October 17, 2005
I came out of my mother 9 lbs. 8 oz. and have always, always been at the very least, overweight. Through the many pounds gained and lost I have gotten larger and larger. I have had the idea of WLS in my mind for several years, but my dearly departed (9/2/04) husband's insurance did not cover any WLS. Learned TODAY that my insurance covers gastric bypass surgery. Contacted Jan, a colleague's wife and inquired about her surgery and doctor.
Called Anthem and got the criteria for gastric bypass surgery. Called MCV and got an appt. with Dr. Kellum, 10-27-05. Can't wait.
October 27, 2005
Drove to MCV to have my first consult with Dr. Kellum. BMI 43, wt 263. hoping to schedule for Dec. 16. Waiting for Anthem's approval. Supposed to lose at least 10 pounds. Got information about http://www.bariatriceating.com"
The huge carton of protein supplements arrived Monday during the day. Can't wait to try them!
Anthem had no records on me. Called Kellum's office and learned that my paperwork is "on the top of the stack", hopefully for referral to Anthem today. Being patient is hard.
Nov. 4, 2005
Weighed early and found myself 5 pounds lighter, after having begun a pre-op diet to lose at least 10 lbs. I began the diet 10-29-05. No sugar at all, greatly reduced carbs and at least 100g of protein a day.
Also, Anthem posted my pre-authorization on their website!! Yippee!!
Nov. 9, 2005
On Nov. 5 a letter from MCV arrived telling me Dr. Kellum needed a copy of my spring '05 gall bladder sonogram. Wish someone had told me that when I had my consult. I certainly would have had it faxed the next day. The nice ladies at my PCP *DID* fax a copy Monday, during my free period (11-7-05). I understand that Dr.Kellum will have to review the report and from reading someone's profile, I gather that that takes severals days sometime.
I am hoping that I can still have my surgery at least by the 19th of Dec. to be able to use my two weeks off for Christmas Break as sick leave. I have not called his scheduling assistant so that I will not be annoying, but today I am going to call and ask her to put a Post-It Note on my record, reminding the good Dr. that he and I discussed having my surgery the week before Christmas. I don't think that will be annoying.
I have stayed on the protein supplement, but notice that I have drifted back to evening grazing--which I have no business doing. I have been grazing on things I am allowed, like sugar-free jello and sugar free pudding, with one exception. I have have some WoW chips the past few evenings. And, even though no-sugar Fudgesicles are not BAD, I am eating too many in the evening, adding calories. I have beef jerky and 1 slice of Swiss cheese at work as snacks, and just don't feel like anymore of that in the evening. I DO have cottage cheese and eggs, and think I better switch to that. I had gotten down to 255, but am back to 258 today. My weight fluctuates, of course, but I also know the evening grazing has been no help.
I had intended to start walking, if not during my planning period, then during lunch. During good weather I can use either the track, OR the nice flat circular driveway around the front parking lot. What has turned out is that I am writing quizzes to accompany a new book I am using fro German 4, and struggling to keep up with grading during both my planning and lunch. I MUST take time for myself. I MUST DO THIS FOR ME.
We have a new principal this year and are trying to cope with numerous changes. I have NEVER stayed an hour after school almost every day of the week like I am doing now. To add to this, I have to develop a Latin course of study, because the pricipal insisting we offer Latin to finish off students who are coming up from the Middle School with one and two years. Add to this pressure to "remediate", and come up with an alternative education program with no extra money, and no expert in alternative ed on the faculty--we are more overworked and underpaid than ever. I personally have 8 class preparations this year: German 1, 2, 3, 4; Latin 1 and 3; dual enrollment Intro Psych and Abnormal Psych. German 4 and Latin 3 are independent study, but still preps for me.
The two weeks I am off post op are going to serve as teacher work days for me, during which I will have to design the new Latin courses. Busman's holiday!
It is because of this stress at work that I feel even more pressured to get this weight off and get healthier. No one is looking after me but me. My two adult children have only me. Their father, from whom I am divorced, has never contributed to their welfare and doesn't even call to speak with them. Their step-father who did, died Sept. 2, 2004. I have often heard the story of a teacher at our school who dropped dead at 40, at school (aneurysm I think). I will be 55 November 25, and don't want this to happen to me ANYTIME soon. The kids should be grown, happily employed, have their own places, maybe families, whatever they choose, and be getting gray hair, or even full heads of gray hair before I die.
To do something for myself, I am going in to work early today to do some walking in the gym. The long-time PE teacher measured the distance around the exterior of the gym floor measured and can tell me, how many turns make 1/2 mile etc.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life (actually everyday is). If it means going in early to walk, I can meet the challenge. Hopefully I will get through to the scheduling secretary today. Onward and upward! Good things come to those who wait.
Later, November 9th:
Walked about 27 minutes--18 laps in the gym. After I finished I asked the PE teacher how many laps made a mile--18 1/4! Several years ago I was walking 3 miles per hour. I should have no problem buildng back up. I am quite pleased that I did as much as I did with little effort. Had I had more time, I would have walked further.
November 10, 2005
There was a message from JoAnn at MCV on the phone. I came back from work too late to return the call.
November 11, 2006
Pre-op will be Jan. 3. The book I have to read is on the way. My surgery date is Jan 16. JoAnn told me that there was no guarantee as to whether I will be the 1st or the second surgery. This surgery date was certainly not my first wish, but will do. It is the 1st day of the second semester, and we change classes then. I will get to be out the first 2 weeks of classes, at least, and will start up when I get back. Now all I have to do is come up with adequate assignments to keep everyone busy for two weeks until I return and can start coursework.
November 13, 2005
Did quite a few chores and went motorcycling twice this weekend. Weighed this (Sunday) morning to find I have lost 10 since Saturday October 29, when I put myselfself on 'the diet'. I call it "my bariatric diet". I eliminated all sugar, eat low carbs, and after the protein products arrived, I began using two or three protein products per day--plus I keep the calories under 1,500. This was all in hopes of taking off 10 lbs before the surgery I thought I would have Dec. 19th. Now the challenge is--add to the loss, or at the very least KEPT it OFF until surgery.
It is odd that I don't feel resentful of this diet. It is probably because I have a specific, medically advised goal. How many times have we all gained and lost 10 lbs? Another reason I am not resenting 'my diet' is I am so delighted with the protein products I received. Many seem to find them quite distasteful--I find the Matrix chocolate quite good.
