Why am I still going through THIS BS IN MY LIFE?!!!!!! Will I ever have PEACE  and HAPPINESS in my life!!!!! Why can't I HEAR from GOD right NOW!!!!!!! GOD KNOWS I'm HURTING NOW!!!! I'm SO ANGRY with my HUSBAND RIGHT NOW FOR DOING ME LIKE THIS!!!!!!! WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME? I LOVE BEING A WIFE AND A STEPMOTHER AND HE TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!! I'M SOOOOO ANGRY,HURT,DEPRESS,CONFUSS,LOST RIGHT NOW!!!!!!. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! I JUST DON'T NO WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! I TRYING TO STAY STRONG BUT IS IT REALLY WORTH IT!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M FIGHTING FOR NOTHING....ONLY TO KEEP GETTING THE SHORT END OF THE DAMN STICK!!!!!!!!!!! ALL I ASK IS TO BE HAPPY..TO BE LOVED...I LIKE HAVING SOMEONE IN MY LIFE...NOW THAT IS GONE... I DON'T NOW WHAT GOD HAS IN STORE FOR ME BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN ANYMORE... OR HAVE I MESS THINGS UP SO BAD IN MY LIFE THAT HE LETTING PAY FOR FOR IT NOW!!!! I'VE TALK TO PEOPLE IN MY CHURCH,FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND EVERYONE TELLING ME ITS GOING TO BE OKAY, KEEP YOUR FAITH,PRAISE HIM THOURGH THIS STROM AND ALL THE OTHER SAYING.... SINCE DAMN SEPT 15,2006 I HAVE SEEN A LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL!!!!! I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.......
My God My God...what a year it has been. Filled with up's and down but I'M STILL STANDING!!!! I still have my days but I truly have came along way. I must admit that I backed away (RAN AWAY) from God,church,praying,friends,really anything that remind my of husband and family.I had became a person that I didn't know or liked.I was doing things that was not me at all.The DEVIL HAD A TIGHT HOLD ON ME.I didn't realize how hurt and broking i was and still am but I'm learning to deal with those things(facing those things what ahard pill to swollow) and knowing that God, friends and church are still here with me is a true blessing!!!! (THANK YOU JESUS) Now the time has come for my divorce and shutting the door on things in my pass,I now really feel good about my future,the road is still cloudy for me but I'm taking it on day at time and one prayer at a time. 
To think when I first started this journey 9-15-06 i was 370lbs and today I'm 170lbs!!! I lost 200lbs GOD IS GOOD!!!! I have so extra skin and I'm working really hard at toning but I'M HAPPY IN THE SKIN I'M IN!!!!! I'm healthy and I feel good no matter what I've lost i know that I have gained something that I will never want to loose again"MYSELF"
So until next time KEEP ME IN PRAYER AS I WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU
GOD BLESS,
KI