7~14~04 Hi to all! I'm just waiting to hear that the insurance has  

approved me and I can't wait to set a date! Although I am nervous about the  

surgery, I am also excited to get started on this process of a  healthier, thinner life :)

8~4~04 Ok, I'm bummed :( Dr. A's office called today and said that I 

didn't have enough "documentation" of weight loss attempts in the last 

2yrs so the insurance co would never approve it. Funny that my pcp 

thought it would go thru with no problems but whatever. So, needless to say 

I'm stressed! I guess it will be 6 more months of documentation and then 

maybe I'll be able to join you on the losing side. I keep reminding

myself that things happen for a reason and that 6mths will fly by~think I 

can convince myself of that??? LOL!

8~23~04 Well, I've just been weighing in weekly and waiting. Last week 

the scale said I lost 7lbs, but I'm sure it was just reading that way 

b/c the doctor moved to a new office and it was a different scale so I 

didn't get too excited about that. In fact, with the stress of waiting

for documentation and approval I think I've been eating more :( This is

a long journey, but one that I know will be well worth it in the end!  

9~13~04 Things have been very hectic with back to school and my parents

  visiting from Florida. I don't know if it's that or the fact of playing

  the waiting game that is making me feel very blase' about this surgery. 

I didn't even go and weigh in last week b/c I just didn't feel like

  it~I will make it a point to go this week though :( This whole process is

  such a series of super highs and super lows and I guess I'm at a low

  point right now. I just don't want to lose my desire to do this b/c I

  deserve to live a happy, fulfilled, thin life! So anyway, I'm still

  playing the waiting game and hating every minute of it! 

12~2~04 I AM APPROVED!!!!!! MY SURGERY DATE IS JAN 3RD!!!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?!?!?! After I finished my 6mths documentation

  it has all gone so fast. Now I am excited and very nervous. I trust in

  my Dr but am still very nervous b/c I have 2 young sons and I don't

  want anything to go wrong. I'm sure you've all felt this way pre~surgery

  too. All I can do is just keep praying and have faith in the doctor and

  Go For It! I can't wait to join all of you on the losing side :)

12~6~04 Well, all I can think about is the surgery morning, noon and

  night~I guess that's normal, LOL! I'm just sitting here browsing the

  profiles and trying to suck in every piece of info I can b4 my big day! I

  find so much inspiration in all of your stories and I can't even begin

  to tell you how much it means to me to be able to read everyone's

  success stories! I wish my surgery day would get here already, but I know it

  will come up faster than I think.

12~27~04 So, I got some depressing news today~my surgery has been moved

  to Jan 11th :( Krisit called today and said that my EKG from Dec 22nd

  had 1 line that looked different than the EKG I had in June so they want

  me to have a stress test. Well believe me , I'm now stressed without

  any tests! She said it could be nothing but better to be safe than sorry.

  If it is something, they might have to put me on some type of meds b4

  surgery so now I wait and see. I will have the stress test on Jan 4th

  and 5th and they will have the results by the afternoon on the 5th so

  then I will know if its a go for Jan 11th. Its always something, isn't

  it?!?!?! So I've been all geared up and ready to go and now a stall. Well

  I guess its only 8days but I just want this done and over with. Plus,

  my mom is here right now and was scheduled to stay thru Jan 9th so I

  guess she will be changing her ticket to stay longer to help and be here

  to help me, etc. The 3rd was really the perfect day but I guess I will

  have to wait. It just really scares me too and makes me know I am for

  sure doing the right thing! I do not want to have heart and health

  problems due to this weight!

1~10~05 Well, less than 24hrs till surgery. I've been thru every

  emotion in the past few days. I'm feeling ok right now, but that could change

  at any second I'm sure. So Jan.11th at 6am my journey will officially

  begin. I'm just praying for a successful surgery and no complications

  afterwards. I'm doing this to live and be healthy so hopefully that will

  be the outcome. I am scared, but I do feel that I'm doing the right

  thing. Thanks to everyone for all of the support you've given me!

