Okay gang, its been quite a while since I've posted. Lately, I've been reading other posts for comparison sake and it seems we're all pretty much going through the weight gain thing. I am several years out, I lost about 120#,but never reached my goal weight, I came to a dead stop at 200#  and held there for about 5 years, then I got pregnant, gained about 15 and never lost the weight, but also didn't excercise, or stick to a lo-carb diet or do any of the things I was taught to do at the beginning. I now weigh 225. I just thought that I was normal again, and could eat what I like and go on just any old diet and lose weight, I didn't realize that it would be so hard to take it off! Oh, and I'm a CARB fiend, not just the white flour and pasta kind either SUGAR, SUGAR,SUGAR! I have to admit that for the most part I am pretty good at choosing the right foods when I am paying attention, but there are many times that I will just reach for something sweet and pop it into my mouth and not even realize it until it's going down. sometimes, I 'll spit it out when I catch myself! (not very attractive in public!) it's a lousy habit and it is driving me crazy. I know what I need to do, I just don't know how to get myself moving again. I feel that I am sabotaging my every effort, but I don't know why. I never actually got to that place where I felt good about my appearance, but my health is excellent and I have always felt great about that. I just needed to share this, to hold myself accountable, to maybe let someone else know that they aren't alone. I am 44 years old I have an active three year old son I don't want my every moment to be consumed by weight gain/loss issues. I really believed that I would be able to get back to normal and just live, but my back hurts, my boobs hang and my belly never got flat I can't afford lifts and tucks, but again, I am healthy. I just want get to that place where I am content with my appearance...guess I better get to work!

Tuesday:
coffee with creamer 3 cups
EAS Protein shake
orange
Weigh****cher Ziti Macaroni
baby carrots
sugar free pudding
apple
4 oz. ham
2 T. mashed potatoes
spinach
1/4 c. cottage cheese
Lots of water and all my vitamins

I had a challenging eating day again. I think it is hormones, y face and chest have broken out the last few days. I wanted to eat everything I saw.
0930-crustless veggie quiche, 1 veggie sausage, oatmeal w splenda
1100-apple, and 2 tootsie rolls(mini)
1300-1/2 egg salad on wheat, cup of chicken white bean chili, mini doughnut
1500-3 oreos, lowfat popcorn
1800-6 inch turkey and pepperjack w lots veggies from subway
2030-0%fage, special k cereal, serving of pirates booty
All my water and such, was so tired today did not feel like running so walked 2 miles on treadmill at 4.0 mph. Tomorrow is a do over!
Mary

Evening folks..
Well today is much better but a little slight on intake.  I'll have to pick up some protein before bed just to get calories up but otherwise I 'behaved' myself today LOL

B  Vanilla Cream protein shake w/8oz lite soy milk plus 1/2c peaches
S  3/4c 2% cottage cheese
L  Slim Fast chocolate drink
S  4oz Dannon Fit & Lite yogurt-blueberry
S  2 caramel candy, 4 tortilla chips
D  2oz pot roast, 1oz squash, 1/2c SF chocolate pudding
S  4sl deli smoked ham

Totals:  964cal, 27.7g fat  75.7g carb  100g protein
Good day!! all vitamins in and working on 3rd 20oz flavorer water.
See ya tomorrow!
Nancy aka Sunray

What a beautiful day today is..I got a nice little walk in this morning to our Northern building..I stayed busy but lunch wasn't the best (protein rich) thing..I'm thinking that imitation crab meat is a NO GO..but it's so freakin good..sigh..well, we'll see.

