Two months down and the rest of my life ahead!

Today is the two month mark since my surgery.  So far it has been an interesting and amazing journey.  I am down over 50lbs since starting my two week pre-op diet.  I have moment where I am elated at the weight loss so far...then moments of disappointment that it isn't going faster.  I keep reminding myself about the statements some of the vets make...this is a marathon and not a race. This is so true, but it can be difficult at times when the scale just doesn't drop as quick as you would like ideally.

I feel like I am learning a lot about myself and creating my new relationship with food.  In the past I was always a perfectionist when it came to trying to diet. Then when I would falter, it resulted in simply throwing in the towel. I had a very black/white mentality about dieting.  While I have read some very successful vets on here talk about things like "100% on plan 100% of the time", I've come to the realization that I can live life like that and not make myself crazy and/or fail or feel like a failure.  More power to them, but I need to have a more flexible approach, for the first time ever. I am not on a diet, I am embarking on a new lifestyle and creating a new relationship with food that will last a lifetime.  And it is working!  I don't want to feel deprived, which would then make me worry about and crave certain foods  I don't want to give food that power.  Have I had some "off plan" things?  You bet. A little tiny bit, a fraction of what I would have consumed before.  Some cupcake for my son's birthday, ice cream cone several times and even a piece of bread...gasp. But I have had a little bit and walked away happy and satisfied.  Certainly this effects my ability to lose quicker. That's okay with me ultimately, because this is indeed a marathon. 

I'm learning to listen to my body and read my own signals better. This has been enlightening.  I now know, after a vacation last week to the coast and two (yup, two**** cream cones during the week, that ice cream 1)gives me a headache and 2)it makes me almost instantly deathly tired.  I have no idea if this is how it effected me before, but it clearly does now...and I don't really figure I need to experience that again. Bye bye ice cream.  I have always had cravings for protein, but now I do even more. It is wonderful to recognize this craving for something healthy and learn which proteins satisfy it.  I like craving a steak rather than a cookie!

Some further random ramblings...I am trying hard to not allow food and eating to dominate my thoughts. It can be consuming in the beginning figuring out what can be eaten and how much with my new tummy. Even with that being the case, I am working to make food an enjoyable necessity, not an obsession.  I am trying to figure out why I seem to get hungry fairly soon after some meals and not others, when both include dense protein.  My doctor says it is because my tummy is still swollen and when it holds a little more in the next month or so, this will get better. I'm not sure I buy that theory.  I think it may be related to if I drank immediately before eating (which my plan says is fine) and the type of dense protein.  I don't know yet.  Any thoughts on this are appreciated.  AND, what the heck?!?!  I am HOT and SWEATY so easy!  I can shower and get dressed in the morning, go make my son's breakfast and feed the dogs and be dripping sweat by the time I finish!  Anyone else experience this?  I used to always be cold. I read people taking about always being cold post op. Not happening.  I've sweat more in the last two months than in my whole life!  Very weird. 

Throughout all these changes and figuring if things out, I've had some wonderful NSV.  I'm wearing clothes I haven't fit into in several years.  I actually could reach to paint my toenails last week! It is easier to shave my legs!  Yes, like so many have said before me...wiping my bum isn't a gymnastic move any longer (I might add [TMI] tampons aren't either)!  I'm not out of breathe going up and down the stairs at home.  I can trek across the parking lot (up hill) at work and not be huffing for breathe when I get to my car!  I can sit comfortably in the chairs at work now!  I loaded the car for our vacation last week(and unloaded), carrying everything up and down stairs at my house and didn't feel like I was going to drop from exhaustion like I normally would.  I spent hours playing on the beach and building sand castles without foot, leg, back pain.  Best, my little boy looks at me and says "you are getting skinny mom, you are going to float away!"  LOL.  Imagine that, my weight doesn't even start with a 2 yet, but he thinks I might float away. Too sweet.  My little cheerleader. 

I am finding my path. Making this my journey. I will succeed, I know I will.  Everyone's journey is their own and I wish everyone the best in finding their path to success. 

Thanks for indulging me in this disorganized brain dump post. ;-)  Any thoughts or tips from your journey are welcome. 

Sounds like you are doing amazing.  This is a brand new life style and it will take a little time to work out all the kinks.  Just keep enjoying all the little things...especially your little cheerleader.  I have a 13 year old and he is my biggest cheerleader.  Congratulations.

Awe, I love that comment from your little boy! That made me smile!

I can relate a lot to what you are saying about food in the earlier part of your post. While I haven't had my surgery yet, it is a lot of what I hope I will be able to achieve after surgery. I too would falter from a diet and quit but I know that the sleeve is more of a lifestyle change that helps you re-learn your body and what it needs so you can find success, even with a small ice cream cone on vacation or a cupcake on special occasions. It isn't possible to gorge on those things anymore, which means that I will have to  force myself to find a new habit, a healthy one, to go to when I would have normally reached for the fridge.

Congratulations on your weight loss, and more importantly, what sounds like a great attitude and new relationship with food!

Wow 2 months already!!! Time Flies  when your having fun!!! Your doing fantastic keep up the great work !!! Seeing my toes again and shaving easily where major wows for me also!! All these NSV ' S are amazing !!! Congratulations on your fantastic success far!!! :-) 

♡ Kelly

You are doing an awesome job working your sleeve and I'm happy to read about all your NSVs and the sweet comments of your 2-year old :-)  

I would tell you that this journey can't even be called a marathon...because a marathon ends, eventually.  This journey never ends for us, ever.  Every day for the rest of your life you have to get up, make the best choices that you can that day and go to bed knowing you did your best.  And then you get up and do it again the next day.  I don't say that to make it seem depressing because it's not!  It's what "normal" people do and it's nice to participate in the normal world again!  

As for the tiredness after ice cream - most likely it's because your blood sugar is either shooting up incredibly high or it's shooting up high and then crashing.   If you have a glucometer you should try testing yourself at 30, 60 and 90 minutes after eating something like this just to see where you're at.  It was a real eye-opener for me (after getting off all diabetes meds) to find out I could eat myself to a blood sugar of over 200 by putting the wrong thing in my mouth - ugh!  

Enjoy the sweating - your body metabolism is adjusting and going into high-burn mode.  That's a good thing!  It's helping to flush the fat and toxins out of your cells.  You go girl! 

Thank you for sharing your motivational post.  Sounds like you have, and continue to learn, how to live this new life and what your body needs. I especially like your goal to "make food an enjoyable necessity, not an obsession." Yes, we have to eat, there will be celebrations and outings, and we can (and you have) continued to make good choices vs. worrying about never eating some food again.

While I'm still pre-op, I've learned so much from those that have gone before and who are open to sharing their thoughts.  Makes this journey seem a little more friendly, and definitely do-able.

Best wishes, 

Great for you! Sounds like you have a sensible approach and are learning new things all the time (as am I!) And I hear you on the wiping, lol! People who have never struggled with obesity just don't understand how it impacts even the most basic human functions. Congratulations on your journey and for raising such a sweet kid 

It sounds like you're doing really great work to sort out all the mental stuff.  That's so important!