August 15, 2006

60 pounds gone! I do wish I could lose a little quicker but I know that this is normal for me. I'm still bike riding like crazy. Almost every chance I get. My size 11/12's are getting really baggy on me but I refuse to buy anymore clothes until I need fall/winter clothes. I can't justify buying clothes at the end of summer that I will not be wearing next season. I'm so cheap, even when it comes to myself.

Derek keeps telling me to wear a belt. I hate belts! Sure they look great on others but I've always depised them. For me they were always something that made my big belly look even bigger and that was not in my head. I've always had a very big belly. I remember when I was 12 or 13 and I was at a freind's house for a sleepover and people were asking me if I was pregnant. Yes that is an awful thing to say to a kid but we all know kids are cruel especially when your not the "norm".

I'm starting to get new hair in, Yippie!!!!!!!!! So I'm not so paranoid about my hair loss. Everybody kept telling me it would slow down and grow back and I believed them (a little) but that is so hard to imagine when your going bald.

I can't wait for school to start! 2 months is way too long for children to be off school. Even though I will be sad Zach's first day in grade one I won't miss the "I'm bored" "There is never anything to do" "Griffin hit me again". Wow full days of school! Wear does the time go? I'm off to work soon so I should do something productive before I leave. Maybe I'll make some play doh for the kids or what I would really like to do is rest on my bed with silence, yeah right!!

July 11, 2006

Let me tell ya about being able to feel my hip bones and being able to see my collar bone. It's fantastic! To the average person this isn't exciting and it is probably not something one would even think about, but I'm amazed by it. My cheek bones have appeared too. It's nice to see them back.

Plastic surgery is something I would consider. Right now the only area that I feel is plastic surgery worthy is my tummy but I would have to pay from my own pocket and I have to say I would rather get my basement finished for $10, 000 and then save up for a TT. Both options will not be happening anytime soon.

I haven't told many people about the surgery and so I feel a bit dishonest when people ask me how I'm losing the weight. I'm not lying to them when I say low-carb foods, exercise and smaller more frequent meals but I'm leaving out the fact that I had my insides rearranged. I guess I feel a bit guilty to because I think maybe this person would benefit from knowing about WLS. Some may read this and think it's awful that I wouldn't be proud of the fact that I had WLS and want to shout it from the rooftops but I'm a very private person and I've only let a select few know about it. That doesn't mean I'm not proud it just nobody's business unless I feel comfortable enought to share it with the. Phew, I feel better now.

Before I sign off do you want to hear something cute? I was watching TV the other day and my 3 year old walked into the room and it just so happened that Christina Agulara (sp?) was singing and dancing her butt off in a video and my son turned to me and said "That's like you mom". I laughed so hard. God Bless the child I think he needs his eyes checked. Isn't it funny that the most precious people in our lives see us as perfect or almost perfect. Maybe one day I'll see myself that way too.

July 09, 2006

I'm down 55 pounds and feeling pretty darn good! I'm still having trouble with my heart but I'm seeing a Cardiac doctor for that. I went for a stress test and they had me on it for what seemed like forever. My heart rate wouldn't increase fast enough and they kept asking me how much I exercised and for how long. I looked at them like they were crazy. I told them I just bought a bike 3 days ago but besides that not much. I finally had to ask them to stop because I couldn't run any longer and they still didn't get my heart rate where they wanted it, weird!

I can eat everything I used to now. About 2 or 3 months ago I wasn't able to eat any pasta or eggs and I had to be very careful about meat, but now I can and I'm so happy about that. I still have times when I vomit because I ate too fast and/or I didn't chew my food but that is very rare now.

