I feel like I am stuck. I have been married to a great man for three years now he has supported me so mug through all of this but I don't feel the way I did before about lie marriage. Before surgery I was severally depressed not only has surgery help me with my weight but it has help me feel ...free. like my weight is no longer holding me back I don't need to depend on anyone I can have a life and be Happy but how do explain this I'm not even sure I'm explaining it correctly now. All I know is I don't want to be married anymore. Any advice?
I think you need to see a counselor. You can figure out if you do still love this man, why you married him in the first place, and if you can work through the changes to save the marriage or not.
You have changed a lot, obviously... but change is OK, and two people can work through that together if you get help in that arena.
Good luck. Marriage isn't easy, it takes work on both sides.
51yo Height 5'5" HW 260 SW 251 CW 147.4
RNY 5-16-16 Pre-Op 9lbs, M1-18.5lbs, M2-18.1lbs, M3-14.8lbs, M4-10.4lbs, M5-9.2lbs, M6-7lbs, M7-6.2lbs, M8-8.8lbs,M9-7.8lbs, M10-1 lb, M11-.6lbs
I had my WLS in 2010 and filed for divorce later that year after 25 years of being with the same man. We had it all...beautiful home, great jobs, cars, 2 kids and what appeared to be the American dream.
While in my post-op phase I went to see my doctor and told him how I was feeling like a million bucks in my new-found life. We got into the subject of my marriage and I told him I had been unhappy before the WLS and thought that the depression from being overweight was the cause of my marriage issues. He told me that he felt sometimes people just accept their lives as they are and settle. I had never looked at it that way, but as I started to re-think my reasons for being in my marriage, I honestly came to the conclusion that I was settling. In my head, who would want me fat? Who would want me with 2 kids? How would I survive without him being single after being married half my life? The list goes on. Of course, he went nuts when I asked for a divorce, scared me with his erratic behavior and threats (which made me lose even more weight!) but in the end, everything worked out. Been divorced 6 years now and we're friends, parent our kids and bugs me just as much as when we were married. Your new found confidence and mindset will lead the way and you'll be fine whatever option you choose.