Regrets?

I  am pre-op and new to this board and have so many questions. I just saw the video posted by "melting mama" about her regrets on having gastric-bypass and it scares me so much that I am considering not doing this even though I am at the point of just waiting for insurance approval. I have been researching this since last November and started the process in January of this year. I know that some people who have had this surgery say it is the best thing they could have done for themselves. I want to hear from people who are 3 or more years out who have had time to deal with their outcome and be honest about it. Are you anemic? Are you mal-nourished? Are you hating life now? Please help me, I am crying as I write this because I thought my life of depression, high blood pressure, sleep apnea etc was almost over. I so don't want to make the mistake that I cannot take back.

Hi Daphne,

First off, what type of procedure are having?  I had a RNY in 2001 with no complications.  I have since then regained a lot of the weight back after having my son, however it's no ones fault but my own.  All of the side effects that I had were/are not nearly as problematic as being overweight for the rest of your life.  You have to think of all of the things in your life that have been affected by being overweight.  i.e: Sleep Apnea, High Blood Pressure, depression etc.  Any surgery is a scary deal, but think of all of the positive aspects that will come from you being brave and taking this huge step..  You cannot imagine what this can/will do to you.  It's a completely new Lease on Life.  As far as your questions...  I'm borderline anemic, but it's because I don't take my supplements regularily.   I was never malnourished.  My hair did thin out a bit, but came back after you stop losing weight at such a rapid pace.  It's all worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I want to be around for my son and know that it's not going to happen if I maintain being overweight.  As I mentioned, I gained a lot of the weight back (my own fault) and am actually seeing my surgeon tomorrow to disucss some options with him.  Good Luck to you and don't let your fears hinder your happiness.  Feel free to e-mail me directly. 

I am the healthiest I've ever been--I ran a friggin marathon! I have no health complaints now. I love life. I had no complications--but have followed my surgeons rules to a T. The hardest thing is dealing with my food issues--they don't go away--I still want to eat emotionally sometimes or want to graze. I am dealing with those issues with a counselor and with the support from friends/family and that get on this board.

I think that some people have really struggled and some people need lots of support and some people thrive on attention and there are all of these kinds of people and more on these boards. Some people are thrilled to pieces with their results; they are often less vocal and/or do not come here for help--why would they if they are doing great? 

Do your research. Get a counselor to help you deal with the emotional side of it all (whether you have surgery or not). And make the right decision for you. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Im 3 years out from lap RNY. When I was researching the surgery, I was 58 years old and had been morbidly obese almost all my adult life. I had high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, severe vein disease in my legs from excess weight and standing for longhours at work. I had severe edema in my extremeities, joint pain constantly, depression, I had reached the point I couldnt put on my own shoes and sox, hubby had to help,,I couldnt walk a block without having to sit and rest. I cried a lot. After researching this site and others for almost a  year, I told my husband,,I want this surgery. he was against it, fearing I would die or have major complications, I had already had one heart attack, but he understood how unhappy I was and agreed to go with me to talk to the doctor. We went to the seminar, and the doctor examined me and said I was a perfect candidate for RNY. I had to go through weeks of pre op testing, so I prayed that if I wasnt supposd to do this,,they would find a reson for me not to go through with it. I passed every test with flying colors. Even my cardiologist was excited for me, I was approved by my insurance in 6 hours. I had my surgery and have had not a single complication.
Now, I am 61 years old and no one believes that when they see me. I have no medical porblems whatsoever, am off all medications, I walk, run, work in the yard, ride rides at the amusement park, fit through a turnstyle, put my own shoes on,,(2 sizes smaller now!) I never swell up, no joint pain, never depressed, no more congestive ehart failure, trade clothes with my 20 year old grand daughter, shop off any rack, wear trendy outfits and strappy high heels, and hubby calls me HOT! Checkout my profile and see the changes.
Sure, I may suffer some complication in the future,,like hypogycemia or something,,but my doc says I have added about 15  years to my life. How long would I have lived had I not had the surgery?? Ive never been happier, or healthier.
Its a personal choice, but remember this. The future never comes with a guarantee, and there are a lot of people who live with regret every day. Some regret never taking a chance, some regret that they did. Its called life. I chose to take a chance to live it to its fullest. And now I can!
be Blessed Sweetie!
Betsy

I haven't seen the video that you watched so I can't comment on that. I am 3.5yrs post op (rny)and am in very good health~no hbp, anemia, malnourishment, etc. I do, however, follow the rules pretty closely as far as diet, exercise, vitamins, etc. I know that some people run into problems when they don't follow the vitamin routine that we will all have to follow for life. I have had issues with family member and friends being unkind to me, talking behind my back, etc. This has changed our world somewhat b/c  now it can get uncomfortable at holidays and bdays when I have to be around my  husband's family (his brothers wife is terrible to me now) and I've lost a few people that I thought were friends, but turned out not to be. This aspect was really something I didn't consider before surgery, although it certainly wouldn't have stopped me from having surgery and losing the weight! I can say that I am happier and healthier now at 40 than I was from age 25-36. I don't regret having surgery at all, I only wish I would have done it sooner. Could problems arise in the future?? Its a possibility, BUT it was inevitable that I would have had health problems if I would have remained at 328lbs or more. You are smart to do your research, thoroughly check out your surgeon, consider all of your options, etc. Take everything into account before you make your final decision~I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you!! Good Luck to you whatever you decide!!!!

