I have a bridal/formal shop. Most dresses are sleeveless and unfortunately the ones with sleeves built in are kinda like old lady dresses most of the time. But there are a few bridesmaid dress companies that make really cute boleros and jackets that don't take away from your dress. That way you could get one of those in a complimentary color to go with any dress you choose from anywhere. The company's boleros I like most are by Andrew Adela. Unfortunately they don't post pictures on-line, because they don't want to be copied (andmost reputable bridal companies won't condone on-line sales). But you can search for stores carrying them on their website or calling them. Mori Lee also has a couple of simple jackets.
You could also use a wrap or shawl as a bolero by putting it on over your arms and shoulders and then tying it behind your back. If there is not enough to tie, use a brooch instead. It looks and works like bolero, that way you don't have to wrestle with it all night.
In the end, don't let your self conciosness about your arms keep you from a great dress. You've lost 97lbs! You've earned those "bat wings". ;)