Thursday, May 26th

     Up early west coast time, still in an east coast body. My trip out was long but fabulous !!! I have never flown as a small person. What a joy ! The euphoria I felt having extra seat space (and leg space with no butt) and the need to sit on a pillow to cushion my butt... priceless !!

     Plan on lots of walking today. My daughter joins me tomorrow.  Why is watching the sun set over the Pacific just a tiny bit more exciting than watching it rise over the Atlantic ?

128.4. 1548 total calories yesterday, 233 from "junk". 148 G carbs, 53 G Fats, 155 G protein. Did 45 minutes on the treadmill 4.0 mph at 7% grade. No steps  recorded - I left my FitBit plugged into the charger before work. Felt lost all day without it!

Happy Thursday everyone! Long weekend ahead!

Welcome to the bestcoast, DianeO!  I am joyous for you regarding the extra space in those airline seats.  The other day I was booking a flight and CHOSE a middle seat that was available in the front of the plane rather than an aisle seat in the back.  The middle seat, no problem!

Paula, sometimes I feel like I am just following you around, but just a few hours later because of the time change.  I, too, left my fitbit on the charger yesterday! 

122.8 this morning.

Holiday weekend looming!  MUST BE PRODUCTIVE.  My hope for productivity rises every morning with the sun.

Have a fab day, my peeps,

Shel

Happy 6 year surgiversary to meeeeeee!!!  I'll try to be brief (ish) and save my long digressions for my blog.  I'll let you know when that is updated in case you're interested.

156 today.  

Initial response is that I'm not terribly pleased by that number today.  Last year on my surgiversary I was 154.6, and I had hoped to at least meet that again.  And my primary goal was to be my 18 month post-op weight of 151.6 or therabouts.  

Buuuuut there is so much more POSITIVE in my story, so I'll focus on that today instead.  6 years ago today I had really cold feet.  I was very tempted to back out.  I had never had general anesthesia before.  I thought maybe I should give it another shot to lose the weight on my own.  And my life, and health were pretty good--why was I taking any chances?!  I'm so glad that I quieted those voices and went through with surgery.  Today I stand in this picture 121lbs. lighter than I was 6 years ago.  And I'm less than 4lbs. from my 18 mo. post op weight.  

It was the best decision I've ever made, hands down.  It was the best money I've ever spent, bar none.  I would beg, borrow, and steal to get it done if I had to do it over again.  And if I ever needed the surgery again, I would do that too.  I look at the surgery as a life saving and life altering procedure.  Living life at a normal weight has allowed me to be the person I always wanted to be.  It's literally a weight off my chest.  I get to wear the clothes I want to wear, I can be who I want to be without feeling the need to compensate for my weight (ie being the "funny fat girl"), I can go to a movie theater or a Thunder Game (Whoop Whoop Thunder Up baby.  Wearin' my Blue tonight!) without anxiety over whether I can sit in the seats.  And, yes, it allows people to get a chance to know me before making a snap judgment on the basis of weight.  So I guess after all this time I can say I'm not a better person, I'm just the best version of myself.  The one pre-surgery me wanted to be, but felt I could not.  

At 6 years out, my pre-surgery memory has faded some.  That's good and bad.  I sometimes forget the day-to-day struggles I faced at 277lbs.  I forget how my thighs rubbed together raw, often times rubbing the inner-thigh material of my jeans down to bear threads.  I forget how my pants rolled down under the weight of my gut.  I forget how uncomfortable and self-conscious I felt in my body all the time.  I now love being able to cross my legs.  That is probably the best part of the whole thing.  Worth the cost of surgery right there :)  I love being able to wear boots in the winter.  To dress according to my style and not just one dinky little rack of plus-sized clothing.  I love that my sleeve has given me reinforcements to fight off food cravings and overeating when I'm feeling especially vulnerable.  I love that I have a fighting chance now.