Yes, some people have had an awful time and terrible complications.  And you can't push the risks of surgery away...You must measure and weigh all risks, your entire life...
Some risks we take for granted because the chances are slim...EVERYDAY you walk out your door and get into your car, you run the risk of being in a deadly accident...You double those chances, driving on a weekend night after the bars close...or on holidays after people have been drinking all day...But still, we get in the car and we go visit family and friends...or just go shopping...

Surgery is one of those risks we MUST analyze to pieces...and sure we find all the bad stuff and it sticks out like a bad nightmare...This is why finding a GREAT surgeron and nut are so important...GEtting as much info and knowledge about the beginning, middle and long term are also important, and knowing how healthy you are or are not are also important. 

Ignoring symptoms was my biggest downfall.  Taking for granted that I could eat enough to get all my vits with food was another mistake I made. Not educating my doc on the right tests to check...another mistake I made...At year 4, I ended up with anemia...and a magnesium deficiency as well as being quite low (albeit normal) on most of my vits.  Malnutrition or borderline anyway...It scared the heck outta me...I felt fine...A little more lazy and sleepy than normal...It was so gradual that i hadn't realized just how exhausted and dizzy and cloudy headed I was UNTIL I started upping my vit levels...So that was quite an eye-opener for me.  I'm stubborn and one of those kinda people that gets a bit complacent and hates routines (like taking vits) or being on schedules or the same things day in day out...That hurt me...

It's important too stay in contact with a support group...I didn't do that...It's important to be your own health care advocate...I'm just learning that!  Diet and exercise is only part of your life long responsibility...Health is too...I didn't take that seriously enough...Malabsorption is REAL and it takes a long time to deplete your bodies vitamins stores...3-4 years...I thought I was safer as I got further out with no trouble...So now I know...I must never stop working on my vits and health and diet. I knew it...but I didn't KNOW it...

I also didn't know that anemia runs in my family as well as magnesium and potassium deficiencies...I never thought to look into that.  I looked for diseases...heart and diabetes and cancer stuff...I ignored the fact that I was anemic during my pregnancies...and didn't take my iron supps after WLS.  DUH!!! I was pretty ignorant for a not so stupid person!  I could have had a heart attack with my iron low (low oxygen in the blood)  So I needed to take the surgery as serious as a heart attack, very lierally!...and I thought I really did...Noone can really say whether it was my fault or it was bound to happen...SO MANY non-wls people get anemia...Thin people get diabetes, non smokers get cancer...healthy people who exercise daily have heart atttacks...

Being 315 lbs was NOT my idea of living. I am so much happier being 165 lbs with some vitamin deficiencies (malnutrition) than suffering all the comorbidities of being MO.  I would only change one thing....I would have been less careless with taking vits and listening to my body and going to the doc yearly.  That's all...The risks to me were worth the last 4 1/2 years of being pain-free, med-free, agile, happy, sexy, healthy and just normal! I could not go on much longer the way I was.  When I think of my life another 4 1/2 years in that 315lbs body...I wouldn't trade my anemia or deficencies or food struggles to EVER go back...I feel so grateful that if I did have problems or worse...died ...I would still have made a great choice for myself because the quality of my life far surpasses my dreams of ever being where I am right now...

It's a choice you have to make for you...A risk you don't have to take...but if you don't, life goes on the way it is if you don't make some choices to change some other way.  I write this with a smile and warmth in my heart even after reading of a recent sudden death of a lovely lady due to complications...I read her entire blog and even she was so happy with her choice and her many problems...No one wants to die...but all of us will....Some sooner than others...Quality of life or quantity of life...no one can predict either...1-1000 will die from WLS...I've NEVER been that lucky...and if I do get that lucky....I hope I come back as a tree...I'll be shade for a picnic...or fun for a kid to climb...I'll be cut down to make some cozy chair someone can sit in and rock their baby or a be a telephone pole or a baseball bat...or eaten by termites...Or I'll just stand proud in some forest and watch the seasons come and go...Or catch on fire from some stupid cigarette...or be used to make paper that someone writes a love letter on or an important discovery or maybe the news of a death of a loved one...or matchsticks to light a house on fire that kills an entire family....Or maybe be a house that shelters a family filled with love and joy...or one with abuse...Hummm???

No one knows what life has in store for us...There are risks just being a tree...

