Let me tell you all a little about myself. I am a 23 year old mother of one who is hoping to have the Ajustable Gastric Banding. I have been over (average) weight my entire life. I was an overweight child/teenager/adult. I cannot remember ever being an average/healthy size. My weight has been a hindrance lately. I find myself not enjoying shopping anymore as well as being a bit withdrawn from certain activites (physically). That usually is not EVEN a part of my personality, especially NOT ENJOYING SHOPPING!! I started reserching WLS over a year and some months ago after my mother -in- law had Gastric Bypass last year. I got pregnant last year and my dreams were deferred. Than I got back on track after watching how my mother - in - laws (Dimple Donna) health and overall apperance improved. The only diffrence is that I have choosen the "lap band" surgery as oposed to the bypass for many personal reasons. I made the choice to have WLS because I am now a mom and I find myself quickly running out of breath and not being able to keep up with my now 11 month old daughter. I am tired of being tired and I am unhappy with my way of life (unhealthy). Here is my journey.



Well, I am taking that 1st step. I have a (mandatory) infosession on July 21st 2004. I am on my way!!!



8/4/04 - Well I missed the 1st infosession. I have shceduled another for 8/18/04. I can't wait. I really need to get the ball rolling



8/19/04 - Went to the infosession yesterday. They said that it would last about 2 hours. It actually lasted maybe....an 1/2 hour. I think the small group I was in (like me) had reserched this for so long, that we really didn't have many questions. The only reason it seems that we were there was due to the fact that it was mandatory. No I can set up my consult with the surgeon, but because I have an HMO, I will have to get a referrel from my physician. The only road block there is, I just signed on to recieve insurance through my company in December, right before going on maternity leave. This will be my first visit, so I hope that he dosen't give me a hard time. "JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN REFERELL". ;-) Maybe if I go in and scream that, that will work? Wish me luck!



10/20/04 - I know that I should update more often, but a sista is busy! Anyway, I have decided to postpone my pursuit in the lap band. Please do not confuse this with GIVING UP!! By no means is it giving up. But through my reserch I have found (not that this is fool proof), but I see more lap band get approved when the person has a PPO as opposed to a HMO. I have an HMO. The first thing that I noticed when I had my info session is that if you had a HMO you HAVE TO HAVE A REFERREL! Dang. I hate going through the referrel circus. So I will be switching plans in November, it will go into effect in December and hopefully I can get the ball rolling by then. I really cannot wait to get banded. I can't wait to be healther and be able to keep up with my, now, 9 1/2 month old daughter! Catch you later!



11/3/04 _ Just found out today that we will be able to change our insurance plans as early as next week!! YEAHHHHH! I have been waiting months for this. I will update you all soon.




12/10/04 Well, I found out yesterday < after waiting months to switch over to my PPO that my insureance requires a full YEAR of documented weight loss attempts! Isn't that a bummer! I have received plenty of suggestions on ways to work around that. I am going to exhust all of them. So hopefully you will be hearing from me wayyyyyyy before December of 05'. I will keep you all updated. Catch you soon!






1/3/05 Happy New Year! Well, didn't want to leave you all in the dark. I will begin my medically supervised diet next Friday. I know by this time next year I will be saying' "Man this year flew by", but I really can't see it that way right now!! Lord give me the patience. But I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the band -Vs- Rny. I love the idea of the band and all of it's benefits, especially the "less invasive" part. But wow, I love the results of the Rny! Don't get me wrong, I know the pros and cons of both, I know that if the Band or Rny was not meant for me, it will not happen. My main reason for wanting the band at first was because ( and I am being honest here) I WAS SCARED TO DIE!! I knew with my luck I would be the person with the complications and possibly die. That scared me to death (no - pun intended). That is when the Band got my attention. For some odd reason though, I am not quite as scared as I was before about the possibility of having Rny. I am a Christian woman and I believe that when that time comes for you to pass on ( as long as you are prepared and right with you maker) then you must go. It could be during Rny or laying down asleep in your bed. I believe the only thing that is my decision maker is the fact that I am still of child bearing age. I know for sure that I would like to have at least one more child and my fiancée has made it rather clear that he would also like for me to have another. I believe that the band would be much safer as far as carrying a child goes. Ahhhhhhhhhh, the endless possibilities........




