Recent Posts

missc_26
on 6/23/17 2:54 am
VSG on 10/03/16
Topic: RE: Need some mental health support... (long post)

Wow that sounds really tough. I want to congratulate you on your honesty and owning that there are some serious issues you need to confront. I am really glad you are seeing a psychologist who I think will be the best support you can get right now.

I am not sure what I can say to be helpful but I will share my thoughts with you.

Firstly, I noticed that you are hardly recognising the amazing progress you have made so far. Going thru the process of WLS is a massive undertaking. Making the decision to undergo the surgery was a positive step. You have put your body under immense stress via the surgery, the time it takes to heal, the commitment to pre diet & post care. All of these are tough and you have already worked your way successfully thru these since Sept last year. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CELEBRATE THESE MILESTONES? Part of the journey is acknowledging where you have come from and where you are heading. You should be really proud of yourself.

That leads me to my second observation. It sounds like you are struggling to stay present (be mindful) and are often anxious or trying to control food for fear of it controlling you. I get it. When food has ruled your life for so long it is hard to accept you might get to be in charge again. Food can really get us playing mind games, its a real as**ole that way. And by being in charge I mean you now have a tool that if you listen to it, use it to tune into your body, you won't need to obsess over calories because it is going to tell you when it is full and all you need to do is eat slowly and mindful, listen to your body and act by moving the food away when you begin to feel full. The weight loss will come I promise.

Finally, the most important thing is to work on changing your attitude to food. Food is energy, it is a way to nourish you and it is vital you focus on this. Getting enough protein from dense sources such as fish, chicken, red meats is going to be super important for you to have the best chance of sustained weight loss. I know there's a bit of debate about how many calories you should be getting each day but i would encourage you to aim for 1000 every day. Focus on your protein sources, nutrients and fibre, so that you both remember how to enjoy food without fear AND have the best chance of achieving and sustaining your goals. I would also encourage adding a greens / spirulina powder like Vital Greens or something similar into your daily routine to keep your energy up. This has been a game changer. We do underestimate the effect lack of proper nutrition has on our mental well being.

That's my rant for what it's worth. Stay alert to what is going on for you, keep getting help from a professional and know that you have people rooting for and believing you will succeed. Take care

missc_26
on 6/23/17 2:15 am
VSG on 10/03/16
Topic: Help please - Need 100 calorie snacks

Hi all

I've recently been struck with the flu & bronchitis as well as having a change in medication and suddenly I find myself craving chocolate, biscuits and comfort food. I'm doing my best to watch my sugar intake but with no opportunity or motivation (as sick) to exercise or carry on my usual daily routine I have really noticed I am slipping up.

Has anyone got suggestions for alternative snacks that might help get me out of the slide I'm in? I'd really appreciate any suggestions.

Thanks so much!

avatarkorraa
on 6/22/17 10:46 pm
VSG on 09/19/16
Topic: Need some mental health support... (long post)

Hello,

I hope everyone here is doing well on their weight loss journey! I'm posting this because I've been having some serious mental health difficulties after surgery and I don't know what to do. I just need to reach out to other people here who understand the struggles of bariatric surgery and who would be so kind as to offer any words of advice or support.

I had VSG surgery 9 months ago on Sept. 19th, 2016. I started at 285 pounds before Opti and I'm at 180lbs right now, putting me at a total loss of 105 pounds so far. At my ultimate highest weight I was 310lbs. My ultimate goal weight after surgery is 150lbs (I'm 5' 7") and I'm trying SO hard to try and make it there. A little too hard in fact. I was actually diagnosed with an eating disorder by my psychologist at my last follow up and my NUT is concerned with my eating habits.

