- HEALTH TRACKER
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D. Blaine Nease, M.D. F.A.C.S.
Before I met Dr. Nease I was thinking to myself, ah yes, another doctor to make me feel bad about myself and my inability to lose weight. Of course after I met him, that all changed. From the first phone call to his office and talking to his office staff to actually meeting him for my initial office visit and then several days later attending one of his seminars, I quickly realized this was no ordinary doctor.
To begin with his staff was unbelievable. They were so nice and caring and helpful. Not like the other doctors I had interviewed in the past who do this procedure. With the other offices, I felt like just another patient with questions, who was taking up their time. But with Dr. Nease's staff, there was no question that was insignificant to them. I never felt "dismissed" by the staff.
And then there is Dr. Nease himself. I have never met someone so caring and dedicated to his patients. You never feel that he entered into this profession because he wanted to make lots of money. He has such a genuine care for his patients. I know I have always been made to feel special, which is what everyone I've met who is his patient says. He makes everyone feel special and important. He just cares so much about helping people battle this disease of obesity.
Additionally, he's so thorough in his explanation of the procedure and what you will go through as well as what risks you could face. He leaves nothing to the imagination. And you never feel rushed. He will take all the time with you that you need. His devotion to his patients does not end once the surgery has been completed either. He stresses the importance of joining the support group and I must say, that support group has become like a family. And again, if there are questions that come up down the road, you just have to call his office and someone will be able to help you even if it is just to calm your nerves. I still go into his office once per month for follow-up.
His skill and comptetence as a surgeon, as far as I'm concerned are unmatched. With the other doctors I had interviewed, they made it very clear to me that there was no way they would even attempt to perform my procedure laproscopically. My weight was 410 pounds and they just wouldn't do it. Dr. Nease said, he couldn't promise me a lap procedure, but he said he'd try his best to accomplish it and he did. I was healed, healthy and back to work in two weeks.
So in summary would I recommend Dr. Nease...unequivocally YES. As I tell people now, my parents gave me life. Dr. Nease gave me back my life. I'll never be able to thank him enough. My surgery was May 11, 2004 and as of today, August 25, 2004 I have lost 73 pounds.
Latest Surgery Support Comments
After 3 years of soul searching as to whether or not to go through with this surgery, after meeting Dr. Blaine Nease, my mind was completely made up to go ahead with it. His confidence and enthusiasm are contagious. His staff is very helpful.
My surgery is tentatively scheduled for May 11, 2004. We are just waiting for final approval from the insurance company. I have chosen to use the HMO portion of my insurance plan and am the first patient referred to Dr. Nease by my medical group, Prospect Medical. The waiting is excrutiating.
August 25, 2004: Haven't posted to this in a long time. Had my surgery May 11, 2004. Lap procedure with no complications. I was back at work in 2 weeks. A bit tired however, but back nonetheless. As of today, I have so far lost 73 pounds, am off all my medications and am feeling fabulous. I'm like a new person already.
September 16, 2004: Today I had my final visit with Dr. Nease. He's leaving Southern California to return back east where he started. Our loss is certainly their gain. There was so much today I wanted to say to him but knew I wouldn't be able to express all my gratitude and thanks to him without becoming a sobbing heap. Some of these emotions I don't even understand myself. I keep telling myself, he's just a doctor. It's not like my long lost relative is leaving. But then I realize that Dr. Nease is so much more than just a doctor. His knowledge, his skill and his huge heart have given me back my life. How do you say goodbye to someone who has done that for you? I feel as though I'm losing a part of myself. But it's okay actually, because the reality is that I'm feeling all these emotions and not turning to food as I would have in the past. I would have stuffed all these feelings deep into the pit of my stomach and covered them with Twinkies. Now I just let the feelings come. They won't kill me. It's okay to hurt sometimes. It's how we deal with the hurts that matter. Dr. Nease has given me the tool and the confidence to face everyday. I will never be able to thank him enough for all that he was done for me. I wish him and his family a safe trip home and may he find complete fulfillment as he takes on this new endevour. God bless you Dr. Nease and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Also, as of today, September 16, 2004, 4 months post-op I have lost 85 pounds.