1/31/05

Well, I went to the doctor on last Friday to start my "1year" ( you are going to read that phrase in quotes a LOT!! Because, I cannot believe that I have to wait "1year") of supervised dieting. Dr. Kishore is WONDERFUL!! Great personality and very personable. Anyway, we talked, she jotted down my weight loss attempts and then talked to me about eating MORE!! Can you believe it! I DON'T EAT ENOUGH!!! After our lengthy convo and her doing those womanly things that I needed done (breast exam, papsmear etc) she informed me that the hospital has a special "Obesity Clinic" that she would have to refer me too. I told her that I will go there for a year! She said that she liked the idea that I was giving myself a whole year before having the surgery. She said that that let's her know that I have done my research and I am realistic about the situation. Little does she know (and God forbid she ever reads this) the only reason I am giving myself a year is because my insurance requires it hehehhehehehehehehe......... besides, with as many dayum diets that I have been on and failed at, shoot.....that adds up to WELL over a year!!
Anyway, she gave me the referral for the clinic and informed me that it was not unusual for me to wait for an appointment for 3-4 weeks! DANG!! But okay, hell what can you do. So I call the clinic and it turns out that the Dr. she referred me to does not have an available appointment until (drum roll please) JUNE 05'!!!! ARE THEY SERIOUS? Well, I obviously can't wait any longer, so I made an appointment with one of the other doctors there. The wait is only about 4 weeks. It's scheduled for Feb. 23rd. The receptionist that I scheduled the appointment with wants me to call the insurance company and make sure that they will cover the clinic!! THEY BETTER!! You all want me to loose weight so that I can qualify for the surgery, but you don't want to help pay for the effort?? Get the hell outta here.
Chat with you all soon!



2/24/05

Well, Had an appointment with the Obesity Clinic yesterday. I missed it. My baby has the flu. Lucky Me (can you detect the sarcasm in my voice?). Had to reschedule and got another appointment for March 23. Damn!



3/23/05
Well, here goes.Went to the infamous "Obesity Clinic" today to start my dieting. Got there, registered, got all excited because I was FINALLY STARTING my legit supervision. Well, remember when I told you a few updates ago that when I went to schedule the appointment with Dr. Demeyo (the clinic's "Main Man") the young lady informed me that he was booked until June and that she could get me in with another doctor, Dr. Mikcholitis. Well I get in there and see Dr. "M". and we are talking as she is looking over my patient history. She then states, "you do know that I am ONLY a dietician"? I said "Whaaaaa....". FYI, my insurance will not accept just a dietician for supervised dieting. She goes on to tell me that the young lady who scheduled me should have spoken to her first. She then goes on to tell me, that if your goal is weightless, you should have been scheduled to see Dr. Demeyo (who only sees patient's on Monday's) and from there is when you get allocated to a dietician, physiologist etc. Then (HERE IS THE BIGGIE) she goes on to tell me that the clinic is no longer accepting any new patients!!!!! WHAT???? Well, I guess she saw the look of disappointment on my face. She then said, LaToya, I am so sorry. I know that the nurse who scheduled you made a mistake and I really want to help you. So I am going to try and get you into this clinic to see Dr. Demayo and I won't even charge you a co-pay because you didn't get the services that you came here for today. So, her being a nutritionist, she began going over my eating habits, exercise and gave me the food diary. Told me to keep track of things and that she is setting me up for an appointment for April 18th. As swiper the fox would say (Dora the Explorer, Hey I got a little girl at home) "AWWWW MANN"...



4/27/05
Well,
I thought since I was bored here at the office, I might as well update. Well, my last appointment I had at the "Infamous Obesity Clinic" and I canceled it. One reason is

1. Every since I went there the last time, that clinic just turned me off! I want to begin somewhere where at least I get the feeling that I am important and not just some damn insurance claim.

2. Since I have since changed the surgery type that I am pursuing (tell you about that later) I decided to change the hospital that I am having surgery. I would prefer to attend all the pre-op hoopla with the hospital that I want to have my surgery done.

Damn, sometimes I can't even stand my own self! I am always trying to take a damn short cut! I am just not satisfied with the idea of waiting a "WHOLE YEAR" for surgery. Dang, what can I achieve in a year that I haven't been able to achieve in the last 23? Well, I called The University of Chicago the other day to see if the had a program similar to the one I was going to attend at the other hospital. They do!! But, what did Miss Toya opt to do you say??? Well I didn't make the appointment, but asked to be transferred to the bariatric surgeons office. I set up a consult with him (which is a group consult, never heard of that before). But what got my attention the most, after speaking with the person on the phone that took all of my information, was that she said "You'll come in for the group consult, then we will set up a date for you to meet with the nutritionist/psyche eval and then we will deal with your insurance company. When I was interested in pursuing the other surgery (Lapband) I couldn't speak two words on the phone to set up a consult before the young lady asked "What type of insurance do you have............ "Oh, they won't even CONSIDER you unless you have done a year of supervised dieting. Call us back when you have that". DAMN, well did you have to say it like that!!! NOW PLEASE NOTE *Ms. Toya is not naive (sp). I know, UNLESS BY SOME MIRACLE I SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS, that I still am going to have to do my "WHOLE YEAR" of supervised dieting, but I am just trying to find a short cut first (smile). My consult date is May 18th. I will let you all know how it went.

Now, back to the reason I switched surgery types (From Lapband to DS). I am not one to bash any surgery types. It is all a matter of choice. So please do not take the following as a bashing. Here is an email that I sent to someone who was inquiring as to why I had switched. Here is the email Talk to you all soon!

