ObesityHelp

So you're probably going to think I'm nuts but obviously I told my husband and he's been very supportive and I told my 2 closest friends. I didn't tell anyone else until AFTER my surgery and it's only been the people that I'm closest to and that I know will be supportive. I told my grandmother (she is like a mother to me) in-person 2 months afterward (I live on the other side of the country from her). She was surprised but very supportive. I explained to her the reasons I decided to do it and she knows I've always struggled with my weight. I told her that I didn't tell her beforehand because I didn't want her to worry and make me more worried. I also told my aunt that is like a best friend and she was very supportive and I just recently told my in-laws who were also very supportive and that I'm close to. Other than that I'm not telling anyone else in my family because I know how they are (especially my parents who I am not that close to) and they will not understand, will not be supportive, and at this point in my life I don't really care what they think and I don't need their negativity upsetting me.

Obviously people have noticed I've lost a lot of weight these last 7 months and when they ask me what I'm doing, I told them I eat A LOT less, mainly lean protein and very limited carbs. It's the truth and the RNY is just a tool that's helping me be successful.

My advice to you is if you think you'll keep getting negative responses from people, then don't tell them. Or you can tell them after you've lost some weight and they see how well you're doing. You need to take care of yourself and all that matters is that you and your husband are on the same page :). Good luck to you!

That's awesome way to go!

** Warning -  censored nudity at bottom link - not for work **

I'm gonna do a cross post on this one. Just wanted to get some different opinions. So I have come to a crossroads so to speak. I have got my nutrition and eating down to a science. I have mastered the discipline of going to the gym. I have sweated and pushed myself to the max to transform my body into the body I have desired for a lifetime. I set a goal for 190 which is a number I pulled out of thin air. I based it on a weight when I was 18 years old. I was thin and scrawny back then. Now I am 36 and after losing tons of weight and hitting the gym I have gotten pretty strong and have bulked up with muscle quite a bit. So here is the dilema. I am battling vanity vs necessity.

I have come across a sum of money. It is sitting in the bank and reserved for my plastic surgery. Now I already contacted a doctor in mexico to get his opinion on what procedure would be best for me. A lower body lift and inner thigh lift is what he recommended. My main issue is with all the extra skin around my abdominal region. A tummy tuck would get the job done. So whats the problem you may ask. Well - how vain should I take this plastic surgery journey. I have the opportunity to get a tummy tuck in Miami Florida now or wait and save up to get the Body Lift in mexico. What makes this decision difficult is that I am also trying to get back to college to accomplish a goal of being a pharmacist. If I wait to save up the money for mexico it would delay college again because I would have to work alot to save the money. I may be able to take a class or something but I would not be able to attend full time.

Then of course there is always the option of getting the tummy tuck now and later on getting the rest done but that would be multiple major plastic surgeries and I don't know if I want to put myself through all that. Needs vs wants. Do I really need a tight butt and inner thighs that no one will see unless I am naked? Yeah I want it, but do I really need it.

I think I am at a good weight right now and I think 190 is too low of a weight for me. While I could get there I would look too scrawney. I think Im ready to take the plunge and get the rest of the job done with plastics.

The link below is a link to a mostly nude semi censored shot. Yeah Im brave and its pretty revealing but the purpose of the pic is to help me decide what to do. If your offended by partial nudity than please dont click the link unless you want to be offended. lol.  Put yourself in my postion and pretend you were a 36 year old guy. What would you do? Well thats enough rambling on for me. Thanks for the help.

** warning - censored nudity - not for work **
s1070.photobucket.com/albums/u485/smbergie215/

Hi and welcome :)
Mandy

I have been dealing with weight issues for so many years. I am going through the process to have RNY surgery.
I have decided to tell only a few people in my life. As I don't need any negativity in my decision to have this surgery. To help better my life and in the future. I deserve to feel good and be healthy.
Hope that this help. I informed my husband about my decision after I had done research, have gone to a few apts, etc.

Doesn't that totally Suck, when everyone looks at you like you are crazy when they hear you mention it??  Can I get one person to support me??

 Thanks. I'm trying to get them to realize that this is the healthy thing to do. All the diets I tried either failed or I gained the weight back and then some. I'm happy about my choice to do this. I go to my nutritionist and mental eval. Thurs. then I will get my surgery date when the result get to my dr. I'm so excited. 

Way to go!

 I have decided after 4 years of thinking about having wls I'm going to do it. My husband and his family are happy with what make me healthy and happy. My family, friends, and coworkers are voicing their opinions on how I shouldn't do it. I'm 315 lbs. and have been big for almost my whole life. I have tried it all and this is what I need to do to be healthy and happy. I guess my question is when u told everyone you were doing wls was it a negative response and how did you handle it? 

 Welcome! I haven't had surgery yet, but my surgeon has had very few complications and no deaths, so that helps ease any fear. Also, I'm going to a Center of Excellence so they do a little extra for WLS patients--accommodating your size, compassion, etc. 

As for "justifying" my decision to have surgery, I don't. I put it out there that it's a matter of life or death, and I'm not ready to die in the next 10-15 years. I'm putting my health and well-being first, which is threatening to some people in my life. They assume I should be able to lose without surgery, but honestly, if I haven't lost it by now, when am I going to? You need to surround yourself with as many people who support your decision, and cut back on those who are negative about it. You don't need them to derail your efforts because they want to sabotage you. I'd also suggest getting some therapy to deal with this. I'm actually planning to go back to therapy after surgery to help me through this next stage of life. 

Good luck!