I've experienced so many wonderful things in the past 6 years that I'm not sure I would have otherwise.  I've gone gokarting and horseback riding, traveled, graduated with my law degree and passed the bar.  I've gotten married, hosted pool parties.  In short, I've lived.  The surgery took away the physical limitations of obesity, but maybe more importantly the emotional limitations.

The maintenance game also got a lot harder this year.  I think it might have normally occurred after 4 years, but I was so focused on slimming down for my wedding 2 years ago that I didn't pay much attention.  Before this past year, I had struck a magical balance where I could essentially eat what I liked and maintain my weight.  It was glorious, no lie.  I wi**** could be like that for everyone.  And the moment they figure out a drug that will enable me to do that again, you can be I'll be the first in line.  Unfortunately, I think it's going to take work.  Like...a lot of work.  But for now I'm still up for the challenge.  I've always done it "my way," and although I regained a few pounds this year, I actually think I'm better for it.  I've faced regain, and I know how to combat it.  And I will still never swear off carbs or sweets, or ANY food group.  I love food and I always have and think I always will.  I intend to use that to my advantage rather than fighting it.  One of the great benefits of weightloss has been that I am now far more social than I was before.  I have no intention of hiding from food, and in doing so becoming a hermit.  I still believe that balance is possible, even for the formerly obese.  After 5 years of maintenance, I still consider myself a success, especially since I have never entirely eliminated one food group or the other.  Only time will tell, and I understand everyone needs to do what is best for him or herself. 

In closing, I'm very happy and very grateful for this surgery and for the experiences it has afforded me.  I will never think I'm incapable of regain--I've seen it too often to think that.  But I will believe that I have the tools and the ability to maintain this lifestyle and tweak where necessary.  Sometimes identifying your successes is every bit as important as identifying your weaknesses.

That is a picture of success if I ever saw one! Congrats on 6 years!

Congratulations Bonnie!!!

Happy Surgiversary!!!! 6 years of success should be celebrated! I believe, too, that balance is possible. I just think that everyone's balance is different. We have to find what works for us individually. There is no one plan fits all when it comes to maintenance. I love that you're focusing on your choices now, too. Such a positive twist on your work. 

You are STUNNING!  Thank you for a wonderful, encouraging post on your surgiversary. Congratulations! 

One thing you said in your post really hit home for me.  When I was 240 pounds I NEVER wore dresses unless I had to for a wedding or funeral, because my thighs rubbed together and could be very painful at times, especially in the summer.  Now that I'm a normal weight I wear dresses all the time!  I love them!  I never had any pain anymore from thigh rub, and VSG did all of this for me.  

It's fantastic that you are still doing so well 6 years after your surgery.  I'm not yet a year, and can't wait to be writing a post like yours in a little more than 5 years from now.  

One other thing really quickly--now that my goal date has come I am really tempted to completely break my diet.  This is why I HATE diets--because of the dieting mentality that comes along with it.  I've been dreaming of a deep dish pizza!  I actually want to overeat it.  I do, on occasion, share one of these pizzas with my husband, and have 1, maybe 1 1/2 pieces.  So I'm trying to talk myself down from the ledge today and back into the thinking that there's nothing "wrong" about having a slice of pizza.  And that I need to stop labeling foods like this.  I will probably have my slice of pizza while watching the Thunder game.  And then I'll go on vacation and try to make good choices.  I've been fairly successful at this before, just needed to retune it.  

Good morning folks!  I'm back at work today, though still not feeling wonderful.  No more fever and the congestion is strating to loosen up a little, so I am definitely on the mend.

Weight was down about 3 lbs. today, for which I'm grateful.  One victory during this time of being ill is that being sick has always been a trigger for me to eat comfort foods and over do.  This time, my eating was where it should be.  Phew!

Diane, sounds like you're having fun!

Paula and Shel, you both inspire me with all of the physical activity you do.  I need to take that inspiration and turn it into action!!

Have a greaqt Thursday!

Hugs, Mary