Hey ********!
Yeah, I changed from the LapBand to the DS. I have been doing my research on WLS for years now. The more research that I have done on the LapBand, the more turned off that I have become by it. The band is a tool that requires MUCH MUCH MUCH hard work. I am not saying that the others don't, but the band requires the kind of work that, I might as well not even have the band. ALL OF THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION SIS! The band is for those who enjoy working out (hard) and can be motivated to stay away from the wrong foods (on their own). Well, if that was the case, I wouldn't have gotten to the weight that I am currently today. I mean, I don't want to go through the "getting to my sweet spot" circus. I don't wanna continuously go in for fills. I want to have my surgery and move on to a healthier life style, even if it is forced. I know all of this weight is not going to come off in one day, but geez, I don't want to be 1 year out and have only lost 45lbs or so.

Plus, I was choosing the Band for all of the wrong reasons. The main reason was because of complications (mainly death rate). I have gotten past that and am ready for what ever God has in store for me. Plus, I have not chosen RNY but the DS. I like the perks of the DS. Talk to you soon sis!






5/27/05

Okay the first part of this is from an email that I sent to someone, who had asked me how my journey was going. Didn't feel like typing all over again. The second part is a update of my doctors appointment that I had this afternoon:


Had an appointment/consult with DS surgeon on the 18th. They were asking me to bring with me a referral (even though I have a ppo plan), and health history. Well outside of my OB/GYN while I was pregnant, I really didn't have much of a history. I was also seeing a OB/GYN when I was a teenager who labled me "Obese" in his files, but after calling them, I soon learned that they only keep files for 5 years and then they are destroyed. That was blow number 1. I then called my OB/GYN (the doctor I saw when I was pregnant and for some months soon following) and they wanted to charge me $100.00 for my records!! That was blow number 2!!

Then, I decided, okay Toya, stop trying to get out of this supervision and go ahead and call the hospital where you are getting the surgery and get on there program. Well, I call them and guess what?? THEY ARE NO LONGER ACCEPTING PATIENTS AT THIS TIME!! That was blow number 3.

So, now, after reading my insurance companies webpage, I was told that my OB/GYN is considered a PCP. I have an appointment with my OB/GYN tomorrow morning. She is the same Doctor I saw when I was pregnant. I will ask her about beginning my supervision for me. I probably will not tell her about me wanting surgery as of yet. She is the "skinnyminnie you can work it off with me because I am ALWAYS at the gym type"


AFTER THE DOCTORS VISIT UPDATE!!!
I was totally not expecting the reaction that I received from my Doctor!! While I was in the waiting area, I kept telling myself that I am just going to go in there and break it down for her. "Now, dammit, my damn knees are shot, my back it shot, and I need you to jot that shcitt down"........ I guess I went in there on DEFENSE mode because of her attitude.

Well, I went in there and Dr. Moore's demeanor is much more pleasant that the last time (when I was preggo) I saw her. Since then of course, she has gotten married, so I guess d*** does calm you down/make you happy!! Anyway, she asked me what I was there for and I told her that I need to get on a supervised diet. I was doing some REAL TALKING up in there! I started talking about how my knees ached and I am just unhappy, blah, blah, blah......... she looked on with, surprisingly, understanding eyes. After she let me finish talking, she the said "okay Toya (I thought that was great that she called me Toya and not the stern, MS, ********* (my last name), are you interested in loosing weight the natural way or with the help of medications""? I said, "Can I do a combo of both as long as it is documented"?? She said yeah. And then (THIS IS THE REAL KICKER)she asked "Are you interested in Bariatric Surgery"?? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Okay, I calmly replied in that, it had crossed my mind (a few 100x's) kind of way "Yes I am". She then went on to tell me that she would handle my documentation, hook me up with a nutritionist and also try a personal trainer. She was speaking as though she already knew what the criteria was for getting approved for surgery. I AM EXCITED!!

Now that I know that I have at least 1 person (in the medical field) on my side, 12 months of supervised dieting doesn't seem so bad!! Chat with you all soon!







7/12/05

I am really bored at work today, so I thought why not update my profile although there is not much to update I know how important it is for me as a pre-op to see the ups and downs these post-ops went through when they were in my spot, so .............................

I have been seeing my PCP for my supervision for the last month or so, making sure that I am in her office at least once a month. I know if you even miss "1" lousy month, the insurance company will not count that as 12 months of a continuous supervised diet!! And I am not trying to hear that!! As a matter of fact, now that I am thinking about it, I believe that I missed June! I went there on May 27th, but I couldn't return until I went for a visit to the nutritionist (which was a trip, I'll have to tell y'all about that later). The date I went was on the 29th of June (the end of the month) and I saw my PCP the following week, which was the beginning of July!!! Well, we will see what happens.

Anyway, Dr. Moore (my PCP, I am tired of referring to her as "MY PCP"), again spoke to me about my eating habits and all of this other stuff. My visits are becoming pretty "run of the mill". Anyway, this visit she asked me about beginning the WL meds/aids. Diet pills. I said sure. So she wrote the prescription out for B-12 (which I would have to have administered in her office) and for phenteramine (sp) (one half of the Phen-phen drug).

