This past weekend I had a chance to meet a lot of OH/TMB members.  They are just as friendly and fantastic in person as they are on the site and I am blessed to have them in my life.  I just wish some of them lived a little closer.  :)

While we were together we started talking about how WLS has changed how we view ourselves.  I was astounded to hear that even those who had surgery years ago, had successful plastic surgery and were maintaining in tiny sizes 3-10, had the same distorted self image as I do.  They still look in the mirror and see their larger self. 

It is hard to see the changes in ourselves.  It is hard to believe the changes, too.  I've fought my weight for so long it seems normal to be overweight and when I look in the mirror I have an expectation of what should be there.  I even have a problem seeing the difference in pictures.  It is only when I see pictures side by side that I can tell some small differences. 

It is not an optical issue, but a mental issue.  I've seen, heard and believed the negative for so long that now something positive is happening and I can't see it.  I think this is why I sometimes get discouraged in my progress. 

The mirror lies.  The scale can be evil and shows no lost weight when my jeans are falling down.  So how do I measure success?  I don't know the answer to that and I think that is why in the past when I would get to a juncture in the road like this I would set new goals - some where I could define and measure success.  I signed up for and ran 5Ks, 10Ks, Half marathons and then the Chicago Marathon.  While physically demanding they were easy goals on the psyche.  I could measure distance, heart rate and speed and know that I was successful when I crossed the finish line, when I ran faster, when my resting heart rate dropped or when I just ran farther than I had ever done before. 

So, how am I going to measure success this time?  I need to define success, set goals, measure results and "see the difference."  I've got spreadsheets, charts, graphs, my GPS and a journal all going on right now.  I'm plotting, tracking and color coding.  Can success be found in such a manner or is it only internal?  I wonder if Oprah, Trump or Lance Armstrong would take a meeting or schedule an online chat.  If not I guess I am on my own to ponder.