May 5th 2006 Life after WLS just continues to get better and better for me. I have now lost a total of 220 pounds and am enjoying my new life more then I ever thought possible. I have just bought my second Karaoke system and hoping to aquire a third one can never have enough backups just incase something goes south equipment wise. A few days ago I was flogged on the Msg board because of what I do . I found it a bit amusing to say the very least I never knew that being a KJ was the next thing to being a pole dancer LOL but hey to each their own on that account. My job is unconventional I make good money and I support my family without help from anyone so I guess it's not such a bad job if I can love what I do and at the same time pay my bills. And make so many new and interesting friends along the way. So dance baby dance :)

July 31 2006 It is confession time for me here. I am feeling like the worst WLS roll model ever. As most of you know I lead a very stressful life always on the go always taking care of someone else chasing after endless jobs and working my tail off. Well while doing this I have done the one thing we are told in the beginning never to do. And that is take ourselves for granted.
I have no right talking about taking vitamins or getting protein in as I have been horrible for the past 3 months at doing so. And now I am paying a heavy price for this. I kept telling myself I’ll do better tomorrow but tomorrow would come and I would not do any better. I skip meals because I forget to eat I get so busy and so wrapped in other things I neglect myself and in order to succeed you can not do that and be healthy at the same time. I might of remembered to take my morning vitamins on some days but forget the rest. You can not do that.
I will admit this is MY own fault I let myself do this why I do not know but all I can do is be honest in hopes that none of you will make the same mistakes. Yes I’ve lost a lot of weight but now I’m losing something even more important and that muscle my body has been eating itself because I have been so shamelessly neglecting me.
I am now under some heavy duty doctors care I am having to journal everything I eat when I eat when I take my vitamins and I have to report once a week to my doctor to make sure I’m doing this. I also have to see my nutritionist 3 times a week to keep me in line thankfully she is a personal friend she is even taking me shopping to make sure I’m getting the right things I need to stay healthy. I also have to see a blood specialist now to hook me up to IV’s once a week for 4 hours a day for the next 8 weeks because I have run myself down so badly I could have had a major heart attack at any time. And this is my fault.
If my story sounds in anyway familiar to any of you please talk with your doctor this is not a healthy life style and the only person your hurting is you. I get so many people telling me oh I can not wait until I forget to eat and I want to cringe inside and want to scream from the roof tops be careful what you wish for because it may come back to bite you. As it has me.
I care about everyone here on OH and I beg you all please take care of yourselves because noone else can do that for you.

October 16th 2006

Well Today was a good day. My labs are not as bad as they had been and after an 8 week IV iron infussion so far so good things have become more stable. I've lost another 7 pounds and was told once again by the doctor ok enough is enough already. Which just made me smile as he was smiling himself. I have been cleared to look into plastic's to remove my panni. I'm happy and nervous both at the same time about this. I might not look like I have alot of extra skin but I look like a flabby wrinkle dog is sleeping around my middle LOL. I'm working very hard still at getting my protien in I find no matter how much I try I seem to still fall short. But like the doctor told me don't not try keep my eye on the prize and I will get it one day.

October 26 2006

Welcome my beautiful little grand daughter into this big ole world Miss Lillian Marie born October 26th at 6:28pm . I love her to pieces and can not smooch her enough.

October 31st 2006

I just wanted to say happy Halloween everyone its been a wonderful couple of days.

Here are a couple of photos of me in the costume my mother and I made.

12-25-06

I am sharing some photo's of my little Xmas elf Lillian Marie my beautiful grand daughter who is truly the light of my life and whom has given me the biggest reason for enjoying the new me.

1-26-07

Well Today is my 2 yr surgery anniv. And what a ride it has been. I have lost a grand total of 256 pounds and I feel better then I have felt in years. This surgery has given me a whole new life with endless posibilites. I have gone from wearing a very tight size 28W jeans to a size 10/12 depending on the maker from a 5X shirt to a junior size Med. and still can not believe it.  I do still find myself heading for the plus sizes when I'm out shopping its funny when the sales clerks will come up to me and have to lead me over to the junior misses section of the store to tell me I may find these sizes more fitting. I believe it takes awhile to see what others do on the outside when for years and years all you have ever seen when looking in a mirror is a plus size person looking back at you it takes time for your mind to see what others people see. But its a wonderful feeling when you do.

3-5-07

And the WOW's keep coming. Last evening My sister in law decided to kidnap me for an evening of just girl stuff which as a nice change in the rutine of the months past. We went shopping and figured we'd hit the hot tub afterwards the heat would do my back good. Well for one I didn't have a swim suit so this is first on the agenda. We head on over to walmart as it was late and the mall was closed by then we get over there and let me tell you thier selection of suits are really limited unless you want to wear a bandaid I choose not to be so exposed. Anyway my SIL whom is MO takes the lead an wanders me over to the junior section of the store for one I wasn't really paying much attention to the size area we browsed a bit and i found a nice looking suit but at a complete loss as to what size I needed. So we hit the fitting rooms. Lets just say after trying on 6 suits I found the perfect fit in a size 10/12 L juniors not a misses not a womens but a juniors ME? I have not owned a swim suit in over 20 yrs i was to embarased to ever think about wearing one in public let alone actually buy one in my former size which was a 26/28W that was snug to say the least. Granted I'm still a bit on the shy side when it comes to exposing alot of skin I probably always will be but I have to admit i wont be ashamed to wear a bathing suit again in public. Life is to short not to get yourself out there and enjoy it. And I plan on living each an every day as if it were my last.