* I learned that the combination of phentaramine and another drug makes the deadly drug PHEN - PHEN that was banned from the market. Not just the Phenteramine alone.*

Anyway, (look at me, trying to ED JU MACATE some dame body!! lol) do you know that the prescription has been sitting in my purse for about a week now!!!! Not because I am scared to take it. But, I have read the stories behind this drug and although it does work wonders for many (loosing 60lbs in a short while), I have also read (10 times out of 10) that the person usually gains the weight back + some!!! That's the part that terrifies me! The "PLUS SOME" part!! I am 318 now and I can't even imagine what my life (physically) would be like to put on EVEN MORE WEIGHT!!!! Maybe I will get them, tell her I am taking them and when she sees that I am not loosing, she will document that I have tried the diet pill thang and it didn't work. Maybe I will take them, loose the weight and bask in it for the short time that I can. Who knows. Anyway, Just a quick update. I will catch you all lata..............







8/16/05

Phenteramine, smitermine!! Can you tell I am not to enthusiastic about the medication?? I finally decided to take them and for the first few weeks the only side effect that I was having was REALLY SEVERE (KNOCK YO MAMMA OUT) DRY MOUTH!!! I mean, it doesn't seem like much, but it was horrible!! I was offending my own damn self!!! I was MELTING gum people!!! No, seriously!!! But that is what I endured for the sake of shedding a few pounds. Also, the medication, started to upset my stomach. I mean really upset my stomach! So I had to completely stop taking them. There are only about 6 or so left in the bottle and that is where they can stay as far as I am concerned! Oh, and by the way, I AIN'T LOST ONE DAMN POUND!!! Not that that is a shocker though. Pheteramine smitermine!

Well, I have been going to my monthly visits to the doc's office. The last visit was this past Friday. This visit was kind of different though. I got a nurse who was so out going and talkative. Usually I go in and they yell "Ms. *******", they weigh me and put me in a room for God knows how long. But this nurse was different and so cute(personality wise). The first thing that had to be done was that GOD AWFUL weigh in. I hate jumping on that thing. Usually I jump on and the damn SARCASTIC as nurse takes her sweet little time starting at the big 100 mark, then shoves it over to 150 and then 200. I feel like yelling "Bit**, now you know damn well I ain't no damn 150 so click that damn thing on ova to 300!!!!!". Well this nurse gets me up there and starts at 200. That's okay. Then she goes to 250 and then I say, "Let me save you the time". I pushed it ova to 300. I then say," Now, I am about 318 - 320". She looks at me in disbelief and then says, "That can't be right". well, it was and she just couldn't believe it. "You don't even look like you weight 3 anything". Wheather she meant it or not, it put a little smirk on my face for the rest of the day!

Anyway, after meeting with Doctor Moore, she informed me that she had found a WL program that I may be interested in. All that they would require of her is that she weighs me every month. Now, I don't know what that sounds like to you, but to me, it sounds as if she were trying to get rid of me! Well, NOPE! Especially after she told me that the program would run me $600.00!! Girl, Pulleezzee!! I know that I am one of your first supervisions, but I will be right here every month as usual. That's when she said, "Well, then we need to be more persistent with this. I need you in here every week to monitor you closer". Damn, EVERY DAMN WEEK!!!! Geez. That sure is a bunch of co-payments, is all I was thinking. But, I will be in there this Friday and every Friday that follows God Willing. I want this too much to not follow through!

Haven't been on the boards as much as I used to. It gets to be a bit over whelming to constantly see some people fly through the insurance procedure on the daily. I still support, but trust that it ain't always easy congratulating someone on their approval when they just decided 2 seconds ago that they wanted to have surgery or that their insurance policy requires them to do a measly 6 week program. Pssst, but, I digress.







11/14/05
Holidays are pure EEEEE VEIL!!!! Well, except for the day that Chist was born, OF COURSE! Duh! I have been munchin' on freakin Halloween candy since Halloween...........THAT WAS 3 WEEKS AGO!!! Damn, I have been really pigging out and the REAL holidays aren't even here yet! DAMN, DAMN.......DAYUM (throwing my fist in the air!) Shoooodddd, but them peanut butter cups are da bomb! All in the devils plan! LOL

Well, I can just feel myself expanding by the freakin minute!! I am serious as hell!! I have been eating away.........dunno why. I feel like I am eating more and more as the damn dayz grow long. And it goes straight to my dang waist! Urgh! You know what, the next time I go for my doctors appointment, I am stepping on that damn scale BACKWARDS!! I ain't even lying! Imma tell Monica (I have deemed that my bestest friend in da world now since she has been on my side! LOL), my doctor, "Don't even tell me what that damn thang reads! I can tell it aint good because I heard you click that little thingamabob ova too many damn times"! Did I mention that Monica (my bestest friend) is pregnant?? Well, good for her, but I know she betta not try having that baby/going on maternity leave, before my damn supervision is ova!!!! LOL, I know, I am a damn nutt case!

