Support Group Problem

JoeyJo
on 4/24/15 1:38 am - NJ

I have noticed in my support group one person who has become troublesome to me in that she hijacks the group, answers every question even though she is clearly wrong and interrupts every discussion even though she has admitted to having serious eating disorders.  She is not helpful and, in fact, makes me dread going to this group that I desperately need.  In my head, I am yelling for her to stop talking and listen!  I have considered calling the psychologist running the group to discuss it privately to see if he may be able to rein this person in since this is the third meeting that she has completely overtaken.  

I missed last month's meeting because my father was sick and has since died.  I really wanted to discuss emotional eating, but I never had an opportunity to say anything even after a discussion about regain when another person talked about how easy it was for him to stick to plan even when his father died.  He is new, was in pre-surgery mode at the time and heavily monitored and motivated.  I attempted twice to say that it is much harder later on and although I still feel motivated, I'm having trouble, especially at night, with emotional cravings for ice cream, carbs and other comfort foods.  I realize they are just cravings and will pass, but it is no longer simple.  I wanted advice from the vets, but did not get an opportunity.

I googled possible solutions but I would not want to be the one to say anything and do not think it would work in this situation.  I will call the psychologist.  I would hate to lose my group.

Ivan the Interrupter
Ivan is the group member who, consciously or unconsciously, is always interrupting other people. He can't seem to keep his mouth shut. Other participants will begin to see it coming and will start hesitating to share for fear they will be interrupted. Ivan must be helped to control his interrupting tendencies or he will destroy the very heart of the group.

Appropriate ways to intervene: Gently remind Ivan of the "equal time" ground rule. When this fails, go to the next step: "Ivan, I notice that sometimes you have a tendency to interrupt the person who is talking. Are you aware of this?" You can then offer to help him when he does interrupt; it can often be done in good humor with excellent results.

Jamie L.
on 4/24/15 1:48 am, edited 4/24/15 1:48 am - Grover Beach, CA
VSG on 06/02/14

I think your idea of calling the person who runs the group and discussing it with him/her is a very good one.  It is their job to "direct" the discussion and take care of problems like this.  I am like you and do not like to be confrontational but you may need to take a stand to get the help you need.  Whatever happens do NOT let this person keep you from continuing to attend and get the support you need.  Good Luck!

   VSG with Dr. David Thoman on 6/02/2014, Age 54, Height 5'7",  Highest Weight 280,  Pre-Surgery Weight 240, Current Weight 152.8 (4/20/2015)  Next Goal 140 | Total Weight Lost 87 lbs.

 Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels!!!

  

JoeyJo
on 4/24/15 1:57 am - NJ

You are right.  I sent a private email to the psychologist about the interrupter and I made an appointment with my nutritionist to address the cravings. 

psychoticparrot
on 4/24/15 3:49 am

The problem is not the person who keeps interrupting. The problem is the group facilitator who should know how to run a support group.

 

psychoticparrot

ipray
on 4/24/15 4:31 am
VSG on 11/06/14

I agree with the other responders. The leader as the moderator needs to nicely say "lets give someone else a chance to respond" or something of that nature. Maybe after repeating this a few times the person will get the hint. I am sorry to hear about your father. You are going through a rough time. Glad you are reaching out for help to see you through it. Good luck to you!    

    

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