1~15~05 WEll, Paise God I made it thru! I am so happy about that. I am

  also pretty miserable at the moment~not really pain wise just cant

  relax, getting faitgued easily etc. Just wanted to let ya all know I've

  joined you on the losing side. I'm sure it will only get better from here

  on out~just takes time.

2~9~05 I'm now 4wks out and I've had some ups and downs. I'm getting

  very bored with my eating options, but hopefully soon I can expand to eat

  some new things. I'm down 33lbs so far and that feels great!!! I have

  good days and bad days, but today I feel good thank goodness!! Having

  some issues with throwing up, so we will see how quickly it passes.

   2~12~05 Just wanted to do a quick weight update. I went to the dr

  yesterday and I am now down 39lbs. I was very happy with that in 4.5wks!

2~20~05 I need to write this all out so I can look back on it someday

  when I'm feeling better:

Right now I am consumed with feelings of doubt and confusion. I wonder 

why I had this surgery, did I make a huge mistake that I can't change,

  why do I feel so terrible emotionally and physically??? I am totally

  consumed with these feelings, thinking about drinking my water and when

  will I eat. When I think of food it makes me gag. I feel like I'm losing

  it and it really scares me. I just want to feel like my normal self

  again. As soon as I wake up, the feelings come rushing back into my head.

  I have to deep breathe my way thru the anxiety that I'm feeling. I just

  hope and pray that I didn't make a mistake and that I will be ok soon.

  This constant throwing up and feelings of nausea all day and all night

  are really taking a toll on me. I just wish they could figure out why

  it's happening. Dh thinks its the meds that I'm on, but who knows. All I

  do know is that anxiety attacks are terrible and I'm having them

  frequently. I called the doc and they've given me some Lorazepam for the

  attacks that I'm having~thankfully its been helping b/c I was to the point

  of not being able to breathe a few times. Its a very overwhelming

  feeling and one that I hope will go away soon. Oh how I wish to feel healthy

  and normal again! 

3~15~05 Just wanted to say how much better I'm feeling these days!!!!

  YEAH!!!!!!! They took me off of glucophage and wow what a difference~no

  more feeling sick or throwing up! What a blessing! Now I'm feeling much

  happier that I had this surgery and that my weight is coming off. I'm

  down 52lbs in 9wks so I'm pretty happy with that!

4~8~05 Went for my 3mth check up today. I'm down 60lbs~YEAH!!!!! My

  bloodwork all looked great~cholesterol was 176 and finally in the good

  range :) It looks like this surgery is working out great. I've been

  walking 2miles a day and that feels great too. Dr. A told me that I will

  probably lose about the same amount of weight that I lost in the first 3

  months in the next 3 months~that would be awesome! Anyway, just wanted to

  update to say that everything is going well :)

5~3~05 Things are going great! After a little stall, things have now

  picked back up and I am down 78lbs in just under 4mths! I'm focusing on

  protein and exercise these days and it seems to be working. Thanks to

  everyone for all of your support!

5~23~05 Still sailing along here. I'm down 85lbs, so I'm thrilled!

  We've been having great weather so I'm getting nice and tan which makes me

  feel better about how I look too. I have a goal of 100lbs by 4th of

  July~doesn't seem unreasonable to lose 15lbs in a month and a half, but

  who knows~this journey has a mind of its own, LOL!

5~28~05 I finally hit the 90lb mark!!! I'm thrilled to say the

  least!!!! I know I can make it to my short term goal of 100lbs by July 4th now

  :) The only problem I've been having lately is painful bm's~kind of a

  gross subject, but I'm trying to deal with it. Taking stool softeners

  daily, getting plenty of fiber, water and exercise too. I hope this

  resolves itself SOON!!!!!

 6~14~05 I'm in the century club! Today I've officially lost 100lbs!

  YEAH! I made it b4 my July 4th goal date :) So, now my next short term

  goal is to be under 200lbs. I am so thrilled to be so far so fast and so

  happy that I had this surgery! Today was my son's school picnic at an

  amusement park and I actually went on several rides and wore a swimsuit

  in the water park~these are things I NEVER would have done b4 surgery.

