Trying to Decide Whether VGS is for me

Bbinder2002
on 11/24/14 12:32 am

I've started the process of being approved for VGS.  I've never really been the one to say that it was for me.  I always thought that I need to just stick to a diet but that is easier said than done as we all know.  I'm a 30 year old male, married with 2 young kids.  I weight 283 pounds at my initial visit with the doctor.  I have MS and high blood pressure.  My wife is not happy that I am looking into this surgery.  Honestly no one is supportive so far.  Any advice on my decision making with this?  I know it is not going to be easy.  Also can you maybe name the top 5 things that you have to deal with that you didn't learn or know with this surgery prior to having it?

SandyB_in_CA
on 11/24/14 1:00 am
VSG on 10/20/14

I am only 5weeks post op. My process was a long one, 9 months or more. At first my kids (all grown) were not supportive. By the end and now post op they are all great about supporting me. I have a 6y/o granddaughter that I want to play with, and I hope more to come at some point. I want to be able to enjoy doing things with my kids. These are the reasons I opted for surgery. I knew I needed help and this seemed like the help I needed. What I think you need to remember is that you need to be comfortable with why you are choosing VGS. Seek help from your doctor to provide education to your loved ones in hopes that they will support you in your decision.

Good Luck

    

Bbinder2002
on 11/24/14 1:10 am

Thanks for your comments.  So as well all know the problem for some of us dieting is that we fall of the wagon and than we starting consuming large portions again.  I would guess one of the things with the surgery is that to help you in those times at least you could stuff your face with food?

Bundlina
on 11/24/14 1:17 am

Coming to the decision to have surgery was a difficult one for me.  I debated it in my head the whole time I was scheduling my pre-op appointments because I also didn't have support.  What made the decision for me was that I tried hard to lose weight on my own before surgery and 3 times gave in and binged or out-and-out cheated on my pre-op diet.  Not cheated a little, but really went at the food.  At the point I finally said to myself "this is why you need the surgery, because you just can't do it on your own."  I had my surgery on 10/9 and have lost 32 pounds since then and haven't "cheated" once.  Haven't even been tempted.  The cravings go.  The temptation goes (I've been through two cake/candy/soda filled birthdays since then).  I work hard every day to meet my nutrition goals and reshape my mind to health.  Yes, it is worth it.  I never thought it would be because I was very healthy to start.  My doctor (PCP) even said "why do you want this surgery?  There is nothing wrong with you.  You're just fat."  I feel so much better and the tasks of daily living are so much easier since this surgery.  I don't regret it for a second. 

Gwen M.
on 11/24/14 1:46 am
VSG on 03/13/14

First - you might have better luck finding information if you are googling the right abbreviation.  It's VSG and stands for Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.  

If possible, I recommend taking your partner along to a support group meeting or a weight loss surgery seminar.  A lot of times when people are unsupportive it's because they're lacking information.  Do you know why, exactly, she's unsupportive?  Is she scared that you'll die?  Or that you'll change and not love her?  Work on figuring the root cause out.  

I felt like I was pretty well informed before surgery.  So I really can't say that there have been any surprises.  I did not know that I was going to stall right before I made 199, so that's been a bit annoying ;)  

I made this list of promises to myself pre-op, based on research and reading, and it served me well.  

1. I will not panic if I stop losing weight for a few weeks. Instead, I will re-evaluate that my eating is on plan and wait until the stall has lasted 4 weeks before I start to panic.

2. I will not ask OH what I need to take to the hospital, I know these things. Chapstick and a pillow. And the pillow really just needs to be in the car for the trip home.

3. I will not lie when people ask me how I’ve lost the weight. I will either be honest and tell them “surgery, diet and exercise” or I will tell them “I’m not comfortable talking about this with you.” These are the options, lying by omission is not one of them.

4. If I fail, and I will fail, I will forgive myself and return immediately to plan. It’s okay to screw up, it’s not okay to beat myself up for it or let it become the start of a downward spiral.

5. If I don’t start losing sizes right away, I won’t freak out. Chances are the clothes I wear now are too small and tight, and I just deal with it. It might take awhile for my current clothes to fit correctly and that will happen before I can get into smaller sizes.

6. I will own my mistakes. They’re mine and result of my own choices, no one is ever going to hold a gun to my head and make me eat crap, I control what goes into my own body.

7. I will not compare my weight loss to that of anyone else. I’m me.

8. I will do everything I can to find a therapist I can work with. This will help me out in the long run.

9. I will be hyper aware of potential addiction transfer issues and especially aware of getting too caught up in numbers as I already know I am want to do.

10. Extra skin is a fact of life, get the **** over it. If I really hate the way my body looks, I can save my pennies and nickels for plastic surgery once I’ve maintained for a year or two. People will still have sex with me if I have weird skin, and Under Armour sells compression gear. I will, however, have every issue with my skin documented.

11. I will be kind to myself. I will keep getting to my monthly massages, I will keep engaged in my hobbies, and I will spend time with my friends.

12. I already know that being a “hero” about medication is stupid so I’ll work on remembering that when the time comes. Pain keeps us from healing, it’s not noble.

13. I will only weigh myself once a week. I will not let myself get obsessed with the scale. See #9.

14. My stomach will probably gurgle after surgery, this is normal. Just don’t go to silent Meeting anytime soon.

15. I will not worry if people don’t comment on my weight loss. I will assume that they’re being polite and not commenting on another person’s body, which is what they should do.

16. I will work to break the compulsions to “clean my plate” and to “not let food go to waste.” Sure, there are starving kids in Africa, but throwing away food will not change the situation.