October 24, 2004: Well I thought it was time for an update. So far I'm doing ok with no doctor anymore. Sometimes I get really upset about it, it's that old abandonment issue I've always dealt with. Food itself is much easier now. I can pretty much eat anything although pasta, rice and soft breads still don't work too well. And I'm happy to say I still haven't gotten into sugar. That one really makes me happy. I added in apples though this week and that has become a special treat for me. On the home front, well things I suppose could be better there. My husband tries to be supportive, but I'm evolving into a new me internally and not just externally and I think that is hard for him to deal with on some level. I'm hoping things will get better there. I'm looking forward to next weekend and the LA Convention. I'm hoping to meet alot of new people. Life is getting better and better everyday. As of today I have lost 110 pounds.
November 8, 2004: Well I'm seem to be holding at 110 down. I know I haven't been doing everything I'm supposed to do. I haven't been getting all my protein in and I haven't been getting all my water in. Worst of all, I'm drinking with my meals. So, as of now I'm going back to basics. One good thing, I have pretty much given up the Diet Cokes. I know I shouldn't have been having them, but they were my "vice". I'm done with them. This week it's Sugar Free Kool Aid....no more carbonation. I've bought lots of protein supplements and am doing much better with those and I'm eliminating carbs. Let's see if this shakes things up. I sure hope so. It would be awfully horrible to think after only 6 months that is it for me. I'm not going to let that happen. I've got this tool and I'm going to use it.
November 16 - Hurrah....the scale has moved. Pushing the protein and water has worked. I'm now down 112 pounds. Not a huge additional loss, but it's a start off this plateau, which was really beginning to bug me. The picture below was taken at the OH convention. This is the first picture I've allowed taken of me in alot of years.
December 7, 2004 - Well, it's been a few weeks and my 7 month anniversary is coming up. It's been a great few weeks. The exercise, additional water drinking and eating more protein is really paying off. I'm so thrilled to see the scale move again.
Took a major step in my journey this past weekend. I went on a long weekend vacation by myself to MD to visit a friend. I've never liked flying and especially when I was weighing in over 300 and 400 pounds, flying was uncomfortable and humiliating to say the least. I would never travel without my husband so that at least he was the only one I had to sit next to. Well part of my self discovery was my weekend away. I actually got on the planes and fit in the seats. Then the weekend itself was amazing. Did alot of shopping and bought some really nice clothes. Even though I'm still having to go to the large size stores/departments at least I can buy clothes in stores now and not just from online sites that carry supersize clothing.
Everyday is becoming a new adventure to me. I'm loving life again because now I have a life to love. As of today, I've lost 118 pounds!!!!!
January 17, 2005 - Well it's a new year and a new me. Although I do have to admit it's starting to get harder. What I mean is that some of the old cravings are coming back and it's a mental challenge to stay on course. I'm still afraid of sugar, as I have dumped in the past, so I'm not abusing sugar, but I have had a full sugar cookie here and there. Fortunately, I still am dilligent about reading labels for all those hidden sugars that come in packaged foods. And then there are the other carbs that make up the bread group. Those are really hard for me. It's truly like an addiction. No different than alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. It is going to take all my resolve not to give in to that devil that sits on my shoulder and tells me to go ahead and eat those things that have brought me "comfort" my whole life. The reality, of course, is that they didn't comfort me at all. They made my life hell and that is what I must remember. I can never allow myself to go back to those old destructive patterns. But some days it's so hard. Some days I just want to be able to eat like what I perceive as being a normal person. Of course there was nothing normal about my old eating habits. They were the abnormal eating. I have to remind myself of that. I have to stay strong and not get discouraged.
I made reservations last week for a cruise in May. It will be my 1 year anniversary since surgery and my husband and I are sailing to Mexico. I have always wanted to take a cruise but knew I was too big for one. From what I had heard the bathroom facilities on cruise ships are not made for people over 300 pounds and certainly not over 400 pounds. Well it's time for me to go cruising and I can't wait. It's my little reward to myself for a job well done. I can't wait.
Life is finally starting to be lived and I'm enjoying every moment. As of today, I've lost 125.5 pounds.
