surgery tomorrow

Surgery is tomorrow. I'm in a thousand pieces, yet completely numb. I don't think I'm processing what's going to be happening tomorrow, but yet I am. I am second guessing everything. I don't want to give up my relationship with food. I don't want to have to worry about what I consume ect. 

My my husband keeps reassuring me that I've wanted this, for a very long time & that I'm just scared. Maybe that is it, but I feel like I'm going to lose me & who I am. I don't want that. 

I know I am strong, and I can stick to anything I put my mind to, but I feel like I'm going to be giving up a normal life, and for that I am unaware of what I should be doing.

I am not excited for the journey, I'm terrified. Terrified of so many unknowns.

It's totally normal to feel this way right before surgery!  Take deep breaths and try to focus on your goals and everything that made you decide to have surgery in the first place.  

For what it's worth, I feel like my life is pretty normal now.  It's the new normal, of course, the old normal didn't involve so much exercise.  Or the enjoyment of exercise!  All change is scary, but you've got this.  

I had my surgery 4 days ago and had the same feelings. Like Gwen said it's very normal. It's a life change but for the best. Each day I feel better. I don't regret my decision at all and I don't think you will regret it either. Just stay strong and be positive it will all be worth it in the end. We can do this!

I agree that the fear you feel is soooo normal. You're facing major surgery. I was where you are exactly 1 year ago. I very much feel today like I FOUND myself. I'm very okay with my new relationship with food because what has come with it is a new relationship with life!

Best of luck to you with your surgery tomorrow!

It's 1am so I had mine yesterday. Posting from my sipping chair in my hospital room. I was totally nervous too- I found my relationship with food useful for so many years but it wasn't really doing me any good. Now I will eat like a thin person, and be more physically and mentally healthy.  Good luck today!  And don't worry if you can't pee much for a little while while you are in the hospital. Found out that was normal 😃

I absolutely empathize.  My surgery was 8 days ago and I burst into tears in pre-op.  You are going to feel so much better 7 days from today.  I swear.  After the surgery, for about 2 days, I was in a state of "what the hell did I do to myself" -- especially when I had to re-learn potty training after surgery.  But you get through it.  You will come out stronger, and quietly proud of yourself for doing what you need to do to care for yourself.  All my best. 

Breath, take deep long breaths. 

I know how you feel. I just signed up today.  I am having surgery next Tuesday.  I went today to the hospital for pre testing.  I have major hospital anxiety so you might wonder - why CHOOSE surgery?  Why CHOOSE to be at the HOSPITAL?  Well, because I want to choose ME for the first time.

Listen to your husband.  You have followed a long road for a reason.  Things always get tough right at the end.  Get through tomorrow, get through this stage and you WILL have a relationship with food again, it will just be a different one.

I think of that a lot.  My family makes HUGE massive gigantic family dinners (one contribution to where I am today), and I think about those dinners and how it will be sitting next to family members with over flowing plates and how I will only be able to take bites.  Oh well.  I think about how my aunts will ask if I am sick or if the food wasn't good or if I already ate.  Oh well.  I think about events for work and sitting next to colleagues enjoy meals and how they might ask.  Oh well.  I think about my favorite foods that I like and how I may never be able to have them again. Oh well and better yet, they might not be my favorite foods anymore, I might have new ones.

Take comfort in that you are choosing YOU and you will get through the tough times. I know I will have a tough time post op, I know I will.  But it is just days or weeks compared to a healthy lifetime.

Keep me posted and friend me on this site and we can stay in touch since our surgery dates are so close.

Good luck and breath!