ObesityHelp

Happy Halloween! 
I thought I'd write another update since it's been about a week.  I had my first appt. with the nutrionist on Thursday.  I'd lost 2 pounds since I saw the surgeon (365)! I left feeling so discouraged and unsure about having this surgery.  The guidelines and things she wants me to work on seem so impossible at this point.  I have to change so many habits.  Of course, since I'm an emotional eater, l proceeded to inhale just about anything that I was told not too.  I also didn't exercise at all this past weekend...even though I have to log it and report back to the other Dr. 

I told my DH (dear husband) that I was still unsure and he got a little worried at first and was wondering why I was unsure.  I told him how much we've spent already on just the pre-approval appointments and he said the sweetest thing to me.  He said "I'd rather have spent XXX dollars and you decide it's not for you than have you go through with it just because we've spent XXX dollars already."  Isn't he great....always wanting what's best for me. 

SO...I go to the second nutrition appt. this coming Thursday.  It's a group class, so I'm hoping there will be other people there feeling like me....overwhelmed.  I keep thinking that if I could make all the changes they want me to, why would I need the surgery!?  Of course, then I realized that I'm going to have to make these changes after the surgery, so why not start now.  UGH...I hate emotional rollercoasters. 

Today is Halloween....and my DH and I bought several bags of candy even though we know that we probably won't get any trick-or-treaters.

Well, I suppose it's about time to start writing some things down.  :-)  Let me fill you in on where I've been and where I'm headed on this journey to better health.  

Beginning of Journey:
In April of 2004 I went to my first informational group after my Dr. suggested I look into WLS.  My boyfriend (now husband!) went with me. We both were scared at the idea of me being cut into, so we decided to try the natural route one more time (good ole diet and exercise). (Weight: 335)

Well, the spring and summer went on we rarely got around to exercising.  I was enjoying fixing him dinners, so the diet part wasn't going so well either. 

We got engaged late in the summer of 2004 so my focus shifted from my health/weight to planning the wedding of my dreams.  In March 2005 we were married on a beautiful day.  I do remember thinking at one point that day, "gosh, I wish I was thinner".  But the joy of the day prevailed and we were off to our Honeymoon. 

My weight hasn't kept me from doing the things I wanted to do often...it's just usually alot harder physically or embarrassing (think bathing suit).  As my new husband and I started to settle into marriage my weight issue started to really show itself. My knees are sore often, so I don't like to go for long romantic walks.  It's difficult for me to fit into stadium seats, so it's harder to go to ballgames.  I have a hard time physically keeping up....and I'm finally frustrated enough to really do something about it.

SO...I approached the subject of WLS again with my husband in July 2005.  After long talks and carefully weighing in all the option and risks, we decided to look into it again. 

I had my first appt. with a new PCP Dr. on Sept. 8, 2005.  She was supportive, but referred me to a surgeon for the bulk of my questions/concerns. 

On October 14, 2005 my husband and I visited Dr. Anez's office for the first time.  He was friendly enough, and said that I had to play the insurance game for the best chance at approval.  He answered all of our questions and was very patient with us.  He was very kind to my husband who asked some basic questions regarding the surgery (that I had researched, but didn't know he wanted to know!). (Weight: 367)

So now I am going through all the pre-op appointments, as well as the 3-month program for insurance approval.  Dr. Anez wants me to go through a sleep study to see if I have sleep apnea. Nothing seems too difficult yet, just is taking some discipline.  I guess I need to learn that now anyway.

My husband is excited about the surgery, as am I.  I do have some fears and concerns, but I try not to let them rule me.  I carefully consider each one and try to get to the truth about each one.  Most of the time it's just fear of the unknown.  

We've decided not to tell anyone that I am on the journey toward surgery.  We will tell my mother after I've been approved and have a date.  My hubby is concerned that she'll be mad at him if something goes wrong (heaven forbid!) and we didn't tell her.  I know that she will be supportive once presented with it....and realizing what I will have gone through to get to the point of having a date.  It will not be "on a whim"...which was her concern when I mentioned it in April 2004.

So, that's the beginning of my story.  I'll try to keep this updated as much as possible...I'm not huge in self-disclosure as a rule though!