My hair loss still sucks. I purchased Nioxin hair products and I've been using that for a couple weeks but I guess it takes 3 months to notice a difference. I never thought before surgery I would be so upset about hair loss. I thought the weight loss would overrule any hair loss but that's not really the case. Of course if I was still really over weight and losing hair I think I would be one very screwed up individual. Derek has been calling me patches when I get really down, it brings me out of my depressed state and I laugh my head off. I'm so glad I kept my hair long so I can play with styles to cover the bare spots. Losing my hair sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 05, 2006

Wow! I can't believe it has been 3 months since the surgery. Looking back I could never imagine myself at this point in my life but here I am. I had my 3 month visist with Dr. Schram and I'm down 44 pounds. He went over my test results and my iron is now low so I have to start taking pills for that but I guess it is not uncommon for menstrating women who've had WLS to become low with the iron because our bodies don't absorb our flow every month the way it normally used to. My blood presure was so low that the machine tried 3 times to read my pressure but finally the nurse did it the old fashion way. With the low BP and now the low iron it explains why I'm still extremly fatigued.

My results from my Holter Monitor (monitors my heart) which I had done for the second time in April where set to a Cardiologist (sp?) and now he wants to see me. I did have an appointment on June 7 but that got cancelled and I now go on June 19. I'm a little nervous but also relieved that a speacilist in now involved. Maybe I can get off my Atenolol and take something else that doesn't lower my BP and make me exhausted.

I'm suffering from an unfortunate but common side effect of WLS. Hair Loss! It is awful. My hair was the one thing I like about myself and now it is falling out a lot. My nutrisionist said it is a protein issue and I have to increase my intake and I need to take Zinc and Biotin. I'm already taking Biotin so I've added Zinc and I've increased my protien so hopefully in a couple weeks it will get better. I know some may be reading this and wondering why a person would put their bodies thru all this or asking is it worth it? For me it is worth it. It is a small price to pay for having my life back. It is freedom from being over-weight and not feeling the shame of being heavy, the guilt of not being able to lose the weight and not being able to keep it off if I did lose any. The embrassment of my clothes getting tighter and well I could go on about this but I'm moving on.

I also wanted to talk about my confidence level. I actually have some now. I've always lacked confidence in myself. When I was 8 years old I started developing my womanly parts and I became very embarrased and ashamed of my body. There are other reasons behind that but I'm not getting into that right now. You add the ups and downs of gaining and losing weight and you have someone who didn't always think highly of herself. With my new confidence level I'm feeling stronger, happier and it is so nice to have that in my life. Who knows what the future holds for me. I've been given an extrodianary tool to deal with all my ups and downs inside and out.

March 29, 2006

My story hasn't changed much since my last update. I'm still losing weight slowly but quite steady, 34 pounds to be exact!!! I'm still having problems with my blood pressure. My doctor had cut my Blood Presure meds in half but my arithymia has gotten way worse (actually it has gotten worse since my surgery, don't know why). Okay wait, let me back track. The reason she cut my meds down was because my bp was consistenly very low. Since my meds were cut in half the meds stopped controlling my crazy heart rythem which they were supposed to do. My doctor had said "oh it's just like a flutter in your chest, right?" Uh, no it's more like galloping horses in my chest that keep me up throughout the night and also presure in my cest and pain off and on. I asked her about seeing a heart specialist and/or getting a stress test done but she said that I'm not experiencing pain so there is no need. I guess she hasn't listened when I mentioned the pain before but she will when I go back next week. She did write up a requisition for me to wear another holter monitor which I did for 2 days. So I'm back on my meds full force which helps (doesn't get rid of) my ayrithmia or PVC"s but does lower my BP to 90/60 which makes me want to sleep a lot and I feel cold almost all the time and my head feels fuzzy. Besides that I'm just GREAT!

Eating is still a struggle at times. Some days I can eat all my meals with no problemsn and other days I can't keep anything down. Shrimp cocktail is still my favourite. With trial and error I've learned it takes me a good 30 minutes to eat a meal. When I eat with my family I always end up puking or just quitting cause I'm in pain. I think it is because I always feel rushed with the kids there and I think I take in too much air from talking. Now I eat my meat before or after their supper time and I eat by myself. I've had some popcorn which I was nervous to try since I've heard so many different reaosn why I should and shouldn't eat it. It was so good and I've had no problems with it. I've also been eating salads and they taste wonderful but if I eat too much lettuce it wreaks havoc on my bowels. I guess I typed enough for now. Bye!