- HEALTH TRACKER
Quite honestly, I now realize I was not the easy going flexible gal I used to think I was and act like I was.
I *feel* more anxiety now than I did presurgery because for me, like for you, was one of my coping mechanisms.
One thing that was a challenge, and still is is coming to the realization that trying to stifle or stop anxiety *or insert other emotions* is MUCH more destructive than actually just having them. Sometimes if I can, I go cry in the shower, or throw my head back and laugh hugely like a mad scientist, sometimes I can turn on some music to distract myself.
But often, I just have to CONSISTENTLY remind me, how it is this moment is not how its ALWAYS going to be. I CAN just be gentle (with me and the folks around me). Feeling *insert feeling* is not going to kill me, but my coping mechanisms sure were.
I exercised, but its definitely not a transfer addiction.
Now, that being said - because I DO exercise, I notice when I have to stop for whatever reason, that I have more anxiety, that I feel clingy, unsure, like I want more affirmation from OUTSIDE me, where when I am consistent in my exercise (and I do not exercise because "you lose weight" I do it because its GOOD FOR ME) then I do feel less anxiety *or other things.* I inhabit my body differently, I do not want so much outside input because I am okay with me and my decisions or whatever. For me, Zumba has been really helpful because its just fun, like dancing with my girlfriends. I have been to some NOT fun Zumba classes, but I found some that I really do just love, and it helps my attitude LOADS.
Its a challenge girlie, but for me the only way OUT is through. Something that was VERY helpful was saying to my husband
OH WOW, I AM CRAWLING OUT OF MY SKIN WITH GRUMPINESS!! So he could get that it was not about US, I was just having a funk, and it was not going to be like this forever, but honey, it WAS LIKE THIS NOW!!
Anyway, blahblhablah :} all of that to say, for me even 3 years out I realize its still something I get to learn to deal with creatively, especially coming up on the 'mature woman hormone stew" :}