  What a blessing this has been!!!!!!!!!!

7~11~05 Well, its been almost a month since I've updated. Things are

  going well. I'm down 110lbs now~seems to be coming off slower these days,

  but as long as it keeps going down I'm happy :) I had my 6 month check

  up on 7~8~05 and Dr. A tells me everything looks great~all bloodwork

  came back fine and my cholesterol is 165 which is amazing to me!!!!!!!!

  I'm enjoying shopping more and more~trying not to go overboard though,

  LOL. It's so cool to finally be able to shop in "regular" size clothes

  again. I am still losing hair and having constipation issues, but these

  minor inconveniences are well worth the awesome benefits!!!

7~30~05 Just wanted to give a quick weight update. I'm down to 211lbs

  so that's a loss of 117lbs~Yeah!!!!!!! I'm still working on my goal of

  being less than 200lbs soooooo, 12lbs to go!

8~13~05 It's a happy Saturday morning!!!!!!! I just weighed in and lost

  4lbs this week for a total of 123lbs gone forever~YEAH!!!!!!!!! I'm now

  at 205lbs and closing in on my short term goal of being under

  200lbs~can ya tell I'm excited?!?!?!?!?!?! Another good thing for the week is

  that my constipation and pain are gone, FINALLY, after months of going

  thru it~no more protein bars or shakes for me! I will miss getting in

  extra protein so easily from them, but it was really hard on my body!

   8~20~05 Well, I'm here for my weekly update! I lost 4lbs this week

  bringing me down to 201!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! That's a total loss of

  -127lbs!!! Not sure if I'll make it all the way to next Saturday to wait and

  see if I made it under 200lbs or not, LOL! I'm impatient, but I'm gonna

  try~don't want to jinx my progress!!!!!!

8~27~05 I finally made it to ONEDERLAND!!!! WOOHOO!!!! I weighed in at

  199.3 today and I am so happy and excited! It's truly amazing to me

  that in just under 8mths I could drop 129lbs! I feel so blessed that I was

  able to have this surgery and that its REALLY working for me!!!! Now

  I'm off to my next short term post op goal~reaching 180lbs~I haven't seen

  that one in years ;)

9~9~05 I weighed in last week on Friday instead of Saturday b/c we were

  going camping for the holiday weekend~I was NOT happy b/c I basically

  stayed the same (199.7) after my high excitement of getting below 200. I

  felt good this week and thought my loss might have picked back up, but

  wasn't sure. So I couldn't wait any longer and weighed in again this

  morning (on Fri instead of waiting till tomorrow, LOL) and sure enough I

  dropped 5lbs!!!!!!!!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!!! I looked down to see 195.0 and

  almost fell over! Anyway, I'm happy this week :) Can ya tell!!!!!

9~17~05 Nothing too exciting to report this week. Only lost 1lb

  bringing me down to 194, but that's ok~better 1 than none I guess, LOL. I've

  been back to having some butt problems again this week~went thru some

  constipation and now I'm back in pain. I can't wait till Sept. 30th for

  my booty appt~I'm really not looking forward to it, but I hope to get

  some answers on what's wrong with me.

   9~24~05 Ok, for some reason it's finally hitting me today~this is

  really happening!!!!! I am really getting smaller and smaller which is so

  exciting!!!!! I weighed in this morning at 191.4~so down 3lbs for this

  week :) I am SOOOOO happy that I had this surgery! Through all of the ups

  and downs over the past 8.5mths, this is the feeling I've been waiting

  for~Complete Joy!!!!!!!

10~3~05 Just a quick update! On Saturday I was down 3 more lbs so that

  brings me down to 188lbs~just 8lbs away from my short term goal of 

180lbs.

   10~15~05 Had a good couple of weeks. I'm down to 184 so I'm almost to

  my next goal~probably another 2 weeks and I'll make it! Things are going

  great **knocking on wood** !!!!!