February 21, 2005
Time for another update. I'm just over 9 months out now and physically feeling so fabulous. Sometimes I have to take a double take when I walk past a mirror or even store window to be sure it's actually me. And can we say, high heels. I'm wearing high heels again. I haven't done that for so long. I realized this past weekend that besides feeling bones in my neck again, I actually found my hip bones. That was so strange. At first I thought I had some kind of growth, but then realized it was the same feeling on the other side. On the down side, I realized I'm going to have some major skin issues when this is all over with, but I'm not dwelling on it. I'm going to just deal with it all when the time comes to deal with it. Right now I've got to keep my concentration focused on eating right. Exercise at the moment is not my top priority, which I know it should be. But it's tax season and work is all consuming right now. April 15th will be here and I can get back into my routine again.
There is so much I'm learning each and every day about myself and what makes me want food and what food used to do for me. For so long I tried to fill a void inside of me with food. I couldn't get enough in to fill my stomach. It always felt empty. Well I know it wasn't exactly my stomach that was empty. It was my heart. Even with all those around me who loved me, my heart was aching for something I didn't even know I was missing. I was missing myself. I don't know if that makes sense, but having finally started to gain control of the "food demons" I can see that now. And I never want to lose sight of me again. I'm worth this journey I'm taking and I will eventually get to my goal even though it seems so far away. But I have a mission and I'm going to do this.
As of today, I have lost 135 pounds!! Over half way there. Only 115 more to go.
April 1, 2005....April Fool's Day but not feeling foolish. Feeling really good. Really happy and moving along in this wonderful journey. Had a bad food day or two over the past month, but I'm actually ok with that. I'm ok with it because while I did make some bad choices, I didn't let it consume me and I got right back on track. That was a darn good feeling. I am starting to have some skin issues that are really bugging me, but I have a ways to go before I can even consider plastics, so I'll just learn to live with the skin until it can be taken care.
Life is good!!!
As of today, almost 11 months out, I've lost 150 pounds
April 11, 2005....Well I decided to post today because it is 11 months today since surgery. It's been an amazing 11 months of weight loss but more important of discovery. Often a confusing time and wondering why I made some of the choices in my life before and now. In addition, wondering what the future has to offer for me. I'm so close to being a normal size now. Still in plus size clothes, but getting closer to normal. That is a strange feeling for me. Having been super super morbidly obese for the past 21 years and now having been released from my self imposed prison, I feel free to fly for the first time. The sad part is that people who I love will probably get hurt along the way and I don't think there is alot I can do about it. I want to experience all that life has to offer me. As this ride continues for the next year and I get closer to my weight goal, I feel as though I have no limitations on what I can do and who I can be. I want to experience life to the fullest. I can finally do that.
To those I have met along the way and taken to my heart, I can only say thank you for showing me how to find me.
As of today, I have lost 151 pounds.
MAY 11, 2005
Well, I made it. It's officially one year today since my surgery. What an amazing year this has been. It's been a year of discovery for sure; of re-evaluation of my life. Some parts have been wonderful, some I could have lived without. But none of it would I have changed.
One year ago today I weighed 410 pounds. I had out of control high blood pressure, severe asthma, joint pain, bladder pain, severe sleep apnea, just to tick off a few of the problems. Basically I was dying very slowly and very painfully.
Now one year later, I'm healthy. I'm incrediably healthy.
I have forged some amazing friendships. I've looked at my life and questioned many of the decisions I made for my life when I weighed 410 pounds. I've learned to make food my friend and not my enemy by learning to be in control of the food as opposed to having the food control me. I've learned, dealt with, accepted and packed away the reasons for my out of control eating. While it's true, genetically I was probably destined to become overweight, it was eating that got me to 410 pounds. Once the food was taken away, I was forced to face my demons head on and deal with them all one at a time. I couldn't, can't and won't ever again try to numb any of my emotions with food. Twinkies will NOT make the pain go away. But the amazing thing is, the pain won't kill me. I have just learned to deal with it in a different fashion.
I still have nearly 80 pounds to lose and hope to do that over the next year. I know that the end of the honeymoon period for WLS is approaching and to continue losing weight will take alot more work on my part. But I have the tools (my pouch and my control) to make it all come together and be successful.
