Wednesday, July 13th

125.4. Back to work today! I did take a walk outside yesterday - hot and humid. Need to go back to Maui to cool off with those sweet trade wind breezes!

Happy hump day my friends!

Morning 

Ocean how are you doing?   

Sugar monster quelled again yesterday so that was the first sugar free day after ' the blip'

knee continues to give grief but did 9, 674 steps, much of it while groaning.   Exercises are working but of course want it to be effective NOW.

we are doing this, one ' I don't want/need to eat/ drink this'  at a time.     Carrying onwards.

156.8#  I'm on my way to a session with my trainer.  My house cleaning fairies are doing their magic so I'll come back to a clean house.  Yay!

Anxiety. Panic. Frustration.  Almost wish I was staying home next week as not to disrupt my routine.  Silly, eh! I lost this weight to live.  Just knowing the scale will go up even if I'm careful sends me into an internal frenzy.  I will get past this.  Just having another moment.  I think part of my issue is my back has been hurting and its down both arms. This has lasted for a few days and that wears on me so negative thoughts slip in.  I'm going in today for an adjustment.  That should help.  

Andy very frustrated this morning, too with the number on the scale.  I should listen to my own encouraging words for him.  lol

In the big picture, all is well in my world.  I'm healthy.  I'm happy. I have everything I need.  

Hoping Diane is feeling better and we hear from you soon!

Lorna...you are missed.  We're thinking about you.  Come back when you are able.

Mary and Bonnie...how are you both doing?

Devon...you are not alone...Believe Me!!!

Linda..Love the photos pf you and Rob!

Shel and Paula...welcome home!  Thanks for sharing your journeys.

Joey...you're an inspiration ...love the swimsuit story!

Cappy..glad you joined us!

That what I'm remembering today!

Love to all!!!  

When MO, I wanted to skip food events (never mind that I had many private food events) and now in maintenance I still want to skip food events.  I started fretting about most recent vacation when I booked the RV back in Feb.  I went thru a lot of stages of how I thought I would manage it, most of it disordered.

My personal strategy is to change the overall paradigm.  I focused on vacation as being practice, not something that I am supposed to be perfect at.  (Long ago, I was a pretty good piano player so in my mind I am thinking about mastering a piano piece.)

Practice never made me perfect, but it did eventually bring muscle memory on board which took care of the majority of the piano piece so I then just focused on the very hardest sections.  I am hoping that with every vacation (as frequently as possible!) I will fret a little less. 

I know you already have a lot of great structure/practice in place....you can/will figure out the hardest sections.  I know you know that --- it is the stupid old tapes that sneak in that make us doubt. 

You are going to have a great trip! Enjoy! 

Thank you for keeping things in perspective.  I'm so glad to have peeps who understand!  I know it will all be fine!!!  

Great analogy Shel!

I'm looking at that glaring 156.8 and can't help but thinking, YOU GO, GIRL! So proud of all your hard work. 

Try not to fret about your upcoming vacation. Remember, life is not static. During your vacation you will make choices. That's all they will be. They will be neither good, nor bad - just choices. You get to decide whether your choices will support weight loss, weight maintenance, or weight gain. 

I'm very good at living in the vacation moment, so I always anticipate a gain. It is very rare that I come home within a pound or two of my departing weight. I have noticed that IFFFFF I pre decide how much gain is okay, I generally am able to get my eating to follow that decision. If I say 2 pounds for the long weekend, it's usually 2 pounds. If I say 5 pounds for the entire week and two 5-6 hour flights, that's usually what it is. I've never really been okay with saying "I will gain no weight during vacation." When I do, it back fires and I end up binging. 

Just my thoughts. 

I know I will have a gain.  I just need to accept it and then get right back on program when I get home.  I just don't want to undo all my hard work. I can look at food and gain.  I'm just pissy because I can't go on vacation and not gain...lol. I do have some strategies in place and will try to adhere to them.  I know I will have the jalapeño cheddar toast but I can do without the holandaise sauce I usually get on my omelet...lol  I can also concede to not buy cookies from the bakery and just have a glass of wine at "tea time" which happens at 4pm everyday on the deck.  Evenings will not be a chip fest. I am buying fruits, veggies and prptein for night time.  Rationally, I know it is what it is. Being able to discuss it with those who understand is priceless.  So, Thank You!!!  Oh!  And, I will walk everyday and/or do yoga!  

 122.3 this morning.  

Post dinner eating was aok last night, that makes 2 days!  (I'm trying Carbon's strategy of counting the days.)  I'm not necessarily trying to fast after dinner --- I had several cherries a couple hours after dinner.   But, if I eat, I want it to be mindful and deliberate and enjoyoable; not the chaotic kitchen drive bys that satisfy nothing.

My post-op recliner rental arrived yesterday.  It lifts, it reclines, it can be a bed.  Just sitting in it makes me feel like an invalid. 

Somewhere, there is a part of me that thinks I should lose weight before Monday's surgery.  My rational self doesn't believe that at all.  If anything, my recent Dexa assures me that I don't need, or even want, to lose any weight.  I know this for sure.  But, disordered whispers find their way into my mind.  Very odd. 

Be less odd than me, my friends! 

Shel

Happy Hump Day !!!  I have been promised... discharge tomorrow come hell or high water. I've had several triple digit systolic BP readings and only one dip into the 70s, requiring a bolus of fluids. Fever is totally gone, and swelling continues to resolve. I'm on 40 mg. water pill and am totally off Morphine and shifting to Keflex for my anti-biotic.  I will have my first consult with my lymphedema team on Friday. Looking forward to my first lymphatic draining massage.

Not sure how to handle the scale. I know I shouldn't go near it for a week, but knowing the number will be helpful with several dosings. I miss my Sadie !!!  All of your pictures and updates have helped keep me sane.

Thanks for being such a wonderful family !!!

Diane