How hard do I have to work as a DS'er to dump????  But I did it!!!!!!!

I drank about 4 cups of milk last night while munching on candy coated gum drops.  I ate quite a few and was enjoying them very much.  I then went to bed.  But, I soon had to get back up because gas was building painfully inside of me.  I headed for the bathroom to sit on the throne in hopes of relieving some of the gas pressure.  I was able to start passing some gas.  Then, some diarrhea hit.  Then I started feeling nasseous.  At first I thought it was in my head, a reaction to what was coming out of me.  But, the sensation grew.  I also quickly realized that I was breaking out in a cold sweat!!!  That's when I knew it, I WAS DUMPING!!!!  The cold sweat lasted a few minutes and then started turning into something that felt like a prickly heat sweat.  The naussea got to the point that I was trying to pick a spot to hurl on that wouldn't leave me tooo messed up as I was not in a position to get off the toilet!!!  Thankfully though, there was no vomitting and the cold to hot sweat left quickly.  I did feel like I dumped half my wt into the toilet, though.  

There were a few more visits to the bathroom during the night and this morning I'm still having some lingering issues.  Plus, there's just a little bit of weakness.  

Well, that was quite an experience!!!  One I hope I don't repeat!  It's good to discover one's limiits.  Thankfully I was in the sanctuary of my own home and was able to deal with the .. outcome... of dumping in a safe and private setting. 

I am nervous to post this.  The last time I posted something having to do with relationships, it was about having my first date post op, and frankly my first date in a Very long time, and I got stood up.

Here I am again - professing that I am yet again at the door of a new relationship.  I believe that I need to talk about me and not really tell you about my new man just yet.  We are so new, and I am scared.  I'm not panicy scared, I'm more resignedly scared.  Life feels like it has taught me through repetitive lessons that things will not work out for me - things will fizzle, things will fall through, will fall apart, unravel.... that he'll lose interest, he won't love me enough to actually want me... he won't show up... and he won't be there for me.

Enter Sean.  I am possibly, hopefully, now faced with having to relearn what I know about my life and love and men.  I am hopefully faced with learning how to trust again, learning how to accept that someone is in it as much or more than me, learning how to accept that someone can love me as much and in the way I hope they would.  I am at a place of learning that the other shoe does not necessarily drop and that someone good could love me enough to want to be all in - and actually be all in.  Sean and I aren't in love yet, but we see it coming and he's telling me he's not the guy who's going to cut and run.  He's telling me he's the guy that's going to stand next to me holding my hand as the future washes over us.  And, if that's true, I have to do the work on me that will allow me to be able to accept the love I so desperately want.  

UPDATE:  dating saga continues!!!
Well...  my wonderful, charming, loving, attentive new beau was a romantic finanacial scammer.  Yep, he asked for money.  Not once, not twice, but three times!!!  When it finally became clear he wasn't getting any from me, he suddenly had a business friend that needed to wire me money so that I could send it on to the Philippines!  That was my "you've got to be kidding me" moment.  That was the moment where all doubt fled and he was just who he was - a scammer.  

Okay, so I've never been one to have energy to burn.  I'm a person that if I'm up and doing something, it's because I'm making myself be up and doing it.  I'm not a person who just can't sit still.  I had hoped that losing wt (about 110 lbs so far) would help my energy level.  Now, it Definitely has!!!  But, I'm still fully capable, and have, spent the vast vast majority of a day sitting on my butt doing a lot of nothing.  I had begun to think that that was just the way it was going to be for me, I was never going to be a person with a healthy boost of energy that had me up and active without having to make myself be up and doing.

Enter protein -- I'm pretty sure my protein has been a bit low all along since my wls.  But, it has slowly continued to drop so that now it is even a little deficient.  After my 9 mo labs, I was asked to increase my protein intake.  I did make it a bigger focus but I'm not sure that I was really good about tracking it and making sure I was consistently getting in a certain amount of protein every day.  I think I upped it to at least 100 grams of protein at 9 months... an amount I'm pretty sure I was getting anyway.  And, at my 12 month labs, my protein dropped another two points.  So, the nutritionist called, made sure my protein sources were good protein sources (animal based versus soy), and asked me to up it to 150 grams of protein a day.  I'm pretty sure I was getting above 100 grams of protein on many days before.. sometimes much, much more!  So, I am making 160 grams of protein my goal.  I have made this a consistent focus for about a week now... and my energy is increasing!!!  YES!!!!!  :D

So... if you are feeling lethargic, even if you think you're getting in the amount of protein you think you're suppose to, consider increasing it to see if your energy also increases.

Now, I'd also like to say that I made changes to my vitamins by moving over to the vitalady vitamin plan for DSer's.  However, I'm not up and running fulling on the plan yet and while I feel that what I am now taking is better than what i was before, the differences are not extreme.  The biggest increase to the vitamins I'm taking is Vitamin D - I'm taking double what I was and for a few days was taking triple what I was.  But, my vitamin D levels are coming along with a 6 pt climb between my 9 and 12 month labs.  I am ALMOST in the normal range.  Basically - I do feel that this recent boost of energy is directly releated to my increase in protein. But, if you up your protein (up it to 200 grams a day if that's what it takes) but you still feel draggy, look to your vitamins, especially your B-12.  My B-12 is high at the moment... I actually need to back off of it a little bit.  

Well... I'm rambling at this point.  Happy energy hunting to you!!!