Loose skin rant and take me for what I am, buster :)
I am soooo close to my first goal. Two more pounds to go! I've already set my next goal for about another 10-12 pounds lower. The first goal gets me into the "normal" BMI range. My silly goal is to get to 131.5 so I can tell myself I am half the woman I used to be, haha (I started at 263 pounds). Vainly, I want to get into my 120s, since I blew past them on the way up, haha. ;)
Anyway...boy, do I have a lot of loose skin troubles. Eep! I am a hottie-patottie with my clothes on, but, nekked? Sign a Release of Liability waiver before checking me out! I cannot be responsible for damages caused to your eyes or heart. Bah!!
My tummy and breasts are baaaaaaadd. My upper thighs and upper arms are not good. Under my chin is a premature old-lady turkey wattle. I'm planning plastic surgery: I'll do a tummy tuck and boob job - I have my first consult booked but I don't know cost. If it's $30K, I'm outta luck, sista!
I've been seeing a great guy for about three months. Crazy about him. However, he is so bugged by my loose skin. More than that, he's pretty bugged by the fact I was ever super-morbidly-obese to begin with. (I'm 5'3" and was 263 pre-op) I have been indulgent with him: I hate the loose skin, too. It's the elephant in the room, so to speak, haha. It's not like he says mean things or comments about it endlessly, but after only seeing each other a few months, I'd say for sure he has COMMENTED ENOUGH. What the heck am I supposed to do about it? I'm proud of myself for the weight loss, I'm working a plan to address the loose skin. There's not much else I can do. I think of it as battle scars. :)
I adore him - but I'm about to DTMFA (dump this mother'f'er already). I am feeling self-conscious and not super-sexy like I want to feel. I've taken to wearing long sleeves all the time so he doesn't have to see my lunch lady arms. (This is sort of a public service, anyway, haha. Or at least a "how to dress to maximize your appeal" sort of thing.)
I'm pissed here, so I'm selling him short in terms of all the many wonderful ways he is truly an awesome man, but this issue? Driving me insane. Who wants to hate getting naked with the person you most want to be naked with???
Anyway...boy, do I have a lot of loose skin troubles. Eep! I am a hottie-patottie with my clothes on, but, nekked? Sign a Release of Liability waiver before checking me out! I cannot be responsible for damages caused to your eyes or heart. Bah!!
My tummy and breasts are baaaaaaadd. My upper thighs and upper arms are not good. Under my chin is a premature old-lady turkey wattle. I'm planning plastic surgery: I'll do a tummy tuck and boob job - I have my first consult booked but I don't know cost. If it's $30K, I'm outta luck, sista!
I've been seeing a great guy for about three months. Crazy about him. However, he is so bugged by my loose skin. More than that, he's pretty bugged by the fact I was ever super-morbidly-obese to begin with. (I'm 5'3" and was 263 pre-op) I have been indulgent with him: I hate the loose skin, too. It's the elephant in the room, so to speak, haha. It's not like he says mean things or comments about it endlessly, but after only seeing each other a few months, I'd say for sure he has COMMENTED ENOUGH. What the heck am I supposed to do about it? I'm proud of myself for the weight loss, I'm working a plan to address the loose skin. There's not much else I can do. I think of it as battle scars. :)
I adore him - but I'm about to DTMFA (dump this mother'f'er already). I am feeling self-conscious and not super-sexy like I want to feel. I've taken to wearing long sleeves all the time so he doesn't have to see my lunch lady arms. (This is sort of a public service, anyway, haha. Or at least a "how to dress to maximize your appeal" sort of thing.)
I'm pissed here, so I'm selling him short in terms of all the many wonderful ways he is truly an awesome man, but this issue? Driving me insane. Who wants to hate getting naked with the person you most want to be naked with???
Julie, 5' 3", age 42. Starting weight: 263, Surgery weight: 255
Blogging at www.freejulie.blogspot.com
Blogging at www.freejulie.blogspot.com
I hear you Julie! I am so grateful for all of the rewards and benefits from this surgery that I accept the loose skin. However, I would be lying through my teeth if I said it doesn't bother me. I try to find elbow length or 3/4 sleeved tops to hide my hanging, wrinkly upper arms. I'm in a dance recital this weekend, and paid over $50 (with shipping) for a shear body suit to wear under my sleeveless costume so my arms won't be flapping around while I dance. Not sure if I'll ever be able to afford plastic surgery, but if a long lost relative leaves me money, I know what I'll be spending it on!
Sorry about the issue with your guy. I think for some it's easier when you've been with the person prior to the weight loss, as they already knew you. It sounds like he's a good guy, though, so hopefully you'll be able to work through this issue. Good luck and awesome job with the weight loss! Mary
Sorry about the issue with your guy. I think for some it's easier when you've been with the person prior to the weight loss, as they already knew you. It sounds like he's a good guy, though, so hopefully you'll be able to work through this issue. Good luck and awesome job with the weight loss! Mary
HW (recorded) 323 Start of Journey 298.9 SW 263.6 CW 177.8 GW 180
Oh boy!
I'd tell him once (or one more time!) and lay it out on the line, all his great points.. save this one major sensitive spot- if he's a really good catch- he'll let that sink in and do a little internal changing. If he's really a good catch- I'd give it a shot, if he's really not so much- then the next time a comment comes out or a side-eye look.. I'd tell him goodbye!
Seriously.. Skin, scars from skin removal, wrinkles.. any way we go we can't win this thing over the long-haul! It's either a package deal or nothing, right?
My DH met me when I was about 180 (down from 308).. I had skin.. I lost down to 155.. more skin.. It bugged the heck out of me, him- nah, he was just so happy to be rolling around with someone that loved him! Then I got fat again, did it bug him- I'm positive, did he comment? Never. I don't know what planet he's from, but he's not the norm for sure.. Especially for a guy who was in his 20's when we started dating.