Cody told me yesterday she had lost 10 lbs which is noticeable when you only weighed 135 to start with. I told her I had too, but that no one could see it. She later remarked that my breasts looked smaller to which I replied "I don't think so". This morning, however, it does look like the left side fits the bra better. Certainly hope the lopsidedness doesn't get any worse.
Chatted with Shannon yesterday. I hope she feels better today.
November 15, 2005
Read the sad profile of Jessica O. today. I am horrified that anyone would let life threatening medical conditions go on so long--horrified that Jessica wasn't a better advocate for herself, AND horrified that doctors allowed her to deteriorate like this. Certainly makes me think long and hard about my upcoming surgery.
Then I read Ron Peterson's profile (Ronnie from Dundalk, MD--P1104892534) and I was inspired by is unbridled love and enthusiasm for his family, life and weight loss--a profoundly greatful man! What an inspiration!
Still on 'my diet', still down 10 lbs. Haven't gotten the book from the doctor's office yet. Was hoping to enjoy Turkey day at my sister's in Silver Spring, MD, but Cody has to work at the Caverns on that very day. So I'll be cooking what I want.
November 18, 2005
Awoke this morning to find I have lost 13 pounds!
November 20, 2005
I notice I handle anger and frustration with my almost adult daughter by having the urge to graze. It hasn't been so bad lately, since I have eliminated sugar from my diet. If I feel the urge just a little, I will have sf jello or pudding. Once or twice a week I will have a heaping teaspooon of peanut butter. This week I started with fat-free plain yogurt sweetened with splenda and some vanilla as an alternative.
When I am at work and not thinking about the things that upset me I have no urge to splurge. I am going to have to find a healthful way of dealing with this feeling when it hits.
November 27, 2005
Was concerned about getting through Thanksgiving bit I needn't have been. On Thanksgiving day I had a few pieces of stuffed celery (stuffed with finely chopped olives in Neufchatel Cheese) around lunch time. For dinner I had a moderate amount of everything, even a very small piece of pecan pie with sugar free edy's ice crfeam. I had turkey, mayo and cranberry sauce the next day, my birthday, too. I feared that I had ruined my almost 4 weeks of diet success.
Yesterday I know I ate under 900 clories, most of it protein supplement. I weighed this morning prepared for the worst---down 2 more pounds for a total of 15 since I started 'the diet'. So I am now celebrating with a little liverwurst, cheddar, paremsan and black olives. Rather a high fat meal, but I am not concerning myself so much with fat as with staying clear of sugars and gratuitous carbs. Enjoyed reading Miss Dolly~ButterflyBlossom's profile. I have been reaidng her postings over on the main board.
Love my doguses!
November 29, 2006
Finally figured out how to get Interests on my profile. I'll know all about this website in 5 years (grin). Have been enjoying reading others' profiles.
December 5, 2005
Planning to attend the Smokies get together. Still babying my leg. Have not received the reading material from Dr. Kellum's office.
Now if I can just figure out how to get interests OFF my profile.
Hope the profile gets spruced up soon. Weight has been fluctuating tnhe past 3 weeks. It has been 248 for 2 days now. Hope this is a good sign.
December 7, 2005
Weight isn't moving but my body is changing shape. I put on the mystery jacket this morning--Eddie Bauer men's XL. Haven't gotten into an XL in a very long time.
December 10, 2005
Have been struggling with the bouncing scale. Cut way back on calories the last two days and lost 3 more pounds! 245! -18 lbs since Halloween!
I vow not to view any more Complications, Memorials or Regrets pages. They only upset me--GREATLY. I have had to battle the fear these pages put in me, for the past week. The arrival of my goal outfit gave me a reality check, though. It fits Cody, 21, size 2, perfectly--even though it is labeled a medium.
December 13, 2005
Spent most of the weekend reading horror stories about WLS. This a.m. I posted about my wavering feelings about WLS. I was very near deiciding not to have it.
The following was posted just after Tuesday evening:
Tonight I feel better about the possiblity of surgery. I am sure my feelings will swing back and forth from now until my surgery. Thank all of you in advance for tolerating this and being supportive.
This evening has provided me with a huge test of my resolve to remain on the diet. My worst eating has always been stress eating. My daughter (21 going on 12) and I have had several ups and downs over the past several years. Today is a new low. I came home, shut the door and she skittered out the FRONT saying 'Bye, Mom' with something in her arms.
I noticed immediately that her bottle of tequila was missing off the kitchen counter. I ran out the front door to engage her in conversation to judge if she was drunk and fixin' to drive.--Oh yes she was. She was SO blotto she didn't know she had spilled a drink on the kitchen counter, and didn't think about taking her truck keys while she was cleaning up.
Things went down hill fast. She pitched lots of things on the floor, cussed threatened, let two of the dogs loose in the neighborhood...and ugly scene.
I grabbed an Achiev drink. A big salad had been my plan but I was afraid what would happen if I attended to food instead of her antics. My concession to a binge was making up some s/f pudding w/light soy milk and adding protein. I ate the WHOLE THING, over about an hour. That, after my daughter left. I had escorted her out the door when my son got home from work (he is good back up).
She stayed in her grooming trailer which has a heated cabin. He boyfriend took her off after that.
In my former life this sort of episode would have precipitated a big binge. I am fighting the urge as I type.
WLS surgery looks pretty good to me this moment. Glad I still have time to continue assessing my life and surgery.
December 15, 2005
Snow sleet and freezing rain, AND the book from Dr. Kellum's office in the mail.
December 16, 2005
From my response to a question by Julie:
RE: And..The book arrived, from MCV
MCV's program is an awarding program as designated by the Surgical review Corporation and the American Society for Bariatric Surgery. One of the VERY strong points of the program is Patient Education. MCVs program produced an instructional video which all patients view at the first consult. Then, prior to pre-op each patient is sent a book (170 pages), that is to be read TWICE before the pre-op appt.
During the pre-op day patients attend a class on this same information written by the staff of Bariatric Clinic, and also a class and evaluation by the aenesthesologist. I have a quiz to take after I have read the book twice. After the pre-op class I have to take another quiz. This is to insure that all patients thoroughly understand, what is going to happen, how, why, what complications can be, how to eat, all about vitamins, post-op care of all sorts, about exercise.....ad infinitum.
We are also required to join the MCV WLS patient support group. We have dietician's serivces for life and physician follow-up for life.
I cannot say HOW impressed I am with their program (and I have worked in 2 hospitals). They leave no stone unturned, no issue not addressed. I have to stay in Richmond for one week following surgery, as a precatution, since I live so far from Richmond.