17. There is nothing to be done for hair loss, assuming that I’m eating on plan. It will happen, or it won’t, but I will remember that it will grow back eventually. I will be a shavee with St. Baldricks six weeks post-op.

18. I understand that my hormones will be all messed up after surgery. I will do my best to remove myself from the company of others instead of taking my hormonal changes out on them.

19. I won’t weigh myself for the first two weeks post-op because I know that I’ll gain weight from all of the fluids and swelling that surgery entail. I’ll wait to weigh until I’m off liquids.

20. I will not panic if I don’t feel restriction immediately post-op. Chances are restriction won’t kick in fully until I’m eating dense proteins and that will take 4-6 weeks on my plan.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

GoBlueGirl1998
on 11/24/14 1:56 am - MI

I love your attitude! More people need to be like this!

Gwen M.
on 11/24/14 2:01 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I should probably have added that I only made it one week without weighing ;)  And I do now weigh myself daily since I've found a way to make that healthy for myself!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Chris A.
on 11/24/14 1:55 am - Colfax, CA
VSG on 11/20/12

I had my two year anniversary of my surgery last week. My only regret was not doing it sooner. I was overweight all of my adult life (high of 190 at 5'8"). At times I would diet, lose my weight, only to gain it back after a period of time. It took my doctor three or four years of suggesting I investigate WLS and my saying I'll eat salads for lunch and exercise more before I went to an informational meeting. Though my family was skeptical of my doing this at first, once they realized I was committed, they came around and have been very supportive. I was 48 when I had the procedure done. I have two kids (now 13 and 15). I had high blood pressure, out of whack cholesterol (low HDL), sleep apnea and was pre-diabetic. My dad died of his second heart attack when I was 18 (he was 59). The pre-diabetes was the final straw that pushed me to investigate WLS. Listen to your family and try to understand what is behind their concern. Are they worried about losing you? Do they think this is all about will power? My brother thought I could do it on my own. After the fact, he's come to see how I benefited from this. You know yourself best. Many feel this is an easy way out. It is not!

Now I am down 100 pounds. No more blood pressure med's or issues. No more cholesterol meds or issues. No blood sugar issues. No more sleep apnea. That is the plus side and I think the motivators for many to seek a WLS procedure. For me, I think I would have liked to have heard more, the hard work and dedication it takes to maintain even with the surgery. I'm sure I was told, but I never fathomed what it would be like. I am working to lose 10 pounds going into the holidays. I gained it over the last 6 months after having my appendix out (minimal workouts for those six weeks) and then having my son go into high school I allowed my schedule to change, exercise less as I took him to his sports events and I allowed white sugar and white flour back into my diet. The good news, I now have a tool that allows me to get to where I want. And I am able to do so.

The top 5 things for me that I was unaware of were: 1) its a mental battle with myself over old eating habits, 2)its a mental battle with myself over old eating habits, 3)its a mental battle with myself over old eating habits, 4)its a mental battle with myself over old eating habits, 5)its a mental battle with myself over old eating habits. Outside of battling my own demons, and staying mentally focused most all of the time, I've not been surprised or disappointed. I am road biking to and from work (12.5 miles each way with a 1500' elevation gain). I am mountain biking with my teenage, water polo playing son and keeping up or riding with him until he's tired. I hike until most others are done.  I wish you well no matter your choice.

 

Chris

     

    

 

        
BostonJoe
on 11/24/14 4:16 am

I'm very happy that I had the surgery, and wish I'd done so sooner. I'm sorry that your family isn't supporting you, but I think if you go ahead with it anyway, they'll come around once they see how much better you're looking and feeling.

Top 5 things I didn't expect to have to deal with:

1. Making dinner plans. My girlfriend asks me what I want for dinner, and if I respond truthfully, I have to say, "I don't care." Food is pretty unimportant to me right now, and any food is pretty much the same as any other.

2. Pre- and post- meal nausea. I get a little queasy when I get hungry, and again when I eat. It's not a big deal, and I actually like it because it's negative reinforcement for eating.

3. Water. I find it very difficult to drink enough water. I was a slacker about it pre-surgery, but back then, if I got dehydrated, I could always chug down a big glass. Not so now.

4. Sensory confusion - largely resolved now, but when I was healing, I would randomly feel hungry, or nauseated, or pain, or tickling sensations in my stomach. At about 4 weeks out, I had a two-day episode where I felt ravenous all the time. Once it passed, I was fine.

5. Eating slowly. I'm not good at this. I've always bolted my food down. But I had an overeating experience that taught me the value of slowing down.

VSG 8/4/14 

   

PrayMore
on 11/24/14 10:43 am

In terms of spousal support for WLS, I can relate. My husband knows me to be the girl who does lots of diet plans, tries lots of things, works hard at it and works out like a maniac - running, triathlons, gym memberships. But I haven't had real results in the past 9 years! And I'm grateful that he loves me no matter how I look! But when I told him I wanted WLS after my doctors recommended it, he was dubious. Firstly,  he doesn't want anything to happen to me. We have two kids and I run this household and he works hard outside of the home. I don't know what his other reservations really were, but we had many long conversations about why I need this to be healthy and happy and I want to share all of that happiness with him. So, he came around to the idea and has been very supportive and kind and understanding. In the end, I told him that this was my journey and this was about me. I need this. And I'm sticking to that mantra! My kids - 13 and 9 - couldn't be more supportive! They are very, very cute about it! That totally warms my heart. You need to make this decision for yourself - not for anyone else and not decide against it for someone else, too! Lots of resent-potential there if you do! I wish you luck in your decision!!!! Best wishes!

  

5'6", VSG on Dec. 2

    

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