Promotion Party on September 27, 2008 9:25 pm
So we went to the promotion party today, and I have to say that over all we had a great time.  I was so worried taking all the kids with us,  but they had a great play yard for them, and they all did so well, and behaved for the most part, so that was awesome.  As we drove up, I noticed everyone wearing jeans and t-shirts, crap, I was so over dressed.  How awkward, but went up anyways. I was very uncomfortable  for the first half hour. Introduced myself, stood there only to have people walk away and leave me standing alone.  So I sat at the table outside and took care of the kids when they needed me. The food finally arrived, so now it was time to serve the 5 kids sit them down, cut thier meat and then eat my cold meal. LOL (always cold meals for me) It was while sitting down to eat  is when I met John's wife (owners of the home) She was so very sweet,  she sat with the kids and myself. We talked  for a while and it was very refreshing. After a while we got on the subject of food, etc, and it was then I opened up to a complete stranger about me looking into and wanting to get WLS.  How was she going to take it. Well she was so sweet, and wished me luck in my journey. I couldn't believe that I was able to talk about it openly in person, it was such a relief, and to have such good feedback was even better.  Time seemed to fly, and it was time for us to go. My hubby has to get up at 4am for work tomorrow, so we had to leave early. I have to say even though there were some awkward moments, and most of the wives wouldn't give me the time of day, she really made me feel welcome and I can't thank her enough for that. 
 So I thank you all who gave me support, and encouraged me to go. I am so glad I did, and am so proud of my hubby's accomplishments. 
I hope you all are having a great weekend.
Thanks for listening.. TTYL 
~Jenn~
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Work related Party UGGGG! on September 17, 2008 12:49 am
So my husband got promoted, and I went to pin on his new "Bars" I have never met any of his co-workers due to my insecurities. It was nice, but I felt like the people around me were constantly looking at me and judging me. AWKWARD! But for the love of my husband and because I was so proud, I went. Now I am told that it is tradition in the Navy that the promoted member use his first salary increase to throw a party, that he must attend. (Duh it's his party) My husband really wants me to come so that I can meet the rest of his co-workers, bosses, etc. I am not that comfortable going, but don't have the heart to tell him no. I went to one previous military Christmas Part when we were in the Air Force, and I pretty much kept to myself, stayed at my table, and felt completely awkward the whole time. It was almost like being the new kid at school. You could tell that everyone had their clicks, and stayed to them for the most part. I kinda feel like that is how it is going to be for this party too. I really don't want people making fun of my husband who is all of 128-135 pounds because of my weight, or making fun of me for that matter. So say some prayers for me, I hope it is not going to be as bad as I picture in my head. Sept. 27th is going to be a rough day!
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My First Step To Helping Myself & My Family! on September 15, 2008 11:45 pm
So I found this site as I was doing research on
Dr. Mark Vierra. It is very hard for me to open myself to others, especially when it comes to my weight.
It was very tough for me to put my weight on here, and then to see my BMI listed, well it was a feeling of vulnerability.
I have read some others accounts, and it helps knowing that there is the support from others who have been where I am now.
I have not yet visited Dr. Vierra yet. I am scheduled to go to his seminar on Oct. 2 7pm at Community Hospital.
Being a mother of 5 and a wife, I am determined to get a hold of my weight.
I recently reunited with a friend of mine I have known since I was 13. We know a mutual "guy friend". When she asked him if he remembered me, his comment was "she was the chunky girl with glasses right". How horrible to be remembered like that. At that point in my life I was 145 pounds. My 10 year re-union was this year, and I opted not to attend. If I was remembered as the "chunky girl with glasses" then, what on earth would they think now that I am 290ish?
I started gaining weight when I had my first child, and it has not stopped since. I am at my heaviest EVER. I am even heavier now then I was when I was pregnant. I my mind I am still that girl in High School, but when I look in the mirror, I am devistated at what I see. Some people say how do you not know you have gotten this big? The truth is, I don't look at myself in the mirror unless I have to. (Putting make-up on, getting dressed to make sure my outfit does not overplay my fat, etc) It is amazing how little you notice something. I have always been heavy, but now realize how heavy I really am.
I will share with you a breaking point that sent me into a depression. I was married to my wonderful husband at the Justice of the Peace due to some restrictions the Military had that gave us 3 days to get married or I had to move out of his Military house. Not having a BEAUTIFUL wedding was both releaving and disappointing. I was affraid to have people stare at the "Fat Girl" coming down the asile, but feel robbed of that experience as well. Having a new family of 5 children (combined) we knew that we couldn't really go anywhere for a "Honeymoon" so we Thankfully got someone to watch the kids, and we went up to Vegas for the weekend. My husband and I are huge roller-coaster fans, and rode the New York, New York a couple times with no troubles. We then went to the Stratosphere. I don't remember the name of the ride, but it took you out over the top of the Stratosphere, and the bottom floor dropped away, and it spun you around 90ft. above the ground. This is where I was "HORRIFIED" They could not close the safety bar of the seat I was sitting in, so they made me change seats with another rider, so that I could sit in the "bigger" seat. They couldn't close that one either, but would not let me get up, as they said they could get it. So for 5 min I had two guys pushing on my stomache and trying to get the bar locked into place. After 5 minutes they were about to get it, and I sat there horrified, didn't say a word, didn't make eye contact with anyone, and just silently cried. You know how they take your picture and then offer it to you to buy, I looked at it, but didn't buy it. There were tears coming down my face, and I just left. I couldn't take home something that would remind me of that experience.
I hope to never have to feel the way I did that day.
I pray everyday for a miracle. I sure hope that Dr. Vierra is the miracle I have been looking for.
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