Now the skin is back, no comments.. and I'm more or less zen with it this time myself- I still complain, minorly, but he reassures me and reminds me that if I really want it gone- when we have the $$ I can do it.. I just don't want to spend it (rather get a nicer house!) or go through surgery again.. save for the arms, but I still go sleeveless if it's hot! I just try not to flap too much! Lol! I have nice shoulders..
I'd tell him once (or one more time!) and lay it out on the line, all his great points.. save this one major sensitive spot- if he's a really good catch- he'll let that sink in and do a little internal changing. If he's really a good catch- I'd give it a shot, if he's really not so much- then the next time a comment comes out or a side-eye look.. I'd tell him goodbye!
Seriously.. Skin, scars from skin removal, wrinkles.. any way we go we can't win this thing over the long-haul! It's either a package deal or nothing, right?
My DH met me when I was about 180 (down from 308).. I had skin.. I lost down to 155.. more skin.. It bugged the heck out of me, him- nah, he was just so happy to be rolling around with someone that loved him! Then I got fat again, did it bug him- I'm positive, did he comment? Never. I don't know what planet he's from, but he's not the norm for sure.. Especially for a guy who was in his 20's when we started dating.
Now the skin is back, no comments.. and I'm more or less zen with it this time myself- I still complain, minorly, but he reassures me and reminds me that if I really want it gone- when we have the $$ I can do it.. I just don't want to spend it (rather get a nicer house!) or go through surgery again.. save for the arms, but I still go sleeveless if it's hot! I just try not to flap too much! Lol! I have nice shoulders..
My ex was a complete asshole but the one thing he NEVER did was comment when I lost 60 pounds or gained back the 60 and an additional 100! I know he'd never ever say **** about loose skin if I was still with him. I am so insecure about myself but everyone I've been with (except 1 person) has always made me feel sexy or at least not made me feel UNsexy. To me, part of this process of losing weight is supposed to make us feel beautiful... why be counter productive and have someone in your life who makes you feel ugly when you are already self conscious?? FUCK THAT!!! I want to meet someone who plays hide and seek in my loose skin dammit!
HW 380.8+ SW- 371.4 CW- 234.4 GW- 200 
Ditto the above poster!!!! My hubby and I, have been through this too! I would lose 100lbs ...gain 150lb Vicious cycle. And after having a baby that ballooned me up to 376! baby I got tons of skin, and my stretch marks have stretch marks. COME ON! You are a warrior, you set out to change your very existence and you did that. You need medals, no unwanted snarky comments about loose skin, and the past. If he cannot love you for who you are now, then he is a pretty shallow person. I guess you need to evaluate if that is alright with you. It sounds like it is not alright, and if that is the case. GIRL DON'T YOU SETTLE! Move the heck on, and like above PP said.. find someone to play hide and seek with in your skin!
Before I met my awesomesauce hubby, I was just out of college and completely on my own. I really wasn't even dating, but I wanted to. My lovely Mom told me to start making some decisions about what I wanted in my life. I'd had enough so-so relationship and crappy relationships that I decided I'd rather be alone than in an unhappy relationship.
Instead of a certain person she told me concentrate on finding certain qualities I wanted in my life. So I made a list. Nothing happened. She said, now you have to emulate the qualities on that list. 3 months later I met my hubby.
Sounds to me like he's just expressing what you think about yourself and emulate what you want in your life. IMO, you need to set some rules on what you are going to think about yourself and what you are going to ALLOW other people to feel about you.
Start loving yourself where you are now. If he doesn't follow your lead - kick his ass to the curb.
Instead of a certain person she told me concentrate on finding certain qualities I wanted in my life. So I made a list. Nothing happened. She said, now you have to emulate the qualities on that list. 3 months later I met my hubby.
Sounds to me like he's just expressing what you think about yourself and emulate what you want in your life. IMO, you need to set some rules on what you are going to think about yourself and what you are going to ALLOW other people to feel about you.
Start loving yourself where you are now. If he doesn't follow your lead - kick his ass to the curb.
VSG 10/18/11 If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.-Dolly Parton
On May 18, 2012 at 8:31 AM Pacific Time, slimpickins5280 wrote:
Before I met my awesomesauce hubby, I was just out of college and completely on my own. I really wasn't even dating, but I wanted to. My lovely Mom told me to start making some decisions about what I wanted in my life. I'd had enough so-so relationship and crappy relationships that I decided I'd rather be alone than in an unhappy relationship.Instead of a certain person she told me concentrate on finding certain qualities I wanted in my life. So I made a list. Nothing happened. She said, now you have to emulate the qualities on that list. 3 months later I met my hubby.
Sounds to me like he's just expressing what you think about yourself and emulate what you want in your life. IMO, you need to set some rules on what you are going to think about yourself and what you are going to ALLOW other people to feel about you.
Start loving yourself where you are now. If he doesn't follow your lead - kick his ass to the curb.
Yes she was very wise. I miss her so much.
She used to say that people think about us the was we allow them to think about us. Whatever labels we stick on ourselves other people will agree with us. She also used to say to be careful with saying "I am". She used to make me replace "I am" with "God is". Talk about being more careful with what you say/think about yourself - that'll make you more careful.
She used to say that people think about us the was we allow them to think about us. Whatever labels we stick on ourselves other people will agree with us. She also used to say to be careful with saying "I am". She used to make me replace "I am" with "God is". Talk about being more careful with what you say/think about yourself - that'll make you more careful.
VSG 10/18/11 If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.-Dolly Parton
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