Must have been a rough day yesterday for us October sleevers so I totally know what you are saying. My loss has been a little slower than some and I too wonder if I will make goal and even if I don't - if I will be able to keep from regaining what I have lost. No doubt about it - easy to get into old habits and once that can of worms is opened - hard to get the lid back on.
I want to be better. I need to be better. I'm so scared that maybe I'm just not capable of being better.
This part - really struck me - I'm 61 - still feel this way. A little frightening at this point.
Keep us posted on how you are doing - hopefully we can all support each other in this journey.
Paula