Update (long)

mollz007
on 4/18/14 9:20 am
VSG on 02/20/14

 The past few weeks have been pretty busy, and this past week was rough. There is a lot of family stuff going on right now. My grandma was in the hospital for a few days because she fell in her room and hit her head. Her head was fine, but then doctors discovered that she had an infection, but they didn’t know what kind of infection. Well, a few days ago we found out that her pacemaker that she had put in a few years ago is infected, and the only way to get rid of that would be to operate and remove the pacemaker, and doctors don’t want to do that because they don’t think she will survive it. So now she has moved to hospice care, and now all there is left to do is keep her comfortable because she will probably not get any better.

Anyway, there is that, and other family stuff going on. My sister has not been talking to anyone in the family and it has been very hard on all of us, but I think it has been the hardest in me. I do not have a lot of friends, so I have always tried to have a relationship with my sister, but she has never really been interested. My problem is that I feel the need to hold on to relationships that clearly aren't worth the pain. It's a pattern with me, I hold on to every dying friendship because I think I can save it. And I've caused myself a lot of pain because of it. My sister and I were very close when we were little, but once high school started she began to drift away (my sister is 23, two years younger than me) It is clear now more than ever that she wants nothing to do with me or my parents, at least at the moment. And the thing that makes me furious is that she knows our grandma is sick and seems to not care. She has not once contacted my dad to see how is is doing (it is my dad's mom, my mom's mom died two years ago) I have always been a daddy's girl, and I hate to see him in so much pain.

School is also really stressful, with all that’s been going on this semester, school has been the last thing on my mind. The good thing is that classes are over soon, the bad thing is that I still have a sh*t ton of work to do. I don’t even care what my grades are anymore, I just want to get it done. I was going to take a class this summer but honestly I don’t think that I can handle it. Part of me really wants to just give up and take some time off school, but I also know that probably isn’t the best idea. So, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Oh yeah, and my advisor told me I need to quit my job. I was supposed to take this class next semester that requires 180 semester hours of observation, or 11 hours a week. Some school districts will just let you do your observations while working as a para, but apparently my district is the only one that won’t. So my advisor told me my best bet is to find a new job. Wow, how helpful, like it’s so easy to get a job. So I am trying to work something out where I can come in a few hours late a few days a weeks so I can do observations. If I can’t do that, I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to leave my job, it seems like that is the only thing going right in my life right now.

So yeah, to say I have a lot going on is an understatement. And as you can imagine, this has been affecting my diet. I was so focused in the beginning and always on plan, but I am starting to feel myself slip. I am scared of going back to old habits. It’s just hard to care anymore, which worries me for more than one reason. Besides the eating habits, this is a way that I felt a few years ago when I was very depressed. I have been doing very well lately and the feelings I have been having are ones that I am very familiar with, and I do not want to go down that road again. I have worked too hard for my mental and physical health to let it all slip away now! I will not let this ruin all the hard work I have done, especially the drama with my bratty sister. She is not worth it.

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Kelly Jean
on 4/18/14 10:16 am
VSG on 04/08/14

The pay few weeks have been hard.... but you have made it and you will continue.... your grandma and your patents would want that for you right..... As for your bratty little sister this to shall pass in time...she will see her wrong ways and open her eyes and heart... In the mean time you should possibly seek some help...someone to talk with.... you went though so much you went under the knife ... don't let your self or anyone let you forget this journey your on ...In the end everything will just be a blip on the radar and it will be smooth sailing......    I know I'm new here but if you ever just want to talk or a shoulder mines here....

Message me anytime. ...best of Luck and don't forget !!!! This to shall pass!!!!

  

mollz007
on 4/18/14 12:16 pm
VSG on 02/20/14

Thanks for your kind response. I am in therapy but I haven't been in awhile so I'll be sure to make an appointmment.

check out my blog!

       



DeeNY52
on 4/18/14 10:22 am

Hi Mollz- you have lost 49 pounds, that's great!  Congratulations.  OK, next part is me being a mom and giving you advice.  Hope you don't mind!

I'm sorry about your grandma, it's hard to see loved ones fade.  If you have time for her and our dad, that's wonderful, be there for him and be with her when you can.  You'll be glad in the future that you were there when they needed you.  Accept that loss is hard, but that you will get through it and still have cherished memories.

Sorry, too, about your sister.  Sometimes you have to just step away from toxic people.  You cannot make her behave the way you want, so stop trying, especially since you have so many other stressors in your life.  Step back from her.  In the future you may be able to establish a good relationship, but it's not happening now.  Let her go for now.

For your end of semester classes spend the most time on the class you have the best chance of raising the grade in.  If you have a class you know you are not going to get a better grade, do what you have to in order to maintain that grade, but spend time on the grade you can improve.  Talk to your professors and tell them you are facing stress in your family and with your health. No one will give you an A for that, but if you let them know you are trying your best they may take it into consideration.  

Sounds like a summer class may not be a good idea.  Can you wait to register for it until after your semester is over and your family situation is clearer?  If so, wait.  If things are still difficult don't take the class, give yourself some "me time" this summer.

Good luck with the job and getting them to be flexible- write down a list of all the things you do now, and all the ways you can continue to do your job with the flexibility built in for your observation hours.  If you go to the boss with a reminder of how valuable you are, and what you will do to minimize any adjustments, he/she will be more likely to give yo the flexibility you need.  Fingers crossed.

Most important- take care of yourself.  Right now focus on not gaining and getting in the protein and water. Try to get in some kind of exercise as well, but while your are waiting for grandma's situation to stabilize and for the semester to be over just be calm about the weight.  Don't let yourself think that eating junk will make you feel better, it won't - you'll just add guilt to your already stressed mind.  But focus on family, school, protein and water.  

I hope summer will be a time for less stress and a firm commitment to eating right and exercising.  You are young, smart, caring and hard working.  Be patient and good to yourself and it will happen. 

Remember we on the OH forum are here for you and we have all struggled, and are struggling.  Hugs to you.

Dee

            
weese
on 4/18/14 9:21 pm
VSG on 02/26/14

Molly, I agree with everything Dee said. I too have a difficult sister. She is ten years older and has always been jealous of me. Ten years ago I realized that I spent way too much time worrying about why she didn't like me. I also was tired of her drug use, looser friends multiple husbands and yada yada yada...i just quit caring. I don't know how other than realizing that she likes to call, dump her problems on family and then she was fine and back to her life style while we were left worrying. I guess my point is that you can't choose your siblings but you can choose your interaction with them. I was 40 when I reached that understanding. I wish I had when I was much younger. Take the summer to focus on you then in the fall get focused on school. Don't let anyone take that away from you. I am rooting for you!!

     Lisa

Surgery 2/26/14 with Dr. Stephen Marshall in Peoria, Il

    

happyteacher
on 4/18/14 9:35 pm

Finish your classes and maintain your grades.  Period. I am not trying to sound harsh, but your education is for you and it should be a priority.  Go to your therapist appointments.  Do not make excuses.  Life happens and sometimes events happen to us that we would rather not deal with, but in the end if you let it derail you it is only you that will suffer from it.  Figure out what you need to be successful and go after it.  

Surgeon: Chengelis  Surgery on 12/19/2011  A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!

1Mo: -21  2Mo: -16  3Mo: -12  4MO - 13  5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6  Goal in 8 months 4 days!!   6' 2''  EWL 103%  Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5   150+ pounds lost  

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