ObesityHelp

One of surprising things I learned about myself through my WLS experience was the astounding, nearly crippling mistrust I harbored for my own body. This mistrust took years to develop. As a morbidly obese child I was made painfully aware that my body was not only unlike that of my peers, it was also somehow 'wrong,' 'abhorrent,' 'flawed.' In a 'chicken-or-the-egg' scenerio, accumulated weight result in less physcial activity which resulted in accumulated weight, which...you understand. Moving confidently and gracefully requires practice. When that practice is preempted, an overall lethargy and innate clumsiness set in for me. I stopped trusting that my body could do things I hadn't tried before. I stopped running. I stopped dancing. I stopped moving, except when absolutely necessery. Then there was the fact that no matter what 'guarranteed' or 'can't-miss' diet plan I subscribed to during my tenure as an obese person, they simply did not work -- further inpacting my trust. I remember standing in my bathroom at 470 pounds, staring into the eyes of a reflection I barely recognized seriously agonizing over 'how I'd become this?' 'when and why had this happened?' and with each ache and pain which cumulated in an inability to walk a city block though I was still under 30, each painful social situation, each time i felt myself out of breath i remember wondering why my body had betrayed me. Naturally, my body hadn't betrayed me. There was a miscommunication between my mind and my body -- in fact, there was no communication at all. Each flew off in different directions, trying to procure what each thought was required, never once undrestanding that both had the same goal -- merely different approaches. Yoga has afforded me an opportunity to bring both body and mind, and eventually spirit, into the same arena -- instead of pitting one against the other in a search for physical health, emotional comfort and spiritual security, yoga continues to teach me ways of bringing the three together as one to pursue and achieve these goals in highly beneficial and efficient manner. And for someone who didn't see his feet for most of his adult life, swinging gracefully into handstand or pushing up into upward bow is like reaffirmation of how far a little trust in one's body can go. Namaste, BrianClt