When I read some OH members questions post-op, I cannot imagine they weren't provded this info by their physicians/dieticians. BUT not all programs are rated as highly as MCV's.
December 18, 2005 Early
Been watching Fittv and chastising myself for having not started some regular exercise--keyword REGULAR. I kept teling myself I would use the treadmill, but I get so bored. I have it in front of the tv (on the other side of the room) and still don't enjoy it.
So, after scoping out Fittv for the last 4 mornings, I started today. I like that they have different shows on one after another. I did 10 minutes of "I want Buns" (even though I don't), 10 minutes with Gilad in Hawaii, 10 minutes with "I Want That Body". Body Scultping is next and then the one I am waiting for, "All Star Work Outs". All Star has a different person and different type of exercise each time. Yesterday it was Belly Dancing and I learned how to roll my stomach up and down ! I am ready for Yoga to come on.
I work up a good sweat each time. I especially enjoy the VARIETY!!
A tip from the show that goes into folks' homes and creates individualized diet and exercise programs---You can use canned food in place of weights. This was their suggestion to the mom they were working with yesterday.
This morning I had out the BIG cans of Hanover green beans
One thing I have discovered is that my thigh muscles, ALL of them, as out of shape. Nothing much phases my calves, but I feel the burn in the thigh muscles after only a few minutes of exercise. Also, lest I think I doing so much better because i can lift my feet to my knees, I CANNOT do oblique exercises fully because of my fat gut in the way! Gives me quite a big target to shoot for
Anything is better than nothing AND I am off for the holidays until Jan 2. No reason not to work out a lot and build some endurance. I also want to get off the last 2 pounds for a total fo 20 before my surgery. My pre-op is Jan. 3 so I am hoping to be in better shape for that. It is the day after I go back to work and THEN surgery will follow in weeks
Also, on a completely diff topic--started IMing a man who lives WAY beyond Melissa and have been enjoying that thoroughly. ADULT conversation with someone my age who remembers Captain Kangaroo well! (My daughter can't understand why that is important and has no idea who Kangaroo is except what I have told her.) While I love and appreciate my colleagues at work we ALWAYS end up talking about students or the school system. I need a break from that. It is one reason I STOPPED playing tennis and started riding motorcycle again.
Think I will transfer this to my profile which I wish someone would prettify. I know it has been over a MONTH and I AM being patient. It's like this--after working in my system for 15 years, coaching AND becoming department head, I finally went to the principal and asked for a master key and was given one. I should have had one years ago since I am a coach, but NOOOO.
Digression: [I had been turned down every time before that, and only learned why at the end of last school year. I didn't realize that the former principal had a problem with me, until he remarked that "we" had come a long way and had worked out a lot of problems. I (CAPITAL I) hadn't worked on anything!! That revelation explained MUCH about how I had been treated while that man was both asst prin and principal. I like the new guy.]
Anyway, this fall I told the NEW principal that it would make me feel like I finally belong (I am from NoVa originally, and there is an 'us' and 'them' mentality here). He gave me that key. And, I belong.
--All that to say, I will feel like I belong here when I have HAD my surgery and when my profile has been beautified.
PS--I feel more comfortable on this board. I am lost on the Main Board and the Singles Board often goes beyond my comfort level. I do visit there some, but am much happier here with the 'home girls and boys'. . Thanks so much to you all.
Betsy is in RMH recuperating from her surgery. I think I will drive down and visit today. I am pondering what I could take her as a gift. Sunday is not a good day for gift shops.
Later--Did visit Betsy. She was showering and felt well, was eager to go home on Tuesday.
Down two more pounds!! Minus 20. Exercised this morning again.
A response to a posting to Stacy M today:
I have the opposite problem. While I was never small as a teenager I was never larger than a 16 (in the 60s 16). My weight fluctuated up and down between 145 and 160. I recall wearing a beautiful pair of leather pants that were a size 10 and a med. motorcycle jacket.
For many married years I was a size 14, same as my mom--NEVER small, but never obese. After my second child as age 34, started really puttin' on. I went back to college, got my master's, planning on divorce. I had to get my self in a position to support my self and my children and a plain old bachelor's wouldn't do that. Sometime in graduate school I was on Nutrisystems Weight loss and lost 60 pounds.
I have a photo of graduation ceremony from grad school--looked good at that point. Moved to Blacksburg, taught in Pulaski, gained again--this time way up to 200! I would have been 38 then.
Moved to the Buena Vista area and went on the Beverly Hills diet program. At that time my high was 200. Met my dearly departed when I weighed 180--and was embarassed because I outweighed him!! Lost down to 145 again on Beverly Hills.
After about 2 years of marriage the weight started creeping up again when Jim decided to go back to cross country truck driving. Over 13 years I have gained 120 pounds. BUT, I NEVER saw myself as that fat and STILL DON'T. I think that is one reason I gained so much. In my mind's eye I was never THAT fat--regardless of how I looked in the mirror.
Jim passed away Sept. of 2004. Tennis became harder for me to play and coach last year. Then, the more I sat around, the more I gained. I was embarassed this summer with my big gut sticking out in front of me on my motorcycle. I finally took a HARD look at myself and determined I was going to investigate WLS this fall. And, I did.
BUT--I hold up my arm now, after having lost only 20 pounds and I think to myself how much slimmer my arm is, and my legs. I have to FORCE myself to look in the mirror to see that I still have a big gut and a double chin which I will probably not lose. It will lturn into a wattle because of my age. If I don't confront my fat everyday, I will just decide I am not THAT fat, and NOT get the WLS I NEED for my health.
So, no matter what size I have been I always thought I didn't look bad at all. I think this delusion assisted with my weight gain.
I AM happy that I have always had high self esteem and a good body image, even when I DID NOT have a good body. it is very hard for me to face up to being fat. The way I can relate to how you feel is--I can't change my body image any more than you can change yours, without a huge amount of mental work and the passage of time.
Good luck on this journey! We all need good luck and blessings regardless of what kind of work we are doing on ourselves.
New year, new life about to begin.
I spent most of the holidays watching tv, reading on OH, reading the book Dusty gave me for Christmas and figuring out how NOT to overeat that day. the last served as a terrific motivator for surgery.
Have been plagued the entire holiday with doubts and fears about possible complications. I have learned to approach these as one approachs distractions while meditating--acknowledge them and let them wash over you like waves over a rock. They will be gone soon.