And now here I am about to start a new chapter of life. My weight loss gave me the confidence to go out and find a new job and then the self esteem to ask for the salary and benefits that were rightfully due me. All of my requests were met with no questions asked. So as I start year two of this amazing journey, I will be moving on to a new job in a new state. I leave behind CA, but not the friendships and love I have found from many. Those that have been taken to my heart will always find their place there, no matter where I am. To one person in particular, your place in my heart will forever be there. Always know that I love you.
As of today, May 11, 2005 I have lost 161 pounds.
June 6, 2005: Well I'm posting a little early this month as my life is about to change and I may not get the chance on Saturday which will be my 13 month anniversary.
I have taken the bold step of deciding to move. I've thought about it for so long but was just too insecure to think about actually doing it. Before my surgery I was convinced, that despite my knowledge and expertise in the accounting field, no firm would hire me because of my appearance. About a month ago I decided to take the plunge of job searching and see what happened. Lo and behold I received several offers of employment and the choice became mine. I have chosen to take a job with a firm in Las Vegas and Wednesday is moving day.
I'm so excited about this new chapter in my life. There are sadnesses associated with moving, but also great joy. First and foremost, I'm leaving my son here in California. That is the most difficult thing for me. He's 21 years old and it is time for him to be on his own. He has taken an apartment in OC with his girlfriend and they are moving on Saturday. At least being in Las Vegas I will only be a quick plane or car ride away. I can see him whenever I feel the need or he does. I think he'll be fine though. My job of getting him to be "grown up" is done. I've either succeded in instilling in him good values and common sense or I haven't. I like to think I've done a good job. I think I have. He's a great kid.
My second sadness is the friends I'm leaving behind. I've forged some amazing friendships over this past year and leaving these people will be so hard. But again, I can visit and I do expect my guest room to be quite busy. Afterall, I'm in Las Vegas. Who doesn't want to visit Las Vegas.
On the positive side, this job is an amazing opportunity to grow in my career. I'm looking forward to the challenges it offers me. And I will finally be able to buy a house again. Something that as eluded me for the last 5 years of living in CA. I had sold all my properties in FL when moving here and the home prices here, especially in Orange County, are so out of control I was never willing to make myself mortgage poor to get into a house. Now my home ownership dream will become a reality again.
13 months ago, I never would have tried to do any of this. I would have stayed in a dead end job because I was morbidly obese and the rest of the world only looked at my body image as opposed to the brain encased in the huge body. Now I'm free of the constraints that old body of fat put on me. I'm free to soar and reach for the stars. I'm free to be free. It's liberating and empowering. I can't wait to start my new life.
As of today, June 6, 2005, I have lost 169 pounds.
JULY 11, 2005
WOW - 14 months ago today I had surgery. It seems amazing to me how my life has changed in so short a period of time. New job, new city & state, and soon a new house. Yup...I'm finally buying a house. It's not built yet but should be ready for occupany by March/April. I've definitely had my emotional ups and downs lately, but most days are so good. I love getting dressed in the morning. Deciding what cute outfit to wear for a new day. It's fun! I put on a pretty, silky skirt, a nice blouse, some heels and I'm good to go.
so, I love living in the land of make believe...Las Vegas. There is always something to do here. I love going down to the strip on Saturday night and just walk around and seeing everything I've not been able to see on foot for years. It's a new experience to be able to walk up and down and all over. Nothing hurts, I can breath and I enjoy myself and my life.
Who would have thought I could be so happy. As of today, I've lost 180 pounds. WOW....180 POUNDS GONE FOREVER!!!!!!!! I love saying that!!
AUGUST 5, 2005
So today I write as I approach 15 months since surgery. I've come here often over these months to put down my feelings and maybe, hopefully, give someone else some encouragement. The fact that I come here this evening with a heavy heart is very sad for me. But I must do what I must do and that would be seperating myself from everything OH and the people who frequent this site.