I've been dealing with a lot of bodily dysmorphia, which I know is definitely normal for bariatric patients due to loose skin or just in the process of getting your mind to catch up with recognizing the physical changes in yourself that everyone else sees. But I'm so unhappy with my body still. I know I've lost a lot of weight, but I still feel so huge and ugly and fat, and I'm so distracted with the way my body looks and with the fact that I still don't feel thin enough. Because of that I've been restricting my meals a lot in an effort to try and lose the rest of the weight faster, thinking it'll make me feel better. I've been skipping meals sometimes, going hours without eating, weighing myself multiple times a day on 3 different scales I have at home, and I've been restricting my calorie and carb intake as much as I can. I know it's unhealthy and a sign of disordered behavior, but I just can't seem to stop doing it, no matter how much I recognize that it's a problem. I track everything I eat on myfitnesspal everyday and I weigh my food using 2 different food scales, and sometimes several times. I'll log say, 15 grams of cheese on myfitnesspal, but only weight 11 grams of it to make sure I'm always eating at a deficit and that I don't accidentally eat too many calories. I've set my calorie goal in myfitnesspal for 900 a day but I never hit it. I have a mental barrier in my mind at 800 calories and most days I feel good when I eat around 700-750. I feel really proud of myself on days I eat closer to 500-600 calories, actually. Other things I'll do, is when I use a spoon to scoop and weigh my Greek yogurt from a carton into a bowl, for example, instead of just using the same spoon to eat my bowl of yogurt I feel obliged to aggressively wa**** or just get a new spoon because I don't want to eat any extra calories from the yogurt residue on the spoon. If I don't do that sometimes I'll just lick the spoon and then spit it out whatever was on it into the sink. It's messed up... I know :(

I know this behavior is really unhealthy, but I can't seem to get over this huge fear I have of food now. I'm honestly so terrified of food. Especially carbs. I had my original limit on myfitnesspal set at 20 net carbs a day, but I'll adjust my daily macros by eating 5 grams less here and there to round it out to 15-16 net carbs a day, because I'm so scared of 'hidden carbs' I may be eating accidentally. As I type this I have a plate of chicken breast that I weighed and logged in myfitnesspal already just sitting beside me because I'm too scared to eat it and I want to cry.

I read all about patients *****gained everything after surgery and I'm so scared that'll happen to me. A little voice in my head keeps telling me "if you don't weigh out this lettuce at a slight gram deficit from what you've logged, or if you eat 19 net carbs today when you really should be eating around 15 to make up for any hidden carbs, then you'll just go right back to being 300+ pounds again and miserable with your life If you can't control yourself now, then you won't ever be able to control yourself again and there's nothing stopping you from regained all your weight back".

And that's the thing... while in general I'm dissatisfied with the rate at which I'm losing (I can't help but feel extremely jealous of those people *****ach their goal weight at 6 or 8 months postop), and while I hate the fact that my stomach hasn't flattened out yet and I still have a belly that prevents me from wearing the clothes I want, and while I hate the fact that my body feels so disproportionate now, and while I hate the fact that I still have 30 pounds to lose and even if do I reach my goal weight it won't feel like enough......I know I'm MUCH happier after having had the surgery. I like the person I've become, how my personality has changed in subtle ways, and how losing weight has allowed me to be the person who I truly want to be. I always felt that with being fat, you don't get to be the person who you want to be or who you feel you truly are on the inside because you're always hiding from the world. Maybe that's a bit too abstract of a feeling to put in words, but that's how it's been for me at least. I know I'm much happier and confident now, and all my family and friends are so proud of my weight loss. I feel like I can't allow myself to let them down. I keep telling myself that once I reach my goal of 150lbs that I'll allow myself to eat more calories/carbs for maintenance, but in reality I know that my disordered behaviors are only getting worse and in the state I'm in right now I'll never want to stop losing weight. I've wrestled with the idea of trying to get down to 135-125lbs if I can. If I gain back any considerable amount of weight I'm worried I might become suicidal. I know that's a really extreme statement, but I absolutely cannot allow myself to gain weight or I know I'll be completely devastated.

I don't know what to do now. Every time I go to weigh my food or track my meals it honestly just turned into such a mental battle with myself and I keep wanting to lose as much weight as possible. I want to be able to eat normally and responsibly, and not feel like food is the enemy, but I just can't help feeling the way I am now. Food has prevented me from living the life I wanted for so many years and I feel like I'm just not emotionally ready yet to begin to eat normally. My physical health has suffered a lot as a result sadly, and I'm always incredibly tired, fatigued, and my muscle strength is totally non-existent. Even just walking up the stairs in my house has gotten considerably more challenging than how it was before surgery. Exercising is something I really want to do but I honestly just can't with the energy levels I have right now. My blood pressure and blood sugar are always both pretty low too (around 80/50 range and 3.5, respectively).

I really just can't seem to get over these mental struggles unfortunately. It's been quite rough. :( And that's why I'm desperately seeking your support right now. I'm just looking for some support/encouragement/advice or any kind words in general, because we WLS-ers are all in this together, for both the NSVs and the challenging parts of our respective journeys. If you read this far, thank you so much for listening! I really appreciate it

I hope everyone here is doing well on their weight loss journey! I'm posting this because I've been having some serious mental health difficulties after surgery and I don't know what to do. I just need to reach out to other people here who understand the struggles of bariatric surgery and who would be so kind as to offer any words of advice or support.