Tonight I have been going over THE BOOK we have to read twice. Pre-op is Tuesday. Cody is going with me. I have taken the quiz, and have re-read all the patient ed. info for the umptheenth time. Am eager to move this along.
My sub called me Thursday to check dates for my absences. I have to have a special sub because of the dual-enrollment class I teach. It must be someone with a Masters of better. I am happy the asst. principal agreed to bring my greatly missed former colleague Spanish teacher in to take my place. He can't do much with the German or the Latin, but his PhD allow the college kids to get full credit for psych. Too bad all subs aren't like this guy. He is really preparing for all the classes--teaching himself Latin 1, and Intro Psych. Things have come full circle. When I first went to work there, he and I clashed. Now I really miss his style.
Wish I could keep up with exercise. What is a huge plus is my tennis season starts Feb. 27. I should have lost enough weight to be able to play WITH my players, instead of telling them HOW to play and then be able to keep up.
I have been using coffee in the evening to curb the appetite and it is working.
Tomorrow, 1-2-06, is a teacher work day. I can only imagine I will spend much of the day on OH chattering my excitement away.
1-3-06 (2.3 miles on the pedometer)
Back from Pre-op (Long..)
Weighed in happily! From my highest doctor-recorded weight of 267 (PCP) the first week of October I have lost 26 pounds. 241 today!! Imagine my surprise when Jill the, bariatric nurse educator, told us of the new policy--starting today we are on the following diet:
5 protein shakes per day
As much non-calorie liquid as one wishes.
Hm. I am not opposed to weight loss, protein shakes OR non-calorie liquids. Just wish I had known in advance, so that to food I have in the 'fridge wouldn't be wasted. Like my dear non-fat no sugar yogurt. Ah well. It won't be too much lost.
That is the only glitch. No more complaints. Things I have never seen on this site which I learned:
This new food regimen is the result of recent research which shows that going on this sort of diet before surgery FURTHER shrinks the liver and yields better surgical results.
A bariatric full liquid diet and clear liquid diet are different from what I learned these were at the VA Hospital.
All the surgical ports are sealed with surgical glue when surgery is laparoscopic. AND no upper GI. This team sends JP drainage to the lab to check for indications of a leak (amylase). No upper GI unless lab work indicates the possiblity of a leak.
Central line or not was left up to me--no thanks, unless I crash. Also, epidural for pain or IV pcp--IV thank you.
1-3-06 (2.3 miles on the pedometer) Back from Pre-op (Long..) Weighed in happily! From my highest doctor-recorded weight of 267 (PCP) the first week of October I have lost 26 pounds. 241 today!! Imagine my surprise when Jill the, bariatric nurse educator, told us of the new policy--starting today we are on the following diet: 5 protein shakes per day As much non-calorie liquid as one wishes. Hm. I am not opposed to weight loss, protein shakes OR non-calorie liquids. Just wish I had known in advance, so that to food I have in the 'fridge wouldn't be wasted. Like my dear non-fat no sugar yogurt. Ah well. It won't be too much lost. That is the only glitch. No more complaints. Things I have never seen on this site which I learned: This new food regimen is the result of recent research which shows that going on this sort of diet before surgery FURTHER shrinks the liver and yields better surgical results. A bariatric full liquid diet and clear liquid diet are different from what I learned these were at the VA Hospital. All the surgical ports are sealed with surgical glue when surgery is laparoscopic. AND no upper GI. This team sends JP drainage to the lab to check for indications of a leak (amylase). No upper GI unless lab work indicates the possiblity of a leak. Central line or not was left up to me--no thanks, unless I crash. Also, epidural for pain or IV pcp--IV thank you. Didn't need a chest xray because I am so healthy (anesthesia said this, I did not make this up). Almost all patients get a liver biopsy because of the high incidence of NASH among bariatric patients. The good doctor is working on three pieces of research and I gave consent for all-- 1.) liver bx at 3 sites, 2.) sample of small intestine for digestive serotonin study, 3.) storage of blood sample for later study. Was told about how the resected gastric edges are finished. I was quite curious and the surgical fellow didn't mind explaining . She also explained how gastro-gastric fistulae occur. I was so glad she explains whatever I ask, however detailed. I did double check the lab work ordered and found they had NOT ordered my liver panel. I told the surgical fellow that I had no intention of taking iron until I received word that my serum ferritin is within normal limits. She didn't order the panel despite what I said. The NP in anesthesia however, was a sweetheart and tacked the order onto my lab order form when I called this oversight to her attention. I have a family history of hemochromatosis (iron loading disease) and will only take iron if I am told my iron is NOT high.--And really now, I am peri-menopausal and never know when I am going to have period. The woman at the Hospitality House said she did NOT have any paperwork on me, so I had to ask the doctor's secretary to submit all the work again. Cetainly glad I called while there. Next Monday I leave for Richmond right after work. Then Tuesday morinng more tests and the treadmill for the exercise study. This will keep me busy until next SUNDAY. I've been working on this post for several hours, with many interruptions. Am sleepy at last.
1-05-06 Copy of post to VA board Just when I was getting everything settled--the scheduling sec. called me at work to say the doctor will be out of the state on the 16th, "unavoidable", "it happens" she said. I firmly believe that everything happens as and when it should, so I accept this. But, I think, since there were only 2 of us for surgery that week, he rescheduled us to a nearly full week and decided to go to Tahoe or Banff, Aspen. I am kidding but only partly. If it were a family emergency I would have expected to be told that. Conferences are planned way in advance. Maybe he decided to drive a child back to college and make a week of it. The big deal was not that I am mildly disappointed to have to wait another 9 days, or that they had already started me on the 5 shake diet needlessly, but rather all the plan changing involved at work AND at my sister's work. The postponement drasticly changes my lesson plans and the work I need to do with the sub. It can be accomplished though. I was struck with an AH HA moment this afternoon and figured out what to do with the beginning of the first Latin class to be taught at my HS in about 30 years. My sub has a PhD and I gave him the psych book, so I trust he will cover the lecture at the speed I indicate. My sister however, was greatly inconvenienced. She had given me such a hard time about scheduling my surgery to suit her (way back in Nov.) that I decided to have my daughter be my care-giver. The old date was great with my sis when I changed some plans and decided my son should stay at home/work as normal. The change puts my surgery on the first day of class at UMd, and she a a counselor in the College of Education there. She is the major one the graduate students come to to change their schedules. I told her I would understand if she couldn't do this. Cody and I would make out somehow, even though she was petrified in Richmond this past Tuesday. I even considered, very briefly, asking my dad to help out. Janny (sis) came through. She is composing an email for all her advisees telling them that if they even THINK they might need to see her it must be done before the 20th that she will be unavailable for the next 7 days. This is the woman who gives up annual like every year instead of using it all. She is that dedicated to her work. This is probaby a good learning event for her as well, doing something for family instead of feeling she is indispensible at work. I told her more than once how much I appreciate her extending herself for me this way. I will do the same for her if she ever needs me. So, that is my update. I decided to celebrate by declaring my 5 shake diet delayed for a week, by getting a Grilled Chicken Cobb Salad w/Balsamic Vinagrette from McDs. Had my first Power Crunch bar in forever as dessert and extra protein. I ended my eating day with 935 calories, 116 g protein. In my 1 1/2 days of 5 shakes I missed salad the most. I will go back on 5 shakes on January 11 with a grateful heart.