I've spent my entire life obese. I was always the outsider. Always the girl who was made fun of and ridiculed. I thought as an adult that would stop. But as a morbidly obese adult it just continued on and on. And so on May 11, 2004 I finally did something about it. I had WLS. The me that was hidden under all the fat slowly emerged. I found this site and met alot of people and thought for once here are people who understand where I'm coming from. Unfortunately I was wrong. What I found for the most part were alot of shallow, nasty people. And again, I was on the outside looking in. I tried to make friends and while I have made some wonderful friendships, the "popularity contest" that goes on here to the highest bidder is so distasteful to me that I will not be a part of it.
There are some people on here who are so evil and mentally ill and other's who just don't see that but who are easily bought. I will have no part of that. I shall move past this place and other supposed support networks and find people who share my thirst for calmness, peace, tranquility and who possess maturity as opposed to still acting like they are in high school trying to steal the cheerleaders boyfriend who is captain of the football team. How sad that as we shed our fat suits and give up our addiction to food some forget where they came from. Or maybe the thin person who was waiting inside to get out, just wasn't a very nice person afterall.
I shall continue on my journey as I'm not yet at my goal. There are still about 60 pounds to lose and some plastic surgery to be had. But I have friends and family who support me and that is what I must always remember. I just need to click my heels three times and say and remember, there is no place like home. So, as a very wise friend often says, I'm taking my ball, clicking my heels and going home.
My final weight check for this place is a total loss to date of 187 pounds. I'm proud of that. I'm proud of myself. And though other's don't like me or choose to listen to the sick people say what an awful person I am when they don't even know me, I like me. Those that I surround myself with like me. And in the big picture, that's all that matters. THIS place and those that are too self absorbed to see the forest for the trees don't matter.
So I say goodbye.
SEPTEMBER 13, 2005
Ok, so I know I said goodbye last month and I really meant it at the time. There was just so much negativity here and so many people who do not have the best interests of others at heart but only want to put themselves in a spotlight at the expense of others. That is so very sad to me. So I spent the last month, lurking on the boards and privately emailing people I wanted to correspond with. I did miss not publically talking to anyone.
The one thing I really learned this past month was how important support is to this journey. Before moving to Las Vegas I had my in person support group twice a month. I almost never missed it. I don't have a support group here in Las Vegas that I can get to on any regular basis. Frankly while I know there are lots of people here who have had the surgery, the LV Board on OH is all but dead. There really is no way to network. And I now know how important that is.
I have stumbled in the last month. Started eating badly, not exercising. Just in general not doing what I had been doing for the previous 15 months. I asked myself why and came up with the nothing. There was no good reason why I wasn't doing what I needed to do. I was allowing those who would see me fail win. Well that is so wrong. I will never let them win. NOT EVER. And so I have come back to OH with a renewed sense of spirit, resolve and determination. I can finish this journey. I can get to goal. And then I can decide on whether or not plastic surgery is the right decision for me.
To those who want to spread their gossip and lies, go ahead. I dare you to take me on again. Attacking me again will only prove to the people that truly matter how much of a failure you people are. I rise above that and move past that and you. I recieved so many good wishes and kind words from so many people who truly see the evil doers for what they are but choose to stay clear of the ruckus. That is my new resolve. To steer clear of the chaos.
Today is a new day and the new beginning of my weight loss journey.
As of today, I have lost 190 pounds!!
The losing of a friend is never easy. It hurts and we mourn. The loss of John is ever so much more tragic because all he wanted was what those of us who have been fortunate enough to come through WLS have achieved. The chance at a normal, healthy life. John will be missed but his spirit will carry on in each and everyone of us forever.