Now that I am finished throwing my tantrum, I forgot to mention that I am in my 6th month of supervision! Did it fly by...............(in my Sophia voice) HELL NAW! Am I ready to endure 6 more months of this BS, you ask?? I said, HELL, NAW!!! I actually didn't have much to write about, but since someone asked me to update, I did.

Catch you lata!








12/22/05

I just had to stop by and tell you all this. My co-worker, who I give a ride to every night, and I decide to play "I got a secret, can you figure it out". I know, sounds like we are twelve, but who cares! Anyway, she starts off, so let me tell you all how the dialogue went and for the sake of it all, I will call her KP:

KP: Okay (in the midst of dead silence), I got a secret, but I can't tell you what it is.

Me: What? Then why did you tell me that you have a secret den you damn psycho!

KP: I can't tell you, but I can answer yes and no if you decide to ask me some questions, hint, hint.

Me: Aight, is it about me?
KP: No.

Me: You, me, so and so
KP: Yup, it's so and so............


So I figured out the little secret. Anyway, I don't know what got into me but I then said, okay, I got a secret too AND NO I AIN'T HAVING A DAMN BABY! Had to say that because she always thinks that somebody is pregnant! So I went ahead and told her that I was going to have WLS next year. Ya'll, if you could have seen the look on her face! It was priceless. First damn thang that comes out of her mouth is "WHY?? You aint even big like that"! Oooooh, that statement made me cringe! I had to tell her to take a guess as to how much I weighed. Do you know what this, iusedtobeamodelanddon'tknowthefirstthingaboutbeingobese, young lady told me.......215! Is she serious? I had to tell her how much I weighed and she was floored! So she then goes on to say, "Girl, you know that is serious". No shit! I had to say, "KP, I have been doing research on this for years. I didn't just decide yesterday that I wanted this damn surgery. Her face then turned sad and she told me that she was scared. I said what the fudge for? She just kept saying that I was one of her best buddies and she didn't want to see anything happen to me. I then had let her know that I know MY GOD and he would never leave or forsake me. By that time, we were already at her house, so she just got out and said, okay "T".


Isn't dat something? Catch ya'll later.







3/6/2006

Well, I guess it is time for me to update. Where do I begin? Well let's start with January. I went to my normal monthly doctors visit. I scheduled it for the last day in January, like I do most of my visits. I HAVE STOPPED DOING THAT! You will see why in a few. Anyway, I went in there, got weighed and had my blood pressure taken. Then after waiting for about 20 minutes the nurse comes in and says that the "billing manager" wants to see me. I am like "Whhhaaaa.....?? I go in there and to my surprise the billing manager tells me that 2 of my checks bounced, back in the summer of 05'! I was like that is some BS! I don't bounce checks and if I was going to, it wouldn't be for a damn $10.00 co-pay! So basically, they kicked me out and told me I could not see the doctor until I got this settled. Well, of course I went home and did the leg work. Turns out I WAS RIGHT! THEY WERE WRONG! Their records were wrong! But, I knew that! The only thing I was worried about was that month being counted for documentation. It should be since I actually DID come into the office and got weighed. Plus, it was THEIR mistake as to why I didn't see the Doctor. I didn't get the chance to ask Monica when I went in for my February appointment, but I will this month. As a matter of fact, I need to get a bunch of info from her before she drop dem twins next month!

On to the next subject! Well, out of no where (1 day in February) the surgeon's office calls me to ask when I would be able to come in for a meeting with the surgeon. I was so shocked that I didn't EVEN want to ask how in the hell they got my name and number ( I hadn't registered with the hospital yet), but WHO CARES. Dimple Donna said that it was "divine intervention". That I believe! Of course, the appointment has been set and rescheduled a few times, but I don't really care. I have 2 more months on my supervision anyway, so I am not in a huge rush to see the surgeon just for them to tell me that I need the proper paper work. Now, I know you are saying "Girlfriend, you only have 2 more months. Aren't you excited?" And the answer is NOPE. I don't EVER try to think negative about ANY situation. But I am getting this felling that I am going to have to go through much more BS (more than this 12 months of BS!) with my insurance company once I am done with the supervision. Oh well. We will see, just keep a sista prayed up.


On a lighter note, my 1st and only Angelette is getting closer and closer to becoming a looser! Lena, you will be there before you know it and I will be right there by your side!

Later

3/21/06
GOD IS WONDERFUL! HE IS AWESOME! HE IS MAGNIFICENT!! IF I HAD A THOUSAND TONGUES, I COULDN'T SAY IT MORE! THANK YOU JESUS!