I had VSG surgery 9 months ago on Sept. 19th, 2016. I started at 285 pounds before Opti and I'm at 180lbs right now, putting me at a total loss of 105 pounds so far. At my ultimate highest weight I was 310lbs. My ultimate goal weight after surgery is 150lbs (I'm 5' 7") and I'm trying SO hard to try and make it there. A little too hard in fact. I was actually diagnosed with an eating disorder by my psychologist at my last follow up and my NUT is concerned with my eating habits.

I've been dealing with a lot of bodily dysmorphia, which I know is definitely normal for bariatric patients due to loose skin or just in the process of getting your mind to catch up with recognizing the physical changes in yourself that everyone else sees. But I'm so unhappy with my body still. I know I've lost a lot of weight, but I still feel so huge and ugly and fat, and I'm so distracted with the way my body looks and with the fact that I still don't feel thin enough. Because of that I've been restricting my meals a lot in an effort to try and lose the rest of the weight faster, thinking it'll make me feel better. I've been skipping meals sometimes, going hours without eating, weighing myself multiple times a day on 3 different scales I have at home, and I've been restricting my calorie and carb intake as much as I can. I know it's unhealthy and a sign of disordered behavior, but I just can't seem to stop doing it, no matter how much I recognize that it's a problem. I track everything I eat on myfitnesspal everyday and I weigh my food using 2 different food scales, and sometimes several times. I'll log say, 15 grams of cheese on myfitnesspal, but only weight 11 grams of it to make sure I'm always eating at a deficit and that I don't accidentally eat too many calories. I've set my calorie goal in myfitnesspal for 900 a day but I never hit it. I have a mental barrier in my mind at 800 calories and most days I feel good when I eat around 700-750. I feel really proud of myself on days I eat closer to 500-600 calories, actually. Other things I'll do, is when I use a spoon to scoop and weigh my Greek yogurt from a carton into a bowl, for example, instead of just using the same spoon to eat my bowl of yogurt I feel obliged to aggressively wa**** or just get a new spoon because I don't want to eat any extra calories from the yogurt residue on the spoon. If I don't do that sometimes I'll just lick the spoon and then spit it out whatever was on it into the sink. It's messed up... I know :(

I know this behavior is really unhealthy, but I can't seem to get over this huge fear I have of food now. I'm honestly so terrified of food. Especially carbs. I had my original limit on myfitnesspal set at 20 net carbs a day, but I'll adjust my daily macros by eating 5 grams less here and there to round it out to 15-16 net carbs a day, because I'm so scared of 'hidden carbs' I may be eating accidentally. As I type this I have a plate of chicken breast that I weighed and logged in myfitnesspal already just sitting beside me because I'm too scared to eat it and I want to cry.

I read all about patients *****gained everything after surgery and I'm so scared that'll happen to me. A little voice in my head keeps telling me "if you don't weigh out this lettuce at a slight gram deficit from what you've logged, or if you eat 19 net carbs today when you really should be eating around 15 to make up for any hidden carbs, then you'll just go right back to being 300+ pounds again and miserable with your life If you can't control yourself now, then you won't ever be able to control yourself again and there's nothing stopping you from regained all your weight back".

And that's the thing... while in general I'm dissatisfied with the rate at which I'm losing (I can't help but feel extremely jealous of those people *****ach their goal weight at 6 or 8 months postop), and while I hate the fact that my stomach hasn't flattened out yet and I still have a belly that prevents me from wearing the clothes I want, and while I hate the fact that my body feels so disproportionate now, and while I hate the fact that I still have 30 pounds to lose and even if do I reach my goal weight it won't feel like enough......I know I'm MUCH happier after having had the surgery. I like the person I've become, how my personality has changed in subtle ways, and how losing weight has allowed me to be the person who I truly want to be. I always felt that with being fat, you don't get to be the person who you want to be or who you feel you truly are on the inside because you're always hiding from the world. Maybe that's a bit too abstract of a feeling to put in words, but that's how it's been for me at least. I know I'm much happier and confident now, and all my family and friends are so proud of my weight loss. I feel like I can't allow myself to let them down. I keep telling myself that once I reach my goal of 150lbs that I'll allow myself to eat more calories/carbs for maintenance, but in reality I know that my disordered behaviors are only getting worse and in the state I'm in right now I'll never want to stop losing weight. I've wrestled with the idea of trying to get down to 135-125lbs if I can. If I gain back any considerable amount of weight I'm worried I might become suicidal. I know that's a really extreme statement, but I absolutely cannot allow myself to gain weight or I know I'll be completely devastated.