5:30 am 1/4 serving protein waffles, 1/2 large apple, 1/3 serving sf pancake syrup

6:00 am 12 oz coffee w/NSA Swiss Miss

6:30 am double espresso latte with plain soy milk and splenda

7:00 am 24 oz herb tea, Lipton Passion Fruit and Strawberry with splenda

8:15 am 1 oz cheddar cheese, 1 pc turkey breast deli meat

9:30 am 24 oz Drink Mix with ice, Nestea Iced Tea with splenda

10:30 am half of an imitation crab salad: 1 cup cooked cabbage, 1 small roma tomato, 4 oz imitation crab meat, 1 oz honey mustard dressing

11:00 am 24 oz Drink Mix with ice, Hawaiian Punch Orange

12:00 pm 12 oz decaf with half n half

1:00 pm the rest of the crab salad and a small orange

1:40 pm 24 oz drink mix with ice, Lipton Mango Mandarin Tea

2:45 pm 1 hard boiled egg

3:30 pm 24 oz herb tea, Bigelow Vanilla Chai

6:00 pm 4 meatballs, 2 cups cooked cabbage, 1/3 cup spaghetti sauce and some parm cheese..YUM..but way too early. I'm gonna need a snack later. Not sure what that will be. I've had enough water but maybe some nice warm tea since it's cold tonight..Probably an ounce of honey roasted peanuts..I'll include that. 
 
Totals:
Calories: 1615
Fat: 83.6
Carbs: 140.0
Protein: 99.0

I'm done for the night! See ya.

The more I research this drug the more I think i will stay with my tylenol/advil regimen...

 wow thats is so helpful...I will have to check your board....great meal ideas!!

Well hello back Friend!
  Yes I have let down on my guard for the past few months and have done some slipping up in watching the bad calories that I have allowed back into my diet.  I have added some simple carbs like cookies and bread which I know I can't tolerate.  I can eat those things and be at one number on the scale and wake up the next morning and be 2 or 3 pounds heavier.  If I quit eating them, the weight drops right back down, but I've done this behavior a few too many times because the scale has inched up since the holidays and the more I try to diet and stop the behaviors the worse I seem to be getting.  I know it is all old emotional eating behaviors that I need to really finally deal with and learn to deal with stress, upset, disappointment without turning to food.  If you find a good therapist, let me know.  That is what I am considering doing next because even though I'm much smaller, my head is still "fat".  I have been working out at the gym for the past 2 and 1/2 years so working out is not my problem.  If you do want to take the Jazzercise class in Reno, find out when it is, I will see if I can fit it in my schedule.  I have always loved to do Jazzercise.  I used to do that when I worked downtown Fort Worth. 

Girl, you are way too good for that louse of a man who left you for another woman.  You just need to figure that out.  You will make a wonderful wife for someone who truly loves you for you just as you are.  I know that realizing that is harder to do than it is for me to say.  If I were you, I would concentrate on making myself happy and raising your son and leave that man in the barditch where he belongs.  He does not deserve such a wonderful woman as you. 

I would get onto E-Harmony if you are ready to see men again, and get out there and socialize again or just focus on being a happy single woman and find friends who are in the same situation and spend some time on you, maybe taking a trip to Europe this summer with a group of women who like to travel.  I don't know, get creative and get your mind spinning forward towards a new goal.  My cousin's dad is a first generation American with his father and mother immigrating from Italy  He has decided that he is going to learn the language of Italian and I believe he is nearly 60 or maybe a little older.  So we can learn new things and find new interests.  That's what I am trying to do.  I want to learn to have passion for something other than food, lol!!

Let me know about the Jazz class.  Even if it won't work for my schedule, let's meet sometime for coffee maybe on a Saturday morning or something. - Cheryl

Well, I'm here to confess...totally blew the best laid plans on Sunday and Monday. Yesterday was better than Sunday...until I got home from work.  I didn't even bother to fill in my tracker on FitDay....seeing it in writing would have just made me binge more..guilt, shame...defensiveness...ect etc etc.

Tuesday IS better and I am writing it down...tonight will not mean sabotage!  See ya on the next thread LOL
Nancy aka Sunray

Hey thanks for the response... I am making an appt to see the dr. but I am kind of worried about it.