1-8-06 Posted to the VA Board: Recently I have been struggling with bra straps sliding off my shoulders, despite my weight loss. It was getting worse than when I was popping out of the top of the bra! And this is the new bra I found upstairs about a month ago! This morning as I was getting ready to go for a walk I noticed that every now and then it seemed like the girls wanted to slide out the bottom. I tightened the back hooks by one notch and presto--good fit, no more sliding straps!! Had to take up the bra!! Yay!! Second little wow followed that. Tuesday I have the stress treadmill and other tests for the research in which I am participating. I decided to really test myself walking on the flood wall in nearby BV. The city decided to make a 4 mile walking trail on top of the wall--tax dollars finally put to good use. I took my Rottie, who doesn't get out much and we mushed out and on. Great weather, and I didn't let up. Last time I walked for exercise was about a month ago and it was a mile. I did 2 miles this a.m. easily, in 35 minutes. I was so afraid of collapsing in a heap on the treadmill next Tuesday. I know the stress treadmill will be much more strenuous, but now I know I won't fall off or pass out in the first 5 minutes. I never broke my pace. My dog even got to where she wanted to walk more slowly but I urged her on. Later today I plan to take the more athletic dog up in the mts. Maybe I can get in another 2 miles.
1-10-06 Post from this evening: Now how many of us get to the hospital and fall asleep BEFORE the nurse even gets us admitted ? HAHAHA. You can see how at home I am in the hospital. Because the respiratory therapist was late I slept from 7 pm until 9am with an interruption or two. The professor in charge of the study said he was glad he could provide a day's rest and relaxation for me . The report is that I performed greater 100% of the max. expected for a moridly obese person of my age. The stress treadmilll was more of a coordination test than a test of endurance. My systolic pressure never went over 200 at the highest stress level. I only stoppped because I felt like I was getting enough oxygen fir as fast as I was walking. I eagerly await the results of the lab work. Unfortunately the last machine (DEXA) I was to be examined on malfunctioned and now I have to have the test immediately prior to surgery, i.e. the night before, because I am not going back to Richmond until surgery. That exam will show % body fat, body water and bone density. The basal metabolic rate test (this test was fist) they did showed that I went into a resting state quickly and that I was in ketosis. They put a bubble thing over your head and tuck a plastic drape underneath you. Not a test for the claustrophobic. The cardiologist kept asking if I was okay (while listening to my heart while I was on the treadmill). I think everyone expected a poorer performance than I gave. Now I have to make sure I improve so that I can beat all my numbers the next time I am examined. I can't imagine what all these tests would have cost had I not been involved in the research project! I am enjoying this!
1-12-06 Overjoyed to see my profile spruced up! Hoping to see the images soon. Was supposed to be on 5 shake diet again as of yesterday, but ended up having to eat something but was still under 1500 cal. Today I have done much better: 5 protein drinks, sf jello twice 1/4 c of yogurt topping; 660 cal, 115 g protein. This week has been stressful with a trip to Richmond, sub for the second time in two weeks, end of the semester closing grades, altered schedules for SOL tests, car in the shop leaving two cars for 3 drivers and a whining daughter sitting at home. And, my Pop is coming to visit Saturday. Mr. Perfect Housekeeper. Even at 55 I still feel like I am 15 again, and not cleaning up to the folks' expectations. It never goes away. He hasn't been down here since Jim died (9-04). I think we will spread his ashes (on the Blue Ridge Parkway where my mom's ashes were spread) this weekend and then go to Peaks of Otter for a meal. That will knock Saturday in the head. I can probably get Dusty to agree to a meal, etc. Only got a little walking in today. Have been very busy at work. I am vowing to read more VA Board Profiles! I hope I am posting the right way. The preview above does not show what I have added here.
1-19-06 My insane teaching schedule is settling down some. I am troubled, however, with with the apparently typical angst about surgery in a few days. I made the mistake of clicking on a Main Board posting entitled "I regret my surgery". shame on me. I had said more than once I would not read these. I remember clearly what upset me, but I will not empower that thought by putting it in writing here. I am trying to deal with it. I made mention of my concerns to my sister and she beasically said she felt the same way. Hmmm. Cody was great. She (all of 21 years old) said "Mom, this is normal. I felt this way when I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled." Out of the mouths of almost babes. Not anything different from what others have told me but certainly from someone who knows me well, and cares. My sub wants to come up during my free period today, but I asked the secretary to tell him tomorrow would be better. I have been dealing with being positive and getting appropriate work for the Latin students who have no books. I have to devote my planning period to grades this afternoon. I am SOO SOOOOOO HAPPY with my profile. At first I was unable to see the images and now that I can!!!! It is uncanny how much the GWP looks like our dog. My daughter remarked that the dog looks just like Winston--"down to the heart". Amen, it does. I cannot email my thanks to the sprucer-upper from work, but that will be the first thing I will do when I get home. I am a fortunate person with wonderful family and I am so thankful for that, as well. (One thing that does put me off is all the hubub about the conference. I understand everyone's excitement. It is well-deserved. I just am not there right now with all my preparations, both mentally and physically, for surgery. I certainly don't want to begrudge anyone happiness.) Good news, I have lost 34 pounds. I am now OUT of the 3Xs and back into 2Xs from a few years ago. It is like having gone shopping recently! In the exercise depertment--I walked on the Flood Wall with Pop and Winston Sunday. Cody and I walked on the Flood Wal with Win yesterday. It was chilly both days, but we all enjoyed and needed it.
