feel either that I'm on the same playing field as my obese friends who want to lose weight without surgical intervention. I have a powerful tool that really gives me an advantage in the WL game over those friends of mine. Yes, losing weight and staying on program seems much easier now with my sleeve. I think that's for two reasons: One, the surgery itself and two (perhaps an even bigger reason), the fact that I made the commitment to have WLS and finally get my obesity under control. I am committed in a way I've never been before. My commitment is strong. I look at it this way: I tried every sensible diet that came down the pike. I lost weight on all of them - slowly, steadily - and usually by the time it took me to lose 30 pounds I couldn't sustain the effort any more. The last time I lost weight I did manage to lose about 60. We all know the story of regain that followed. I chose to have WLS to get this advantage. I worked my ass off and jumped through hoops to get the surgery. Fortunate, lucky, happy, motivated - that's what I feel.  Kairk, HW - 278, CW - 179 GW 166     (Month/WL) Pre-op: 23, Month 1: 23, Month 2:12.5, Month 3: 9.5, Month 4: 8Month 5: 9 |
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 CA Member Since: 04/22/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 12:28 am The only thing I feel cheated out of is wasting 45 years of my life. I think I work even harder to lose weight with my sleeve then before. For some reason I am not your typical person that you read about on the boards who loses 20 lbs a month of more. I work my ass off for every single pound I lose and have to work even harder to keep it off. Even I eat a tiny bit of carbs I stall or gain weight. The sleeve has made it possible to stay on my diet/healthy eating regimen. When others I have known had WLS before I was even remotely interested in it, I felt as if they were cheating in a sense. I always felt as if I needed to do it on my own. Now that I have had surgery and am working my butt off to lose weight my thoughts have changed. I feel I did it at the right time in my life to where I take it seriously and don't feel as if it is cheating in any way shape or form. Leslie Nunes     |
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 CA VSG (01/12/12) Member Since: 02/07/11[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 2:21 am I don't feel guilty at all. I did what I need to do for me. I saw a valuable tool that has a great track record and decided that is what I needed. I have SEVERAL close friends and family members that have lost over 100 lbs and kept it off for years with no surgical intervention. I know the percentage is not that great.....but for many people it is possible. I just got tired of bashing my head against the wall trying to do it for myself. |
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 Stevens Point, WI VSG (01/26/12) Member Since: 04/11/11[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 2:52 am I was feeling that way too but when I brought it up to my therapist he reminded me that 1.) I am not actually taking anything away from the people I see that I wish I could tell about the surgery but dont cus Im a complete stranger and do not like getting beat to a pulp. But I would be taking something away from the people that mean so much to me if I stayed unhealthy and died at an early age from obesity related disease. He reminded me that it is unfair to take away from my family and friends by remaining unhealthy. And he also reminded me that this is going to be some of the hardest work I have ever done because I have to completely rearrange the way I eat, when I eat, what I eat and how I eat. I have to add exercise into my life if I want to reach and remain at my goal. I am also going to have to battle the stereotype that I took the easy way out from other people and I need to give myself a break on that because I will be getting enough judgement from people who don't understand and maybe don't want to understand just what all I have to do to get and stay healthy. And like Frisco said... we just needed a correction to help our bodies get as healthy as they can be. You can't drive a car when the transmission is broken and basically our transmissions are broken and needed to be fixed. Can't feel guilty about fixing your car when you need to right? I just keep focused on that analogy and it helps ease the guilt. Because really I would feel even worse guilt if I didn't take full advantage of this tool and use it to keep myself around for my family and loved ones. Ghandi said "noone can harm me without my permission" I think of it like this "noone can make me feel guilty without my permission" and quite frankly I am not even going to give myself permission to feel guilty for making good use of a wonderful tool. (easier said than done a lot of days but I keep working on it) |
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 Member Since: 02/27/10 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 4:02 am I never felt like I was cheating...to me it was the only sensible solution to being successful. Like others have said, no one thinks twice if someone takes prescription drugs to achieve their goals (like for BP, diabetes, quitting smoking). So why not surgery for weight loss? It's just a different method of treatment for a disease. I think GETTING THERE is way more important than HOW we get there. Life or death for some of us. I'm glad that it's relatively easy...it creates a positive feeling inside of me that I will be able to maintain a lower weight and potentially avoid the conditions that caused my siblings to die young. |
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 Member Since: 11/27/10 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 4:03 am I'm not guilty at all.. And when I get compliments I am sure to tell people what I did to get where I am now... The surgery was the tool that I needed and that is what we have to remember.. We got the surgery for a reason, we needed help and in my case I literally had no energy and my back wasn't allowing me to do what I needed to help myself.. I'm so proud of all the people I see on these post that took the "challenge" and are sticking with it.. Weight loss surgery is not easy.. It takes strong minded individuals to take this head on and succeed.. Good Luck to everyone! ! ! I have faith that you all will reach your goals.   |
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 Member Since: 09/23/08 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 5:03 am I don't feel like I cheated or have any guilt for choosing weight loss surgery. EVERY DAY, EVERY MEAL, I still have to choose the "best" foods to put in my body. I still have to take my vitamins, and have regular follow ups with my surgeon. I can still suck down a 2000 calorie milkshake, or gnaw down on a 500 calorie bag of cheesy poofs without issue and the only consequence is that my ass will get bigger. I kicked ass and took names during my losing stage, figured out maintenance, and battle my own food issues. Yep, the sleeve makes those battles a hell of a lot easier, but at the end of the day, it all falls on me and what I choose to put in my mouth. |
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 Laurel, MD Member Since: 02/13/11 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 2/11/12 5:30 am Honestly I have never felt like I cheated. I always feel like I took the smart way out. After watching so many family members struggle all their lives and yo-yo up and down, I knew that my chances of doing it on my own, and then the hard part - keeping it off, was pretty unlikely. I mean, look at Oprah. She has trainers and chefs to always keep her on track and still has struggled back and forth with her weight... So no, not cheated. I found a way that I could lose the weight in a fairly rapid way but still maintain my health (if not all of my hair for awhile) and then have an amazing shot of keeping that weight off. I don't even buy that it's the easy way out. All those stupid hoops that we all had to jump through - the psych, the 4 mo supervised diet (longer for many), the endless testing (sleep apnea, cardio, etc, etc, etc). It wasn't easy to get to the surgery, and then learning to chew chew chew, eat more slowly, sip sip sip, eat protein first... that wasn't easy either - not hard, but took lots of thought and practice. We didn't take any easy way, and we didn't cheat. We just got smart and made major life long changes to our lives. We're frickin geniuses! Now you're right - you are being to negative and hard on yourself. Start patting yourself on the back cause you are AWESOME!!!! |
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