April 12th 2007

Wow it is so hard to believe where the time goes anymore. It seems as if it were only yesterday I was beginning my wls journey and here I am now 28 months post op and down 268 pounds. I am however currently struggling with some eating issues. And I have had to admit I need help with. My life has become very stressful and instead of the head down full speed ahead type attitude I've always taken when facing things like this. I started to self distruct and not take care of myself. I've always taken care of everyone around me and tend to neglect myself more often then not. But this time I went about it in a bad way. I've been trying ever so hard to keep on track with vitamins as I am exteremely anemic that a paper cut could cause me to bleed uncontrolably for hours. I've had to take on alot more work then I am supposed to due to the unexpected departure of the BF who went out to Washington DC for his job only to return and tell me he was going back in a week and that will be it basically. Even though I know his son needs him I have to admit to myself it hurt deeply to once again believe in someone enough to spend close to 5 years with them only to be once more left behind. However I'll be fine with it I understand why he did what he had to do but I would of liked just a little more warning then what I was given. After being laid low with my back for almost 7 weeks unable to hardly get out of bed on my own I am now back to work full time because the rent must be made and the kids need to be taken care of. So I have ended up back into the old mold of taking care of everything but myself. I've been skipping meals forgetting my vitamins and over loading myself on water. Which keeps me full all the time with little room for food. This is NOT the way to go so please if you are reading this do not do as I have done it does nothing but cause problems. I had to be taken into the ER with chest pains brought on by a depletion of postassium in my system from so much fluid intake which caused my heart to work faster and irregularly. The anemia is also at an all time low because of the Iron that I am supposed to be taking tends to cause me to vomit almost daily. The pills are so large i have to cut them and even then they get stuck which causes the foamies and eventually I hurl. The food issues the doctors are sure of are instead of turning to food for comfort now I am in an avoidance pattern I water log myself to get through the night at work and once the evening is over I attempt to eat then get sick because I'm so full of fluid my new pouch can not handle the dence food it was finally given. This is a dangerous pattern to follow. I have become serverely malurished to the point I have needed IV infussions to balance out my electrolites and help replenish some form of nutrition. I am now journaling all my food water and working with my doctors to help me get on track to a healthier lifestyle pattern. My hair is once again thinning because of the lack of protien in my diet which has become nearly non exisitant which is also a bad thing as my once thick hair is now very thin and lifeless. I have a lot of work to do on myself in the months ahead but I dont I will do it with the help of my friends here on OH and my family who are behind me every step of the way. 

7/24/07
I figured it was time for a couple new photos to show you that anything is possible if you dare dream it. As some of you know I've had some issues with food but that is getting better and I am using more suppliments now to help build myself back up a little bit. The new photos prove I am starting to look a bit healthier and not so gaunt. I have gained back only 3 pounds but its probably water my surgon wants 15 before I under go plastics as I will be very under weight once its over. 

      
trying to show some muscles in this last one lol.


October 14 2007

Well here we are beginning the wonderful fall season. I'm finally beginning to feel better as I have just finished the latest round of iron infusions and have a bit more pep to my step. I've been having to deal with some issues with my eyes lately brought on by mass steroid use over the years which has caused a form of glaucoma to develop however it is being treated. I am currently off all medications for my back which has been providing me with a few more painful days then I've had in the past but if it comes down to mobility and my vision I'll give up mobility first. 

I am still working through some major eating issues however I am doing better. I'm still not getting enough protein in per day but my calories are much better then it was. No more 300-600 cals a day I'm now closer to 800-1000 which is where the doctors want me they want more but are happy at this time I have stayed in this range for now. I'm still having trouble with the throwing up issues. But now its more from eating to quickly and not taking my time. I am still charting my food intake daily to see where the high's an lows are. 
Also I am posting a couple new photo's taken this past Friday I think I look alittle better then the last ones not so tired looking.
 

WOW here it is March 20th 2008 already Time sure has been flying past for sure. This has been a very long cold and very snowy winter for sure. Spring is just starting to show through all the large snow mountains and we have a tiny bit of grass finally showing. As some of you know I blew my left knee to pieces here about a month ago basically a reinjury of an old war wound that now has to be repaired. The best part of WLS is when you see a certain doctor to whom annoys you for their egoish bedside manner when a couple of years ago told you that you are to FAT to have this type of surgery to correct the searing pain to your knee and that your weight would only cause more problems there for live with it and send you home. Well I got my chance to make this doctor eat his words this past week an enjoyed it more then words can say. After going through the normal testing and having all the MRI's and xrays sent to this specialist his office called me as he wished to speak with me about the results. The first question out of his mouth was.... Well did you lose the 100 pounds I told you to lose in order to fix your knee? So being the smartass that I am of course I said no I had NOT lost 100 pounds ... BUT how is 262 pounds for a loss for you? There was a very long pause here as the doctor digested this information ( loved it I really did) So we set up an appt to go over all that needed to be done to make the nessesary repairs before I go back to work this June. I had taken 3 months off work in order to attempt to heal here but was informed I should of taken at least 8. THIS news is something I did not want to hear at all. However we're working on that. I will be having a total knee reconstruction done. They will be giving me  whole new ACL and MCL tendons as I have torn them both completely into. There is no more saving them. My surgery date is tenative for April 17th but if there is a cancelation i will be bumped ahead as they need to get this done asap. I will keep everyone updated on this and hopefully its not as painful as they are making it sound like god knows it hurts enough at the moment I guess i'm just getting used to it.