I'm sorry this was so long...You struck a nerve in me with your question and I just needed to pour my heart in this...I really need a hobby...Good luck....Feel better about things...and be happy with whatever you decide...Just make the best of either decision...
Hugs

Hey there. What you're feeling is normal and it's okay. I freaked out before surgery too.

I'm a little over four years out. Yes, this road has had its ups and downs. I made some bad decisions last year and wound up suffering from malnutrition and anemia. Why? I wasn't taking my vitamins and getting my labs done regularly. You can't slack off. That's the thing.

After I went through that, it kicked my butt back into gear. Now I take my multivitamin, b-100 complex, and b-12 shot once a month along with eating a diet high in lean protein and fresh foods. I try to avoid most processed foods. I am undoubtedly the healthiest I have ever been in my whole life. I take a walk at lunch every day and enjoy it. I can run and play with my dog without sputtering for breath. I can do so many things now that I never could have at 280lbs. The key is to remember that if you follow the plan and use your tool correctly, you will not fail.

I'm not saying that WLS will fix everything. I had an anxiety problem before it and I still have one now. But what I don't have is all the risks I'd have faced 110lbs. ago. In my eyes, it's one less thing to worry about and one more thing to bring joy into my life via new experiences at a healthy weight.

So take a deep breath and remember that there will always be support here, no matter what you decide to do.

I'm 2.5 years out from lap RNY.  Although I weighed 479 at my highest weight, I was a "healthy" pre-op---no smoking, no heart condition, no diabetes.  I did have HBP, high cholestrol, and my knees were screaming.  I have been overweight since I was a child.  This was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I had no post op complications and my hair didn't fall out.

I have now no health problems.  Take no medications.  My blood work is great.

I do religiously take my vitamins, eat a healthy diet of high proteins, complex carbs and fruits and veggies with a few treats, and exercise regularly.  Without PS I will never be a size 10 but that's OK with me. 

Too many fats give me an Alli-like reaction.  I can't eat chicken--makes me erp and if I drink liquid sugar---like a high sugar coffee drink, I have a bad reaction--dizzy and tired--so I guess it's mild hypoglycemia. 

I can still only eat about 1-1/2 cup of food at a time if you consider that a side effect.

If your surgeon has a councelor attached to his ptactice, you need to call and set up an appointment.

Good luck.  Hope this was helpful.

Hi all and thank you so much for the responses. I had decided to have RNY back in January and have been working towards that for approval from my insurance co. I thank all of you for your honest responses and I thank God that we have a place like this to go online and get help and encouragement from each other.
I am going to take in all of your words and encouragment, pray, and think very hard more about this. Thanks again.

Daphne,
I had open RNY when I was 54, after 3 decades of varying degrees of obesity.  Need I even say how many times I dieted, lost weight (sometimes very significant amounts), and re-gained it?  I ended up at my all-time high of 295, which at 5'4" ain't pretty. 

I had absolutely no complications, not even minor ones.  I had a very slight inclination to "dump," but that was very infrequent & mild because I followed my surgeon's/nutritionist's protocol to a "T"!  I never encountered a weight-loss plateau, which at my age and with all my years of yo-yo dieting came as a pleasant surprise to me!  I didn't set any records losing, but it was consistent and at a pretty typical rate.  It was the easiest way to lose weight I'd ever experienced!

I was a "model" patient for about 18 mo. and then gradually started "testing the waters."  Can you spell M-I-S-T-A-K-E???  I still did pretty well for about another year, but as I discovered that (1) virtually nothing makes me dump, (2) I can eat pretty normal portion sizes, (3) I stopped being as diligent w/ my working out, & (4) surprise, surprise, I'm still addicted to bad carbs & pitiful eating habits--well, let's just say the consequences were predictable.

It doesn't matter how many people tell you or how many times you read it--because, believe me, I thought I'd heard/read everything and went into this very realistically--I don't think you can really, really see very far beyond just LOSING THE WEIGHT!!   It is not magic!  The "losing part" might seem to be that way--and for awhile, I even thought I had the maintaining part under control--but eventually, most (NOT ALL) wls patients are pretty much on a level playing field w/ others.  The malabsorption "adjusts" as does the portion issue.  That's why it's so-o-o important to do your very best to follow the rules, get some good counseling and/or support, & make lifestyle changes during the first year or two.  Because so many of us (& I do not speak for everyone) who thought we "had it licked" find ourselves fallen from grace, so to speak, and it's really tough!

I would have the surgery again--no question about it--but just understand that the reasons that made you morbidly obese in the first place will still be there.  I wish I was one of the "lucky" ones who still got sick from eating "bad" things or too much food--and I sure as heck wish I was among those who have been disciplined enough to fight through the temptations and stay on track--but I'm not.  By no means have I given up--I still am wanting to lose at least part of the weight I have re-gained (you can see this in my signature)--but it's very hard for me at this point!

Best wishes to you!  I hope you have the surgery and that you can put into practice everything that will help you to be successful long-term!