Comments

Gwen M.
on 4/7/17 11:08 am
VSG on 03/13/14

An unusual number of people have commented on how "skinny," "tiny," "small," etc. I am recently. The comments come in fits and spurts. There will be weeks/months with no comments and then WHAM, tons of comments.

And the first thought in my head is always, "You are smoking crack and delusional."

Thankfully what comes out of my mouth is, "Thank you! [Insert subject change topic here.]"

I might be those words in comparison to the size I used to be, but I am not those words otherwise. I wonder what size I'll need to be before I actually feel "tiny." Will I ever feel tiny or small? Sigh. One more thing to add to the list to talk about with my therapist next time. I definitely don't think I can be tiny or small while my BMI is still in the overweight category though.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

White Dove
on 4/7/17 12:45 pm - Warren, OH

People tell me that I am tiny. I feel like I am normal sized until I see a picture of myself next to other people. Then I realize I am pretty tiny.

Real life begins where your comfort zone ends

(deactivated member)
on 4/7/17 1:13 pm

There is a lot going on in your post. The BMI issue, though, is a standout for me. The BMI is a single measurement that is used in a very broad general way to determine acceptable medical weights. The range of "normal" BMI weight is supposed to take into account gender and average build. It's methodology was developed in the 19th century by a Belgian statistician (Quetelet or something like that...) and brought into modern usage by Ancel Keys in 1972. It is a simplistic way of determining ideal weight for a broad population and does little to account for individual body mass make up. I'm including a few pics of me that have me all in either overweight or obese by the BMI.

BMI = 32, so OBESE!



BMI here is 29.4 - only .6 away from OBESE.


BMI here is 27, so overweight by bmi standards. I'm wearing 30" waist jeans.

Think about your size 6 dress. A size six is small considering the average American female over 25 wears a size 12-14 (read that somewhere lately). Body dysmorphia (for lack of a better word) takes its toll on we who have been obese. In time you will learn to see yourself for your true size. Taking photos helps and learning to look at yourself without judgment is key to seeing yourself as others see you.

Gwen M.
on 4/7/17 1:45 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

Oh yes. I know all about the usefulness, or lack thereof, of BMI. But it still has power over me.

And dress sizes are hard to gauge by because vanity sizing is such a real issue. But, you're right, pictures would help. That's been the only thing that has helped me during this process is pictures of myself with other people. I know what other people look like, so if I have pictures of myself next to other people who can provide scale, it gives me a better visual of where I am. Good idea!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

CC C.
on 4/7/17 2:43 pm

As an aside, being buried in a pile of puppies is my idea of heaven... Love that picture!

Stacy_WLS
on 4/8/17 7:13 am

I can't echo this more. At 170 and "normal" per bmi standards I had very limited muscle. At 195 and not far from "obese" I'm wearing the same clothes (size 10 / 12), climbing ropes, deadlifting more than my body weight and scoring in the top 25% of the crossfit open.

Shooting just for a BMI number can leave us in a worst position than focusing on being healthy. It's really hard though when the numbers have haunted us for so long.

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

Stacy_WLS
on 4/8/17 7:03 am

External comments can really mess with you. Its hard to keep it in perspective. After being big for so long figuring out the right size for me has been really hard. Sometimes we don't see what other people see so clearly.

I really echo that BMI is not a good guage. Be careful with it. For me to be healthy BMI means letting go of fat burning muscle. I know it will actually make me less healthy. Seeing my mother go through physical therapy has reinforced my desire to keep my body strong -- bones & muscles. Staying under 170 lbs will make that much trickier.

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

Gwen M.
on 4/8/17 7:31 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Yeah - like I said, I definitely know that the BMI thing isn't good thinking. But, right now, that contributes to my "you're delusional" thought when someone comments on my size. Thankfully my actual goals aren't based on BMI, just the way I perceive people's comments :)

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Stacy_WLS
on 4/9/17 7:36 am

That makes sense. If I listened to everything people said about us and took it as "correct" I'd go crazy.

VSG: 12/12/13, LBL, small TL, BL/BA: 11/7/14 Twins 12/9/18 HW after Twins 260. 5'10 37 years old - Stacy_WLS (MFP)

Gwen M.
on 4/9/17 7:37 am
VSG on 03/13/14

No kidding. It's amazing how free people are with their "advice" about our bodies (and other things!)

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

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