Let me tell you all, I went to a mandatory info session today for WLS. I was in there taking in all of this knowledge and in the midst of it, I started glancing around the room. I was looking at all of the people there who had issues. Lawd, when I say issues, I mean, young, old, white and black coming in there with there 600lb (temporary bodies) and tubes coming from every end! I then tuned out what the presenter was saying and just started to THANK HIM! Then, as I am giving him the glory, a woman in the back of the room (had to be about 500lbs) started to moan out in pain. That moan turned into a cry and as the entire room stared at her, she just began to tell us her medical problems. The problem that was causing her the most pain, was her gout. She just couldn't take it anymore. She told us that her legs felt like they were about to rip open! My heart was really with this woman (WHO LOOKED TO BE ABOUT MY AGE!) They had to wheel her out and take her across the bridge to the hospital (we were in the professional building).

I then had to excuse myself, cause the spirit took over me. I went to the bathroom and just began to THANK HIM. I thank him for showing me that there is a better way to live. I thanked him for introducing me to WLS. I thank him for not allowing me to get to point that some others have gotten to, or to the point where it was too late. I thanked him for removing the spirit of fear from my heart! I thanked him for placing encouraging people in my life. I thanked him for no longer allowing my health to deteriorate, before I found out that there were other options. I JUST HAD TO THANK HIM! This wait/weight may be getting on my LAST nerves, but He ALWAYS promises a light at the end of the tunnel............

"I will never leave, nor forsake you...."


Wheewwww, just had to get that off my chest!





3/22/06
Today, I went to , what I thought was a general meeting with the surgeon. But it turns out it was a meeting with the; nutritionist, psychologist, a regular MD and then the surgeon. Man, what I thought was going to be a 2 hour visit, turned into a 4 hour visit! I don't think it would have taken that long is that damn staff hadn't forgotten that I was their, twice! When I first got there, I signed in and sat down. I was sitting for a 1/2 hour before a nurse came from the back and asked me my name. When I told her who I was she looked over at the receptionist and rolled her eyes! LOL! She then gave them the third degree as to why I wasn't given the proper paper work and why the doctor was not told that I was there! Anyway I get back there and I got on that BAS (Big Azz Scale, LOL!). Saw my weight, I was disappointed, but not shocked. I mean, honestly, I get on the scale every month! Anyway, I then went to see the nutritionist (took a test and passed with flying colors!). Then I saw the psychologist (took a test and passed with flying colors!) Then that is when the waiting game began. I stayed in dat room for 2 HOURS. They had for' got a sista was there! Can you believe that?? Anyway, I then saw the MD who touched/poked my whole body! And then finally I saw the surgeon. Nope, didn't get to see Dr. Alverdy (They had left me in there for so long that he left for a meeting!) so I saw his right hand man. He won't be performing my surgery, but he wanted to make sure that I knew the ends and outs of the surgery. Which I did! They all agreed that I was a great candidate for surgery! Now if we can get the insurance company to agree, I will be all good! But I have about another 2 months before I get to that! Yup, 2 more months left of my supervision!






3/24/06
WOW is all I can manage to say. I went to my usual monthly doctor's visit (supervision) today. Dr. Moore wasn't there, so I am not sure if she has dropped them babies already or what....didn't even bother to ask. I am SO tired of going in there every dang month, that its ridiculous. Anyway, so I get to the office, get weighed and blood pressure taken. Then the young lady says that I will be seen by Ms (whateva her name wuz), a nurse practitioner. Who cares, is what I wuz thinking and how I was feeling. Just wanted to get the hell up outta there! So on to this woman they call Suzette. Suzette comes in there with her (ten-nan-che) that means TINY, self. She was an older woman who was filling in for doctor Moore. Now since I have been going to Doctor Moore for almost a year, our visits have become pretty "run of the mill". I go in there, get weighed, blood pressure taken. She then ask me what I have been doing, makes a few suggestions and then SHE says.."girl you got just a little while longer before you are finished using me."

Well this woman sort of annoyed me and I am really not going to enjoying seeing her again. Now, she was as sweet as pie. But of course, she has came in on the damn butt end of my history and doesn't know a damn thang! She comes in there and asks what I am here for. I told her, "Doctor Moore already knows about my plans to have WLS, and......................" before I could say another damn word her damn face got all crumpled up. She then says...."baby, that is SO drastic." NO SCHITT! She then gives me the whole spill about how I can do this, I can loose on my on, WLS shouldn't be an option right now......... SHE WAS PISSING ME THE HELL OFF!!!! But I didn't have any more fight in me, I was just tired. So I just sat there and listened to her and nodded my head every now and then. All the while I was thinking, I only got 2 more months!

But right when I was at the last point of PISS-OSITY, she says... "Now, can I give you a hug?" Like she had just finished mentoring to some young, over-weight teenager who had low self esteem! Get the hell outta here! I said, sure. She then says, "Can I pray with you"? That through me threw a loop! I am NEVER one to shy away from a prayer! So, can you believe that we sat there in the office, holding hands, praying? She prayed a good prayer and I took it all in stride. Then I left, humming, "2 more months..........