1-21-06 Hope I am getting this spacing thing right. I am learning. I have maintained my determination to have surgery in the face of fears and angst. Went walking on the flood wall with Gypsy Black Dog at 8 a.m. Then, went to school and made up chapter tests for my two independent study developmental psychology tests. Came home intgending to return, but ate some veggie burgers and boiled peanuts and carbed out--sound asleep. Tomorrow I MUST get the plans for German 2 done, hopefully this will be a webquest and a power point assignment. Love my Miss Peektolian.
1-25-06 Surgery date (I am updating this on 2-11-06) I am having trouble knowing where to start typing on the update, now that my profile has been spruced up. Weighed 233 on morning of surgery. My surgery was uneventful. The nursing care left a lot to be desired. I have heard that about many hospitals though. Apparently I had a spell of apnea on the table and came out to the floor hooked up tot he telemetry machine. This was a huge hassle to unhook everytime I had to go to the bathroom. On the second day I drank my protein shake and was d/c'd to the Hospitality House. The HH is a treasure and a blessing. My sister went home the day I was discharged and Cody and I stayed at the HH together. She was most pleasant and helpful. We walked 12 blocks on 3 different days. I had very little discomfort and took very few of the Percoset.
1-31-06 Left for home. It was good to get here. I had to be very careful to keep the dogs away from my stomach. Walked the flood wall several days with Cody and a dog. Made it about 2 miles each time.
2-8-06 Went back to work today. All went well. My sub hadn't done much I had asked him to so all students are behind. I am not going to sweat it, though. This is all for me. Cody and I have started walking sections of the Chessie trail, with Win. I am thankful she enjoys doing this with me. Started puree' diet today. I find it hard to try foods AND drink protein shakes and stay under 800 cal. I am getting everything in, though.
-11-06 Watching the Olympics and reading Gail Sheehy's "Sex and the Seasoned Woman". Right up my alley--I heartily recommend it to any woman 45 or older. I have been able to eat Power Crunch Bars and have to limit myself to 1/2 at a time, so that I keep control of my calories. Yesterday, I tried Chik Filet's chicken salad and diet lemonade--I was ecstatic to be able to eat it again. Got 1 small container and ate 1/2, then 1/2 at the same meal. I hadn't had any food earlier in the day, shakes only, so I was in good shape calorie wise. I have decided to go with the protein shakes morning and afternoon and eat in the evening. This is in order to control calories. So far nothing has nauseated me, and I have to be careful how much I take in how fast. I do not have to eat or drink 30 minutes apart. I can take small sips of fluid WHILE I am eating. I had some unpuree'd Progresso veg soup today. I am trying these things slowly, since I am really not suposed to have them now. Tried Quaker Rice Quakes today--el YUMMO. 9 are only 70 calories and this satisfies some of the desire for crunch. Weighed this a.m. and I am 220, -45 pounds since my highest in the first part of October.
2-27-06 Really had wondered if I would ever vomit or dump. Well, I have forced myself to vomit several times now, when I have gone over that invisible full mark. Found I can eat popcorn and peanuts (?--I am in phase one fo the diet) and that I do not dump on sugar alcohols. SO, I am having to watch my diet carefully and NOT graze or eat more than a bite or two of things I shouldn't have. Have been on a plateau for several weeks. Sat and Sunday I did lose 1 pound and then two. I hope that the plateau is over. I have increased my walking--went hiking with Cody, Gypsy and Win at Apple Orchard Falls Saturday and then Cody, and Win Sunday. This is a much easier hike now than when I was 55 pounds heavier. My weight loss is slow so I am hoping the increased walking will help jostle the scales.
March 9, 2006 While I have lost 61 pounds since Halloween, I have only lost 27 pounds since surgery. I am not depressed or discourged. we all have different bodies and lose at different rates. But, I am not losing much faster than I was on the pre-surgery diet. I was on a 2 1/2 week plateau only 2 weeks out from surgery. I am not happy with my rate of weight loss, SO I have re-evaluated my food diary and calorie intake and exercise. My new plan is: eating fewer than 600 calories per day, making sure I get in 50 g of protein a day but preferrably more, play tennis with the team everyday we are practicing, hike for at least an hour with the GWP every Sat. and Sun. My plan worked well on day one. I dropped 2 pounds I had bounced up, PLUS lost another. I did play tennis for an hour and only had 575 calories 54 g protein and all meds. I want to be under 200 NOW, but am 206. That NOW WOW will happen any day though--I am determined.
March 19, 2006
Boy, have I had a time. My profile past 1-3-06 had disappeared. Thanks to Lei's advice I have been dutting and pasting and I HOPE have gotten all the lost text back.. thank goodness for having upsdate and having sent myself an emai copy each time!
I have posted on the VA board that I was not lsoing as fast as I wanted. I didnto despair, but did want to 'kick it up a notch" as Emeril says. I have cut down my calories and now seem to be losing 2 pounds a week. I only weigh 2 times a week and each time it seems to be down one. It hadn't beend oing that prior to my keeping a closer watch at what I was eating. I had been trying foods like pop corn (yum) and potatoes, which are bsically wasted calories for me. Now I am only 2 pounds from Onderland and am very excited about this.
Also helping is the fact that I either play tennis everyday with the team, or walk at least 1 1/2 miles inside the courts (8) during practice. Prior to WLS I didn't feel like doing the walking even, let alone like playing with my charges.
Took a big jump and joined match.com yesterday. I like the fact that I can search by one word-- in my case 'motorcycle' and it lets me go right to men in my age group who ride. We shall see. I got the courage to do this because the librarian at work is doing this as well. So many folks are meeting on line now, and my one or two previous experiences have been negative. Match.com does have features that let you block people you don't want to hear from and as I already mentioned, I can sort by a particular 'match word'.
Now I am going to see if I can get pictures back on the profile.
PS--my colleague, Diana Sidi, has made all her contacts and her initial consult with Dr. Maher at MCV. She had her sleep study a week ago and is just waiting for the results to be sent to Dr. Maher to get her date. We all recall the pins and needles feeling we got from that! The foreign language department at my school is going to be svelte before much longer!
3-18-06 PHOTOS, I hope!
3-19-06 Sure thought these photos had been reduced. Guess I will have to spend time making them smaller. Anyway. They were taken yesterday 3-18-06, at 202 pounds, down from 241 n the other photos and down 65 pounds from October.
4/9/06 Copy of post to the VA Board:
Fridays we have dress down day, Spirit Day, whatever we want to call it. We are encouraged to wear spirit clothing in school colors. Friday I put on one of my tennis team shirts (4 years old) the girls had designed and a pair of Denim & Co. stretch leggings with elastic waist (of course, what else?).