11~14~05 Things are going great! Down to 176lbs and bought my first

  pair of size 8 pants~they are snug, but fit/zipped/buttoned, LOL! Some

  people say I've lost enough and I'm kinda tired of hearing that~Dr's goal

  is 165lbs and my personal goal is 150lbs so I still have a ways to go

  yet. I am so happy every day that I had this surgery and as I approach

  the 1 year mark I'm beginning to reflect back to where I was a year

  ago~I am SO MUCH happier now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12~12~05 Well, its been almost a month since I've updated. Things are

  still going well. I'm down to 170lbs with a BMI of 25.1~WOW, I'm almost

  normal, LOL! People are starting to say "Oh, don't lose anymore weight,

  you look good right now", but I want to see this all the way thru till

  the end~5lbs to Dr.A's goal and 20lbs to my personal goal. We'll see

  how things go, but I am very happy at this weight so if I didn't lose

  anymore, I'd still be happy! Thinking back to my feelings from a year ago,

  I am so glad to be on the losing side of things and almost a year out

  from surgery~it was such a scary, confusing time.

   12~24~05 I'm NORMAL!!! I weighed in at 167lbs bringing my BMI to

  24.7~WooHoo!!!!! What a great Christmas present!!!

1~2~06 Happy New Year!!! Well, I'm happy to say that I stayed the same

  over the holidays~no gain!!!! I was worried b/c I didn't eat as well as

  I usually try to and my workouts slacked off over the holiday week so I

  was a little worried. I'm coming up on my 1yr anniversary and its

  bringing up alot of feelings. Just thinking back on my feeling from a year

  ago and how far I've come since then~its overwhelming! I am so happy to

  be on this side of things!!!

   1~7~06 Well, WOOOOHOOOO! I weighed in at 164lbs today, which means I am

  EXACTLY half the person I used to be!!!! I can't believe that I made it

  to Dr.A's goal in just under a year!! Its amazing to me!! I have an

  appt on 1/11/06 for my 1 year and I'm so excited to show him how well his

  work has done for me!

   1~11~06 So, no doctor's appt today, had to reschedule, but its my 1yr

  Anniversary! What a mix of emotions I'm feeling today. When I look back

  at where I was on this day 1yr ago it makes me so happy to be 1yr out!

  It was such a scary, emotional time. I remember waiting for Dr. A to

  get there for my surgery~he was late!!!! I remember laying down on the

  operating table and being scared out of my mind!!!! Somehow, I made it

  thru all of this and I am so happy with the results. I know this would

  not have been possible without a little help from above!!! Thanks to all

  who read this and for everyone that has supported and encouraged me on

  this journey! Here's to many more "thin" years to come!!!!

1~21~06 Things are going well. I weighed in at 162lbs today so I was

  happy. Finally had my 1yr appt yesterday and everything looks great~labs

  came back good, cholesterol 163, etc. Dr. A says "so you're done losing

  now". I laughed and told him I wanted to lose 12 more lbs~gotta make it

  to 150!!!! He checked the BMI wheel and ok'd it for me, LOL. He's such

  a great guy!

    2~4~06 It's been a few weeks so I thought I'd better update! For the

  first time I'm getting a little frustrated!!! I've been hanging out at

  162 or 163 for a few weeks now~urgh! I really want to make it into the

  150's and make it to my ultimate goal of 150!!! Well, right now it's just

  not happening. I'm being so good, working out, eating right..........oh

  well, this too shall pass. I'm gonna give it one more week and if

  there's no downward move, then I'll try the plateu buster and see if it

  works. I really can't complain b/c this is the first stall I've hit during

  my journey~I do feel very lucky about that! Anyway, I'll just keep

  working away and see what next Saturday morning brings! Until

  then...............

2~11~06 I finally lost 1lb!! WooHoo! I know it doesn't sound that

  exciting, but after having 5wks of losing NOTHING, 1lb sounds good to me.