Also, (damn this post is turning out longer than I intended for it to be! LOL!) I never told you all this, but there were only 2 people in my life who knew that I was pursuing WLS and my mother was NOT one of those people. YES I was intending on telling her once I got approved, but I heard her views on WLS a few years ago and I didn't need the negative feed back from her. So the other day, when I went to the info session, they gave us a pre-surgery eval to fill out. We HAD to bring it with us to our visit to see the surgeon. So when I got home, I filled it out and unzipped my purse and put it in there and left it sticking out so that I wouldn't forget it. Well, the next day I am getting dressed and my purse is next to me on the bed. My mom is changing one of Brooklyn's stinky azz poops (if dat gurl don't start using the potty, she betta! LOL), and looks ova at the EVAL. I was like, oh, well, here we go. She says, "You're having surgery?? For what?" I said, I am trying to go for WLS. She didn't say ANYTHING. Not a "well, okay. Or, "WTH?" Not even a damn.."hmmmmmm". She just went on about her business changing the stinky poop. Isn't that interesting?? Her attitude never changed. But if I know my mother, like I know her she will say something about it at the least expected moment. Oh well.....

Chat with you soon.......



7/6/06
Well I guess it's time for me to update. But before I start, did I mention ..............I AM SO TIRED OF BEING A PRE-OP??? Whhhooosssaaahhhhh! Okay, now that I have gotten that out of the way. Let me start by saying that my angelette (yes, pre-op's can be angels too) had surgery on June 1st.

Lena I am so happy for you and although you may be going through a storm right now, he will bring you through it! If I don't know anything else, I DO know that he is able.

Now, we had the Chicago Meet and Greet in conjunction with Dimple Donna's 50th B-day party about 2 weeks ago. Boy was it fun. I didn't really get to hang out and kick it with the people that attended, at all! Friday night, I got tied up and made it to Dave and Busters late (made sure I had me a few dranks though! LOL!). Saturday morning I was all wrapped up in other engagements and Saturday night, we were too busy dancing the night away to talk to one another. MAN! Oh well, it was good to see the faces of so many that I have communicated with over the past few years.

Now on da surgery front.....I am not sure if you all remember, but a few post back, I mentioned that I believe that I had skipped a month of my supervision, last year due to some conflicting doctors appointments. Well I DID! I missed the month of June last year. So, I had to extend my supervision by 2 months. This month is my last! July 7 (tomorrow) I have my last appointment with my PCP and next Friday I have 1 last appointment with my nutritionist. I was scheduled to meet with my nutritionist yesterday, but when I got there I was told that my out of pocket was WAY more then I had in my pocket (a few 100!) I was like "damn, why didn't you all tell me that ahead of time, I would have came prepared". Anyway, needless to say, I had to re-schedule for the 14th. It won't kill me to wait another week (rolling my eyes). Oh and I am thinking about changing my surgery type AGAIN (to RNY). I know, I know....but listen.... I will take either the DS or RNY. I know that my insurance is a real stickler for NOT approving the DS (they believe it's "investigational"). I am not sure if I want to finish will all of this just to wait 6-12 weeks for approval, well denial, just for me to have to turn right back around and send paper work off for the RNY.

All in all it has been a long time coming......but I know a change is gonna come.

Later.


8/15/06
Okay, my paper work has finally been sent off after playing "hide and go seek" with Monica (my PCP) for bout 2 weeks or more. But I guess it paid off. When I faxed the information over to June S. (University of Chicago, she deals with the insurance company) she told me that my notes were some of the best that she had ever seen. She said she wished everyone's doctors notes looked like mines and that I should not have a problem getting approved. I must admit that Monica did a WONDERFUL job and was very detailed! We will see, cause I am praying on that.

Also, my final decision on the surgery type............RNY! After speaking with June yesterday, she told me EXACTLY what I was telling you all in my last entry. She told me that my insurance company does not recognize the DS and considers it investigational. I could possibly get approved but it would not be without a serious fight! She said that I would possibly have to appeal several times before I get/or "IF" I get an approval. F@$# that! I have been on this here roller coaster for over 2 years! I know they say, hey, this is your body and go for the surgery type that you want because you don't want to have any regrets. Well this doesn't apply to me because I won't have ANY regrets with the RNY, nor am I skeptical about getting it. The one reason I was choosing the DS was because the percentage of weight loss would be greater comparable to my BMI. Both surgeries are tools. I will just have to work a bit harder to sustain my weight loss with the RNY. Which is fine by me, I just need to get my damn foot in the door. So hopefully/prayerfully the next entry will be about me doing back flips because I received my approval letter! Till then~

"It's been a long time comin', but I know a change is gonna come......"

8/28/06
DENIAL is not only a river......well you know the rest!
I received my denial
letter Saturday. I was devastated! But hell I got over it and decided
that I
would just have to have a knock down, drag out, no holds bared fight
with my
insurance company! Well I called them this morning. They were trying to
give
me da run around.....but after I threatened to show my ENTIRE azz
(including, but not limited to showing up at BCBS head quarters, butt
naked
holding a sign that read "I want to be free") they gave me the real
info.
Turns out that they denied me because I didn't have any co-morbities and
they claim they never received the 12 months of documented weight loss
attempts! Whatevea....don't piss on me and then tell me it is raining!
They
told me that they only received my letter from my doctor and nothing
more...WHATEVEA! Who in da hell did they think they were talking to??
Boo
Boo da damn fool?? I don't think so!

