Heart broken (off topic, just need to vent)

(deactivated member)
on 11/29/15 11:36 am - AZ

*This is not weight loss related, just need to vent... Thank you

 

I am so heart broken... last week my boyfriend broke up with me... We didn't have a fight or anything, just he decided he wasn't happy anymore.. I just dont understand how he could say he loves me and talked about our future together all the time (that same day actually).. we had a blended family, his son and my two kids.. Of course we had our rough patches, everyone does.. But to just give up without any warning and leave, hurts so much! I thought I finally found the love of my life.. and he's gone now!

Everyone keeps saying I'll find someone better ect. but right now I just want him home.. I know thats not going to happen though, he told me "I don't want to try anymore, it's over for good" and all his things were packed and picked up...

My house doesn't feel like a home anymore... I can't even sleep in our bed, I just cry...

I wish this didn't hurt so much...

Just want to add, he has only known me since losing weight.. so it wasn't that, that changed his mind...

Delta0712
on 11/29/15 11:57 am
WLS on 12/03/15

Glendalemom: 

I got dumped about 7 weeks ago too. It's been particularly rough because it was the first time in a while I had invested so much in a relationship. We've tried to be friends since but my brain keeps telling me to let go as he flat out said he never had feelings for me. My heart says hang on because after surgery things will change, I will change mentally and physically and maybe he'll think more of me. I was a mess for about 4 weeks. Even lost 10lbs in 2 weeks from being so depressed! My only distraction has been getting ready for my VSG. He doesn't know I'm having it yet as I didn't start the process til after he dumped me. 

I don't have much advice but I do know how it feels, saying "it's his loss" and "it'll be ok" never works when people tell me such things so I won't say that. I guess I just want to say I'm sorry you're hurting, that life sometimes is so cruel we can't breathe and that I hope relief comes to you soon. My own heart is still broken, I still cry at night as he'll be leaving town very soon and won't get to see the end result of my journey. I don't have many friends in town as I moved back to my hometown after college and left my closest friends behind so it makes things tough bit of you have yours, lean on the real ones. Distraction is all that can get you through the rough days.

iloveravens
on 11/29/15 4:34 pm
RNY on 08/13/14

I'm sorry you're hurting too.

Many people told me when my husband died, "Oh you're so young, you'll find someone else." I was 31.  Really?  I don't want someone else.  I want the father of my kids back.  People are just dumb sometimes.

Lanie; Age: 43; Surgery Date (VSG): 8/12/14 w/complications resulting in RNY next day;

Height: 5' 6" SW: 249 Comfort Zone: 135-140 CW: 138 (10/13/17)

M1: -25 lbs M2: -12 M3: -13 M4: -7 M5: -11 M6: -10 M7: -7 M8: -7 M9: -3 M10: -8 M11: -4 M12: -4

5K PR - 24:15 (4/23/16) First 10K - 53:30 (10/18/15)

Grim_Traveller
on 11/29/15 4:56 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

 

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

H.A.L.A B.
on 11/29/15 6:25 pm

Hugs... You still love him.  He showed you what real love looks like. If you lucky You may find a second love... 

It will not be the same... Or may not even be similar...but you know what loving someone and being loved by somone feels like... And hopefully you would not settle for anything less than... Hugs...

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

Paula1965
on 11/29/15 12:15 pm
VSG on 04/01/15

So sorry for your hurt right now. Things will get better with time even though it doesn't feel like it right now. (((Hugs)))

 

Paula



5' 4" tall, HW: 242, SW:215.4 Weight Loss - pre-op: - 26.6, M1: -15.4, M2: -16, M3: -11.4, M4: -11.2, M5: -12.2, M6: -7.4, M7: -7.8, M8: -2.0 Goal of 130 lbs. reached at 8 months, 2 days post-op!












psychoticparrot
on 11/29/15 12:16 pm, edited 11/29/15 4:33 am

I'm so sorry about your boyfriend leaving. I sometimes wonder if we obese (former and present) use our weight to protect ourselves against exactly what you're going through. 

You need to think of your children now. It must be almost as upsetting for them as for you.

Your grief could have weight repercussions as well. Food often beckons us to come to it for comfort at our low moments. Stay strong for your kids and for yourself.

 

psychoticparrot

  "Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

cappy11448
on 11/29/15 12:26 pm

I am so sorry for your pain.  I just feel so bad for you.  You've been doing so well with your weight loss, and your future should be brighter than ever, and then to have such a big loss. 

Hang in there, and don't let the loss and grieving do you in.  You are a treasure - I can tell from the tone and spirit of your posts.  Keep the faith that God has another plan for you.  You'll come thru this and be all the stronger for it.  I know that's not much consolation when you are in the midst of the pain.  Just remember there are a lot of people who care about you here and in the world as a whole. 

blessings,

Carol

    

Surgery May 1, 2013. Starting Weight 385,  Surgery Weight 333,  Current Weight 160.  At GOAL!

Weight loss Pre-op 1-20 2-17 3-15 Post-op 1-20 2-18 3-15 4-14 5-16 6-11 7-12  8-8

                  9-11 10-7 11-7 12-7 13-8 14-6 15-3 16-7 17-3  18-3

     

ubserved
on 11/29/15 1:13 pm

That stinks and I totally feel for you. I hate to say this but from my experience, when someone just ups and leaves like that, there is someone else in the picture. I know it's hard but just move on from it, the more you stress over it, the more what he did wins, at whatever point your mind sounds off louder than your heart is screaming now, you will feel it like a switch being flipped, sort of like about day 5 of the liquid diet. Go do something special for your kids, they are truly the innocent victims (yes you are too) of this being they might not be old enough to understand it, go do something special for yourself and after a time, look out for someone new. Just keep in mind that food is not your friend to comfort you here. Hang in there. 8)

(deactivated member)
on 11/29/15 2:47 pm

Sorry this happened to you.  You need to take care of yourself.

Just keep telling yourself that you will be okay. I know that sounds silly but you will be okay. 

If he doesn't want to stay you are better off. Just remember you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

 

Most Active
×