I don't know what to do now. Every time I go to weigh my food or track my meals it honestly just turned into such a mental battle with myself and I keep wanting to lose as much weight as possible. I want to be able to eat normally and responsibly, and not feel like food is the enemy, but I just can't help feeling the way I am now. Food has prevented me from living the life I wanted for so many years and I feel like I'm just not emotionally ready yet to begin to eat normally. My physical health has suffered a lot as a result sadly, and I'm always incredibly tired, fatigued, and my muscle strength is totally non-existent. Even just walking up the stairs in my house has gotten considerably more challenging than how it was before surgery. Exercising is something I really want to do but I honestly just can't with the energy levels I have right now. My blood pressure and blood sugar are always both pretty low too (around 80/50 range and 3.5, respectively).

I really just can't seem to get over these mental struggles unfortunately. It's been quite rough. :( And that's why I'm desperately seeking your support right now. I'm just looking for some support/encouragement/advice or any kind words in general, because we WLS-ers are all in this together, for both the NSVs and the challenging parts of our respective journeys. If you read this far, thank you so much for listening! I really appreciate it

MsMellie911
on 6/22/17 9:31 pm
VSG on 07/11/17
Topic: RE: fighting food cravings...

Thank you, that's really what I needed to be reminded of. :)

missc_26
on 6/22/17 9:19 pm
VSG on 10/03/16
Topic: RE: fighting food cravings...

Honestly the pre-op liquid diet was one of the hardest parts of going thru gastric surgery. My surgeon allowed 2 cups of steamed green vegetables a day which helped when I was just desperate to chew something. However stick to what your surgeons plan is, it really is for only a short time in the scheme of things and will be soooo worth it.

Keep yourself busy and reward yourself for getting thru each day - ie buy yourself a new book, and remember you can't eat if you are having a bath or swimming!

You've got this - the first few days are the worst but it will be worth it.

dh101
on 6/22/17 8:15 pm
VSG on 06/29/17
Topic: RE: Day 2 of Liquid Diet - This is SO hard!

I have been finding that I can counter the hunger by drinking the needed water.

Today it was the head hunger. The ooooh that looks soooo good, that smells great...

But I was able to tough it out and stick to my 3 shakes. I am beginning to look forward to the post surgery "baby food" err, yum, full liquids stage.

Hang in there,

It is better to travel and get lost...

Than never to travel at all.

dh101
on 6/22/17 8:10 pm
VSG on 06/29/17
Topic: RE: Posting to keep myself accountable

You could try journaling hoe you feel when you want to snack. That way you may be able to find a trend, a set of triggers.

That may help you along with logging what you eat will help you stay on track.

Remember that part this journey is getting you brain retrained, which is in fact the really hard part.

Good luck!

It is better to travel and get lost...

Than never to travel at all.

MsMellie911
on 6/22/17 7:58 pm
VSG on 07/11/17
Topic: fighting food cravings...

I am pre-op liquid diet and REALLY fighting the cravings for food...even healthier low calorie foods. How did you all curb the cravings?

dh101
on 6/22/17 7:53 pm
VSG on 06/29/17
Topic: RE: LOW CARB PRE OP diet NOT LIQUID

You will need to weight and measure from now on. So look at this diet as part of reprogramming the meat computer between your ears.

i would look at what you will be eating after surgery. In my case it is to be protein first, then veggies, and if I have room a small amount of starch.

So leading up to my current 2 week protein shake only - pre-op phase, I had some form of eggs most mornings for breakfast. A balanced lunch starting with the protein, and the same for dinner. 3 oz of protein and a portion or two of healthy veggies. If I has a starch, I tried to have it only one meal a day, and the I tried to make it a whole grain, not white starch.

Good luck!

It is better to travel and get lost...

Than never to travel at all.

dh101
on 6/22/17 7:34 pm
VSG on 06/29/17
Topic: RE: Day ten of liquid diet

I'm on day 7 of my two week pre-op. I understand your cravings. The office I work in is next door to a pizza place, which means I smell fresh pizza all day long!

The protein shakes my clinic has us use include Chicken Soup, Broccoli and Cheese Soup, as well as Chocolate, Vanilla, and Lemon Puddings. The soups are nice as they aren't sweet. The pudding has some texture.

Hang in there, you can do it!

It is better to travel and get lost...

Than never to travel at all.

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