So (as I planned before I even got denied) I have scheduled a sleep
study
test to see if I have sleep apnea. Lord, this is the only time I have
ever
PRAYED that I have a co-morbidity! I am scheduled to go in on the 9th
and
will receive the results on the 18th.

"It's been a long time comin', but I know a change is gonna come......"




10/27/2006

I freaking got denied for surgery AGAIN! I have fire in my eyes! I actually called the insurance company 2 weeks ago to do a follow up, just to be informed that my damn paper work was NEVER sent back to appeals! Whoooossaaahhhhh.......den I call today and they tell me....you were denied, the letters in the mail. What for you ask?? Hell if I know! What he was saying all sounded like gibberish to me! Even after I asked him to break it down...still......gibberish! So with that said.....I am going to let my lawyer sort that out! Yes, I WILL be hiring a lawyer (who specializes in these types of cases, of course) to handle this.....lawd.....mo money.....but I have to do what I have to do....keep me prayed up!

7/17/2007

"It's been a long time coming but I KNEW a change was going to come"! IHAVE BEEN APPROVED FOR SURGERY!!!! And without the help of a lawyer! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

8/21/07
Test, test and more test...oh my! Yesterday was my ALL DAY stay at the hospital. I was there from 9:00am to about 5:45pm, attending classes, meeting all of my surgeons, getting blood work done (dayum my arm is still sore as HELL!...I swear they had to fill up about 15 of those little tubes). But man was it a long day...hell, they should have put my azz on the payroll, I was there so long. But hey, it's all in the name of making the transistion a great one at best, so I would have stayed all week if I had to. Let's see...anything else to report?? I have to run and pick up my FMLA paper work from Monica (my pcp...hey did I tell you all that she is pregnant, AGAIN? Bless her heart). Am I nervous about surgery? Nah...i've been preparing for so long...I'm not concerned about the actual surgery...that is all in my Father's hands...he will never leave nor forsake me.......so I'm good on that accord. I tell you what I am worried about though....HOW IN THE HELL AM I GOING TO REMEMBER ALL OF THIS MEDICATION/FOOD INTAKE MESS??? Man...."take this ....but half of that pill....mix with water...don't mix that one with water....You can malabsorb this.........you can't that....take this vitiman.....swallow whole.....break this one up or you'll get sick....."


I mean dayum! Wheewwwww....this is going to be a journey. But I have choosen my destiney....so I am rolling with the punches and God is giving me the gloves! I will chat with you after I make it to the loosing side..Peace


"It's been a long time coming but I KNEW a change was gonna come".........




9/13/07
I'm on the loosers side. I stayed in the hospital for about 2 days. The pain was, what I expected to be, PAIN! lol But I had my happy pump...well until I started abusing it,lol..so I was all good. I have a filter (placed in through the neck to prevent blood clots) that tilted so it had to be repositioned.. I was awake while they did it and let me tell you..IT AIN'T THE MOST COMFORTABLE THANG! But... I won't complain...not at all...this is only the beginning of my journey. I am still not back to "normal" or what ever that is...cause when did being morbidly obese become normal? You know one moment that I wont forget about that day? When I was laying on that bed getting ready to be wheeled back and I just became amazed that "THIS WAS FINALLY ABOUT TO HAPPEN FOR ME". I looked over at Dimple Donna and she was a little misty eyed because she was thinking the exact same thing! She was emotional because of the journey I had taken and the one I was about to begin. We were thinking the exact same thing at the same time! All we could say was "Girllllllll...." HA! Anyway, I will get back to you when I have made some real progress....Later!

"It's been a long time coming, but I KNEW a change would come"....


10/5/2007 (313lbs)

Well I’m assuming it’s time for a tinsey update, huh? I’m 6 months out and weighing in at 222lbs. To God be the Glory! I may be in a size 18 I’m not sure, smaller sizes intimidate me! I’ll walk right over to the 26’s..they’re of course too big. Look over at the 18’s and I’m saying.."nah..those are wayyyyy too small.." so I don’t get anything..just walk right outta the store. Weird huh? So I’ve been up in arms bout buying new attire..but it is MUCH needed! Lol..I’m telling you..this thing messes with your head. I still see 355 when I look at myself. But I digress.

I can pretty much eat what I want. I’ve tried a few grams of sugar..I can tolerate, but I keep that to a bare minimum! I can’t even count on one hand the number of times I’ve had pure sugar. I’m good with sugar free candies when I have a craving. I still can’t tolerate bread to tough. Which is GREAT..cause bread was my food demon before surgery, so I have NO problem not being able to eat i