At the end of the day I realized I looked like the Bag Lady. I vowed right there on the tennis court to get SOMETHING that fit right NOW. I had a variety of things and sizes for the future, but not enough of anything to get me through a week of work now that the weather has changed to spring-like.
I went to Walmart (how can we live without it?) There I found 4 pair of britches, 2 16s and 2 14s; 5 tops, 3 18s, 1 16 and 1 14. If I weren't so self-conscious of my fat abdomen, the 18s would have been all 16s. I do not like clingy clothing on fat, though, so MY fat will remain loosely covered for the time being. These sizes are down from 26-28 (3X) tops and 1X pants. I am down 73 pounds.
I have plenty of heavy sweaters, and now I will have enough lighter pieces to get me through the warmer weather. My next sizable purchase will be in August for more work clothes--much smaller I trust. Yes, I could have gone back to Goodwill, but I had reached the point that I wanted properly fitting clothing right NOW, not after 2 or 3 Goodwill trips during which I spend hours winnowing through racks and racks of clothing. Every spring, I teach and THEN spend 3 hours after school involved in tennis on a practice day. Match days I am gone until about 9 pm (unless in Bath Co. which keeps me out until 10). I am disinclined to stand at Goodwills for hours during my free time. So, HOORAY for Walmart!!
Now to get ready for my morning walk again. Yesterday my a.m. walk was cut short to 3 miles by the increasing rain. Hopefully I will get more in today.
Happy Losing, you all!!
5-19-06 Boy has it been a while since I updated last. Shame on ME!! But, it is tennis season and when I come home after working at school AND on the tennis court I am not inclined to even look at my profile. It is all I can to remember to get my vitamins in.
Over spring break, which was the last full week of April, I worked four days in the raised bed garden I have out front, cleaned out the bramble berry beds and rode motorcycle any day it did not rain. I also walked in G-town, 3 to 4 miles each times AND hiked in the mountains wiht the dogs. At the end of the week I weighed and had dropped to 186! It feels so GOOD! When I returned to work folks really noticed the drop. That first week back I lost another 2 pounds and am hanging right now at 184 which is down 83 pounds since consult.
I am wearing the Walmart clothing I mentioned above. The size 16 Levis and the khaki jeans I bought are now lose enough for me to pull off without unsnapping! Since school is almost at an end I will continue with what I have and not worry about any more work clothing until Sept.
My tennis team is going to the Region C tournament in Galax May 30, 31. We have to swepnd the night out May 29 and 30 because the distance is too great to travel backa nd forth everyday, which we had been doing for the past several years, to Regionals when they were hosted at Radford U. Boo-hoo. This will present challenges for me. I will have to take sufficient protein with me for almost 3 days. i can't afford to take AchieveOnbe for 4 drinks/day so will take Nectar. This is not so easy to mix courtside, however. I am going to have to figure out how to work this out soon.
My colleague and friend, Diana Sidi, is having her surgery June 12. She goes for her pre-op May 30 and just received her 'Bariatric Bible' for our surgeons' office yesterday and is very excited. we talk about surgery and being a loser every day. I find it very supportive to have someone else at work who understands and is experiencing what I went/am through. It will be exciting when we both return to work in the fall as losers!
In other exciting news, Cody has stopped grooming full-time and has gone to work with her brother at the electrical contracters. FULL-TIME, what a BLESSING! i haven't ahd to pay for a thing for her for the last 2 weeks, with the exception of ther Adderal ($175/month now!!!) which she must take if she lives at home with me. She has paid on her phone bill, gotten tags for her truck, paid for a welding repair to the pipes, gotten it inspected, just last night replaced the water pump (talked a work mate into helping her!) and changed her oil. She has steadfastly stayed away fromt he abuser--the ex-boyfriend. She and her brother have been getting along VERY well at work==a sign that both are maturing. He was initially afraid she would do something stupid and get him fired, since he recommended her for the job. She is working as hard as he and making him proud. The two of them worked so hard wiring some new contruction rental units, that they got done a day early. Dusty even got a big raise. Unfortunately, Cody gets the day off, because the next job isn't ready for them until Monday. Still, she is doing a lot to earn everyone's respect. This is a welcome respite for me. the majority of my life stress if related to her growing pains.
Talked to my Pop on Mother's Day. He called to make sure someone wished me a happy day. Like a teenager, he told me he is 'single again' and said he wants to come visit me again. The last visit was prior to my surgery. Neither my sister nor he have seen me since then. Of course I told him he us welcome here. he turned around and invited Janis (sis). This is fine as well.
My 5 month check up is coming on June 9. I check out for the summer on Monday June 12, since I will be missing the last day--altho I will get back in time to attend graduation (We have to).
Until the next update!
June 13, 2006 I am trying mightily to get checked out at work. The summer will be MINE ALL MINE. Not really. I bid and and was accepted for a translation job, translating a technical manual for Mohawk Industries. Since I owe 5 digit taxes to the feds and Comnmonwealth, this will help some.
I weigh 176 now. Most of my protein is coming from Syntrax Nectars and I am having to make sure I do not eat too many calories per day. This is easy to lose rack of if I don't adhere to the food journal. Since so few of my food calories are from protein it is difficult to keep the calories under 800 AND drink 3 protein drinks a day. If I cut back by one drink, then the protein intake isn't as high as I would like.
My work buddy, Diana Sidi, had her surgery yesterday. When I called to find out her room number and speak with her husband the operator said she was in recovery still. She had been scheduled for 7 a.m. surgery. I hope she was changed to the 11 a.m. case and that that is why she was in recovery so late--not because of problems.
Cody is working with Dusty and this is a true blessing. It was certainly way past time for her to pay her own bills. The grooming business was steady enough to provide her with a regular check. NOW it is a great supplement, and helps her not feel like she is just working to pay off the truck and the phone bill.
My BMI is 29.3. I have been merely overweight for a month now. 2 weeks ago I went shopping 9and shouldn't have) at Walmart, succombing to the $3 rack. I got numerous items and am eagerly awaiting the day the ORANGE pants, size 11, close at the top. I only lack about 1/2 inch of snapping and in fact would snap now if I forced them. Tight pants and I do NOT mix though, so I have upped my walking speed to try to give myself a kick in the butt. Yesterday I walked 4 miles in 1 hr and 5 minutes. 2 months ago I was walking 3 miles in 1 hr. Nice improvement.