OCTOBER 11, 2005
Well it's 17 months today. I wish I could say everything was great and there were no problems, but truth be told, it's all getting harder now. The old cravings are back. I can eat so much more food and still feel hungry. But worst of all, I see I am emotional eating again and that scares me the most. I'm trying so hard to get control of it, but emotionally I'm a mess lately. We lose our armor of fat and are left raw to deal with issues we've never dealt with before. To experience emotions that are new and scary to us. To question, in my case, every decision I made in my life prior to WLS. Most certainly for me it was my marriage and who I married. He's a nice man, but I'm afraid all wrong for me. When we met 9 years ago and then married 5 years ago, I was a super morbidly obese woman. That is who he met and married. I needed help with the most mundane aspects of life. Simply put, I needed someone to help me put on my shoes and he was willing to do that. Now 190 pounds lighter, I can put my own shoes on and I don't need him anymore. I know it sounds cruel, but the boundries of the relationship have changed. We've talked about splitting up and basically are although still living together. Financially he can not afford to go out by himself and he doesn't know where he wants to go. After 9 years together, I feel some responsibility to him on that front. So I'm waiting for him to make decisions and not to be completely cruel, have put certain things in my life on hold. That is just not fair to me though. Hence my emotional eating. I truly need to get these things in order. I want to get on with my life. I deserve that. I think he thinks I'll get over it all and that is why he's not making a concerted effort to figure out what he wants to do. I suppose I'll give him some time, but not too much time. Life is too short for me to put it on hold.
On a positive note, I have committed to getting into the gym every night. I've been so good at it and having great workouts. They certainly make me feel better. And while I have not lost any pounds this past month, I do see a difference in the way my clothes are fitting. I'm sure the scale will start to move again. I know I can't rely on the surgery at this point to cause the weight loss and if I'm to continue losing I have to make a conscious effort to do so. Basically I have to go on a diet. I hate that word, but if I'm going to lose this last 50 pounds that is what I must do. Then I can start the process of Plastic Surgery. Although I have decided not to have as extensive surgery as many have opted for. I believe I'm just going to go with a tummy tuck and breast lift. I've seen too many complications with thigh lifts and while it would be nice to have my arms done, well I can live with them the way they are.
So that is my journey to date and I'm sorry to say, as of this point in time I'm still down 190 pounds. Got to get the scale moving again.
November 11, 2005
Anyway, May 11, 2004 was the day of the start of this incredible life I have been handed. Yes there have been triumphs, pitfalls and tragedies, but I don't think I would have changed a moment of this time.
Before my surgery my doctor asked me so many questions about myself and my life and I answered what I truly believed was my truth. How foolish I was. But he knew. He knew I would become a changed woman and I have. Yes the pounds are gone, but the realization of who I am has been a far greater change for me than the pounds. The pounds can be seen, but my innermost being which cannot be seen with the naked eye has blossomed and emerged a better person.
I have confidence now. I still battle some insecurities, but I don't allow people to walk all over me. I stand my ground and say what is on my mind. Like it, like me or don't. I've learned I can't please everyone all of the time and I don't have to. None of us do. All we can do is be the best we can be.
I've left this board and then come back. I'm glad I did. I've developed some of the best and most intense relationships of my life since coming back. That in itself is worth it.
And so now I move ahead again. I'm ending my marriage and starting new chapters in my life. Where it will all lead me I guess I don't know, but I'm excited to find out. I love meeting each new day with the chance of learning something new. Meeting someone new. Experiencing something new. Those are things that all the weight prevented me from having. Now the entire world is opened up to me.
I have lost a total of 208 pounds since surgery, 237 pounds since my highest weight. Those numbers are staggering to me. I still have 50 pounds I'd like to lose and hopefully I will. I'm working my program so hopefully it will happen. I'm at peace with myself for the first time in my life.
Tomorrow will be a glorious new day and I can't wait for the sun to rise.
December 11, 2005
Ok, so today is only the 9th...let's not quibble. LOL I'm going away for the weekend and won't have the time to write on the actual day, so I'm a little early.
So what has been going on this month....whew....where to start. The divorce is moving along. Soon to be ex is not a happy camper, which is understandable. I know he loves me and it is hard to be hurting him. But in order to become the person I am destined to be I must do this. I must move on. He has decided to take a job in TX which is a great opportunity for him. His moving date, however keeps getting pushed back and it is just so uncomfortable living in my house right now with him still there. But this too shall pass. On a positive note, however, I am not turning to food to make myself feel better. For that I am grateful.
Have new relationships and friendships in my life and that is just a wonderful thing for me. As I'm learning how to be a more fuller and emotionally sane person I am able to open myself up to those around me in a deeper sense. I'm able to say what I need and want and desire. It's a new feeling for me and I'm grateful to those in my life who are allowing me to become the complete person I always knew I could be.