  Hopefully I've broken the plateu and will get back to losing a little bit

  easier now!

2~25~06 Slowly, but surely! I'm down 1 more today so that brings me to

  160lbs. Things have definitely slowed way down and I do get hungry now,

  but I am so happy with how everything has gone! I thought maybe my body

  was going to stop itself at a certain weight, but it looks like I might

  make it to my personal goal of 150lbs eventually~hey, maybe for summer

  :)

3~4~06 I'm so happy to report that I made it into the 150's~159lbs to

  be exact,LOL, but seeing that 5 instead of a 6 made me smile!!!!!! I do

  find that I can eat more now and I get hungry sometimes, but I'm just

  trying to stay focused on the things that go me here~protein, water and

  exercise. 9lbs to go till my ultimate goal~WooHoo!!!!!!!

3~25~06 The scale finally moved again~YEAH~I was 156lbs this morning! I

  had a feeling I would lose b/c we were walking like crazy 2wks ago. I

  didn't have any official weightloss last Saturday, but I think that was

  due to the fact that I "started" on Friday, so I was bloated, LOL.

  Anyway, I knew I would be down this week, but not 3-4lbs down!!!!!!

4~28~06 Well, things have been moving along here and I've found out

  that this "tool" really does work! I gained 2lbs~bringing me up to 158lbs.

  I think the gain came not so much from poor food choices as much as

  from a larger volume of food. So, I decided to get serious, LOL! I

  received my new 5 mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD and did it every day Mon-Fri.

  I also really watched my food intake and was sure to make wise food

  choices and the tool came thru for me~I not only lost the 2lbs I had

  gained, but I dropped down to my low of 154lbs!!!!!!!!! WooHoo!!!! I was so

  excited and it is so good to know that if I gain a few pounds, I can

  get them right back off. So this is my long range plan~to keep track of

  my weight and if I have a weight gain, to address it right away so that

  2lbs doesn't lead into 20lbs and so on.

6~10~06 Wow, its been awhile since I've updated. Well, I weighed in at 

my all time low of 152 yesterday for the first time! WooHoo! I was

  excited. Only 2lbs to my ultimate weightloss goal of 150lbs. Things have

  been going great! I'm feeling healthy and happy! Still working out

  regularly and trying to make good food choices~some days are harder than

  others. I need to update my profile pics to see for myself if I've changed

  any~I still can't see it when I look in the mirror. I think that's the

  weirdest part of wls~when will my head catch up with my body? Sometimes

  it just doesn't seem real.

7~12~06 I MADE IT! At 18mths, 2days post op I finally weighed in this

  morning at 150lbs~WOO HOO! This has been my "ultimate weightloss goal"

  since the beginning and now its here! I'm so happy and excited. I think

  its time that I posted some new pics b/c I've had weightloss since the

  last pic and my hair is mostly blonde now too, LOL! Anyway, just had to

  share my good news for the day!

 3~22~07 Well, I turned 39 today! Only 1 more year till 40~WOW, scary thought! 

I haven't updated in forever, but things are still going well. I've been maintaining

for several months now~I bounce around in the 150's. If I notice I gain a few

pounds then I get a little stricter with my diet. I have an appt with a psychologist

that specializies in eating disorders so I'm hoping that I will find therapy helpful. 

I do think that this is the missing key for me and why I still feel like I'm

struggling alot of the time. I am an emotional eater and have a food addiction

so I guess its time to deal with all of the feelings and emotions behind that. 

I'll update again after I go in April and let you know how it goes! 

4~20~07 Started seeing the therapist and its going really well. I think this will be

so helpful to me for the long haul. Right now she has me working on having an

"attitude of gratitude"~just waking up every day and being greatful for all of the 

good things in my life including what I have accomplished with my weightloss. I'm

also only weighing every other day to try to take some of the focus off of the scale.

I'm still maintaining nicely allowing myself to bounce around in the 150's, but not 

go into the 160's~this gives me room to enjoy life, but pull back if I've started to

enjoy a little too much!