Get real with myself

I just keep going over in my head if i want this Lap band  or not . I seem to be obsessed about it  all ....like that's something new for me . I did do well at the grocery store today & ate well also, i bought alot of sf things . Foods i should be eating anyway after all. I am DIABETIC there i said it.......  how long can one stay in denial about such a life threatining disease? I also got an eye opener AGAIN at the Ortho Dr today it's lose weight get in shape or else ....i dont want the or else surgery AGAIN. Thats all for now more ramblings later