Food issues really are becoming non issues lately. That is so strange for me. I mean everything used to be about food. Now I just don't really think about it all that much. Yes I eat my meals and my healthy snacks and even the occassional really bad food choice (hey I'm human ya know) but it's not about gorging anymore. It's not about sneaking the food anymore. If it's there and I want something, I have it....in moderation. It's an empowering feeling to have this new relationship with food. I've never had it before and I'm loving it. I didn't realize it would take me 18 almost 19 months to get to that point, but wow am I glad I'm here now. This is what this has all been about for me.
So, I'd still like to lose another 50 pounds, but if I don't, I'm ok with where I am. I'm wearing a size 14/16 and could probably start thinking about plastic surgery in the not too distant future. If I decide I really want to do that. We'll see what happens with that. Haven't lost any pounds this past month but that's ok. That seems to be my cycle lately. Lose really good for a month and then a stalemate ensues for a couple of months.
That being said to date I've lost 208 pounds since surgery, 237 pounds since my highest weight.
MAY 6, 2006
So it's been quite a few months since I last posted here and fast approaching my 2 year weight loss anniversary. So much has happened in my life. So many scary, good, wonderful things.
First, my divorce was final on April 17th. I'm officially a "single" woman. Well in actuallity, I'm only single on paper. I moved back to CA in February and am living with Mikey now. I have truly found the love of my life. To love and be loved the way I am now is the greatest gift next to motherhood and my WLS that could have happened to me. Everyday I come to the realization that my life before was so incomplete.
Motherhood and raising my son to be a responsible adult was and is so gratifying. He makes me proud everyday. But my job with him for the most part is over. He is on his own now. He still calls me for advice or just to be reminded that I love him. But he's his own man now. That's a good feeling.
My life with Mike however is on a totally new plateau. To have found someone I am so compatible with, someone who makes me laugh, think, love, care, and just want to be a better person.....well for that I am so grateful. He brings a joy to my life I never thought I'd ever find. I do believe part of what he brings to my existance is due in part to the fact that I am no longer encased in my armour of fat and therefore am more able to accept love from one single person. He asked me a while back, before we got involved and were just friends, as my marriage was deteriorating, whether I had a roving eye. I honestly didn't know how to answer him at that point. Some time later, after I realized the errors of my ways from my marriage and Mike and I brought our relationship to a new level, that I'm not about a roving eye or needing diversity. I am about finding the right single one person to share my life with. I've finally found that as he's assured me he has as well. To find the love of your life is magical and I'm so grateful for this experience.
As to the weight issues, well I'm holding steady. Wearing a size 14/16 still. Still considering plastics but am not 100% sold on the idea. I suppose if I find the right motivation and desire, I will do it. But it's not something I need to do to be a better or complete person. I so like myself now. I love and am loved for just who I am. That is special.
As of today....almost 2 years out from surgery....I have lost 241 pounds from my highest weight. I'm so proud of that accomplishment.
August 7, 2006
Well imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up to check the board and found that Luana had passed the POTW tiara on to me. I've never been one to seek out the spotlight, so it's a strange feeling for me. But if Lu giving me this honor causes someone to read my profile and my profile has an affect on their life, then I'll happliy wear the crown.
This has been a wonderful journey for me and I love life more and more every day. If you are reading this and thinking about WLS, do your research, be sure it is right for you, but go ahead and do it. It's the best gift I've ever given myself. It's hard now. Don't get me wrong. I'm struggling with keeping my weight off everyday. I suppose I'll have to do that for the rest of my life. But it's worth the struggle. As I've learned, life is a struggle. We deal with obstacles everyday. It's how we deal with those trials and tribulations that are what make us the people we are. I choose the face everything head on. I deal with what life throws at me and then move on. Of course, life has also thrown some pretty wonderful moments my way as well. Those make up for some of the not so great moments.
Anyway, just wanted to take a moment and thank Lu for the honor and let everyone know where I'm at. At almost 27 months out from surgery, I'm still down 247 pounds and still have about 40 pounds to lose. Maybe I will and maybe I won't. I'm okay with it either way really. So until next time...be good to yourself. You deserve it.