Thoughts needed

So I just met my surgeon today. I have already been approved for surgery. My surgeon walked in and said that he has never operated on someone as "skinny" as I am. My weight started at 235 and a bmi of 41. I have worked hard since March and surpassed my mandatory 10$ or 24 pounds. As of today I am at 194.5 pounds and a bmi of 34.5. I know the surgeon was speaking "loosley" about being skinny, but he asked me why I want to do this.

My answer was that I have made this commitment to myself to see this weight thing through, that I had lost and regained many times and that I want this to be my last. I wanted to do this last step to prove and re-inforce my commitment. I know what I said doesnt come out how I really feel, but hope you can read between the lines to know what I really mean.

What do the rest of you do or feel. I dont want to have to justify my decision when people say, you have done so well this far, why are you going to do that to yourself. I know in my heart and my head that this is the answer, yes, I may have done well so far but I am not finished. I have struggled with weight my whole life. I am 55 years old and trying to take charge of my health and nip the weight in the bud before things got worse.

Just dont know how to say back off and let me make the choice. Has any other lightweight had to deal with this? Just because I am no longer morbidly obese, does it mean I should not go through with my plan. I am not second guessing this at all, just want to know your thoughts.

You have done well, but like you said, most of us had lost and gained the weight back several times.  I was my local Weigh****cher of the year many years ago, gained it all back and more.  I was 61 when I had surgery.  I knew I could probably do it on my on, maybe not to goal but I could lose a good bit, but I also knew that I was also quite likely to gain it back and I wanted my life back for good.

That being said, surgery is on your tummy, not on your head.  Anyone can out eat any surgery.  Maintenance is harder than I ever believed it would be and I can't imagine if it is this hard with surgery, it would have been pretty impossible without it.

Many folks have surgery around 35bmi.  If you are approved, and you feel it is the best for you, go for it.  We are here with you and will support you the whole way.  It isn't a magic bullet (although it will feel like it is in the beginning) but it is a tool you can use for the rest of your life.

Thanks for the reply, thank you also for the input on maintenance. I look forward to using this tool to the best of it's and my ability. My mental state is ready for this. I have had the best doctors and counselors and support system through my health plan. I am sure I will be on here a lot, when it gets closer to get more advice. I did get my endoscopy date (Jan. 5) surgery will be shortly after that. I will have a date as soon as the surgical calendar opens up at the hospital for them to schedule. 

Thanks again

You just lost 40 pounds - how do you feel about your chances for keeping it off??  Are you hungry all the time, etc?  If they are low, then surgery may be the option for you.  But it is major surgery, if you can take the rest off and keep it off, you do not want surgery. 

At 55, it is time to be rigorously honest with yourself.  Only 5% of people who take the weight off can keep it off.  Are you one of those lucky 5%??  At 57, I was able to accept that I was not and evaluate my options:

-keep gaining 5-10 pounds a year and eventually have knee replacement surgery

-do a 5 year cycle - 2 years to lose 100 pounds, 3 years to gain it back

-Get WLS and keep working on it, but with it being a little easier - know that 25% of people gain it all back, so WLS is not a guarantee for long term success.

You may have other options, but you need to identify them and sort through them.  I see nothing inherently wrong with your proceeding to WLS surgery at your current weight, but I would be telling you to investigate your options no matter what your current BMW is.

Best wishes. 

Thanks for the reply. I feel my chances are better with the surgery. I just feel in my heart that it is just that one extra level of commitment that I can use as a tool to keep me committed. I too have known people who have learned how to out eat the surgery (it makes me angry actually) my feeling is why put myself through this if I am not all in. I do not want to be someone who tests the surgery to see if I will dum*****t. I am going to assume that I will. 

I did question myself early out and thought "do I want to go through my life never eating this or that again" then I realized I am not going to eat certain things again anyway and that I would not use that as an excuse. I truly feel as though I am in that 5%. 

I appreciate the thoughts, It was good to have questions to ask myself, There has been so much thought and yes even prayer go into my decision. I believe that the doors that have been open for me are the answer.

Sounds as though you've stopped second guessing yourself.  Best wishes with your decision. 

I lost 80 lbs pre-op, from a starting BMI of 50 down to 37 on surgery day. It was the third time I'd lost the same 80 lbs. I knew I could lose weigh, but keeping it off was another story. Fortunately my surgeon was supportive, but friends and family thought I shouldn't need surgery at that point. When they'd point out how much I'd lost, I'd say basically the same thing you told your surgeon -- that's great, but I've lost the same amount twice before, and I'd like an extra tool to maybe help it actually stick this time.

One other thing to consider -- what weight (your initial appointment, surgery day, some other set point, etc.) does your insurance company use to determine surgery eligibility? Mine went by your weight the morning of surgery in just a hospital gown, and when I was losing pre-op, the clinic staff warned me they'd had people check in for surgery before who had to be sent home because their BMI dropped below the threshold at which their insurance would cover it. I came 12 lbs away from disqualifying myself, and I would have if my diabetes didn't "allow" me to qualify at a BMI of 35 instead of 40. I certainly hope my insurance is the exception, but it might be worth looking into just in case.

Thank you for the reply. I started to process in March and that is what they go by for approval. My insurance has a program that I have to be qualified to take part in. It is a 20 month program that I go to each Tuesday. I also have 1 conjoint visit a month with my provider and also health coach and then a appointment each month with a nutritionist. My plan has their own intense screening and approval system I had to pass and be a part of even before I was approved and set up with a surgeon appointment. I was approved at 198 pounds. I will be weighed prior to surgery for the surgeon himself because if he feels as though you celebrated with a "last Meal" he will cancel right then and there. My health center staff has been amazing and said that when they presented my case they would fight for it if need be but they didnt have too. I feel so blessed for that.

My surgeon has been really respectful of my desire for surgery and a healthier life. It's some of my friends who seem to think I could do this without surgery. My reply to them? If I thought I could have, I would have by now. 

Some of the "but you're not THAT fat" comments are really insensitive.

My starting story was similar to yours. I had a bmi of 41 and I was 56 years old when I decided to to have surgery.  Lost and regained all the weight - plus plus - several times.  While taking weight off was hard, keeping it off proved impossible for me without surgery.  Things are so much better now!  All the best to you.