Went to Dr. Kellum, I thought, last Friday for a 5 month check up (6 month check up, early). The receptionist quizzed me on why I was there. DUH, that's what the appointment card said!! Well, the new little scheduling dude brought me in with new pre-ops, instead of the AFTERNOON crowd at Stoney Point who were to see the doctor.
I was seen by the NP and a dietician instead. The receptionist asked if I wanted to go back this Friday at the correct time. HECK NO--2 1/2 hrs back? I am going back on the 22nd with Diana Sidi, so that her husband doesn't have to take off work to do it. Nein danke, to a thrid trip!
Nancy Baugh, the NP, looked at my abdomen and remarked on how great my skin was shrinking. I was seated and told her that my lower abdomen did have some sagging, stood, and showed her. She told me that was nothing; that I look twice as good as people 1/2 my age. This made a messed up appointment worthwhile. Like JoAnn (Tigger), I may not opt for any PS, if I have not problems with rashes. As yet I do not. Who knows what that skin will look like with another 40 pounds lost? We shall see.
I feel so wonderful! I would have this surgery again in a heartbeat. I am fretting over my hair loss and eager for the day it ceases. I hope that it will have started to thicken up before I return to school in the fall.
I rode to Rolling Thunder the Saturday before Memorial Day. Janny, my sister, was having a reception for her daughter who had just graduated from U of Arizona. So, I was able to kill two birds with one stone. Got a Rolling Thunder t-shirt in a LARGE, not EXTRA Large. Yippee!
Had some wine at the get together and ended up napping for an hour. Ate quickly and hopped back on the scooter and headed home. Got here just after dark. It was a great day!
Wine is one more of those high carb and calorie items that push me over my limit. I have to limit myself on how often I imbibe.
Had a Health Screening done at work. This was an insurance freebie. I thought it was going to be much more comprehensive than it was. I did learn that my total cholesteral is down to 165!! Down from a high of 245. Just wish they had done a triglyceride check, too. But NO! Getting healthier by the day.
Until the next update!
The state trooper came to the house at 3 a.m. My daughter, Cody, about whom I have written, had been in a terrible accident and was severely injured. We did get to see her at Stonewall Jackson before she was transported on life support to Roanoke Memorial.
She had been partially ejected and pinned between the truck and a tree. Her pelvis was fractured and an artery torn. The internal bleeding was too severe and she did not recover from her final cardiac arrest.....
June 26, 2006
I have been up since early. Today I was to begin a recertification class at JMU. My friend and I were going together. Instead, I updated her about this terrible weekend since she was out of town until late last night. She said this article had just come up on the website. (you must type in the ndx=4311 at the end).
Here is the article: http://www.rockbridgeweekly.com/rw_article.php?ndx=4311
You will have to type in the ndx=4311 part on the end. I only wish one child can by saved from drinking and driving by this and spare a family this anguish.
have copied here the large part of an email I sent to Tink just a little bit ago:
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. It is terrible. I have had a steady stream of visitors who all mean so much to me, and who all mean well.
What I am missing, though, is the time I need to just cry and cry and cry because of my profound sadness. I expect though that when I am alone this weekend (Dusty
is going on a trip to CHARLOTTE he had been planning for a year) I will have that opportunity.
The Celebration of Cody's Life will be Thursday, June 29th, at 3 p.m. at the Effinger Fire House, Collierstown Rd. Lexington, VA.
I am posting the arrangements, but am asking forpeople to make a donation to the Effinger FireDepartment, Collierstown Road, Lexington, VA 24450,
in lieu of flowers. 5 young men, all very closefriends of Cody's and fire dept. members has stepped in and almost single-handedly arranged the logistics
of her memorial service for me, including a minister from their church. The fire house is allowing me to use it at no cost. We will be making a donation to
them for their tremendous concern and kindness.
These young men are also cleaning and arranging everything for us, and my high school is providing light fare for celebrants (I am calling this a
Celebration of Cody's Life) after the service. The young men have also said they would clean up afterwords.
I know some may not care to make a contribution to the
fire house so:
Since having flowers sent to the funeral home makes no sense, and the firehouse would probably find them in the way until Thursday. If you want to sent flowers
or cards, you should have them sent here to our home. Traditional "funeral-type" would nto have been Cody's style, rather a small arrangement of brightly colored
flowers, or a house or outdoor plant that we can tend in her honor would be wonderful. Our address is:
1843 Pineview Drive
Glasgow, VA 24555
I am humbled by the depth of peoples' concern and their reaching out to help and share with us, including all my Obesity Help friends
Thank you one and all who have held my family in your prayers this week. Thank you to my friend and colleague for all her visits, calls, food and support this week. Thank you to JoAnn and Tammy C. who made it all the way out to Effinger to Cody's celebration. Thank you to all who sent sympathy and condolences by way of JoAnnn and Tammy. Thank you Melinda for your card.
This has been a long, tiring and emotional week. I pray not one of you ever has to go through this.
I have not been able to exercise at all until my long walk this evening. I ran into two of Cody's friends while walking and had to tell her story again. Guess I'll be able to do that without crying eventually.
On the food side--despite my not exercising I have lost 7 pounds in 6 days. I did get in at least 2 protein drinks everyday, but Monday and Thursday I only managed few small bites because of continuous errands AND visitors. It also feels like my stomach may have shrunk back some. I cannot hold as much at one time as I did in the middle of last week. Last night I was able to sleep 9 hours and now feel much better. I had only been getting 3-4 hours earlier in the week. I turned in early last night, after I felt dizzy twice.
My son has been more affectionate, appreciate, helpful and attentive and has tried to remind me to get in my evening pills. Two diff. evenings I had been so busy I forgot them. One of Co's Effinger friends came to the house this morning to help pull out the old basketball goal and to get Co's grooming trailer turned around and back up to the end of the driveway. Dusty is not comfortable with the trailer and this young man was a Godsend, as usual.
Friends of Co's have invited me to get a bite to eat with them tonight, but I may end up falling sleep first. I never was much of a night owl.
Tomorrow I intend to get in a very early walk. I want to get back to my hiking, but I don't know if I could stand going on the same trail Co and I were on last Saturday. I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow about that. Tuesday is the annual Poker Run for the SPCA which culminates at the Parade Deck (Drill Field) at VMI where they have the balloons and vendors. I have asked my son to join in. We both made the ride last year and Co regreted not going with us. It would be nice for both of us to ride in her honor this year, I think.
Love to you all, and PLEASE hold your loved ones close and tell them how much they mean to you. You never know when your last day will come.
http://images.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/mempix/a10sfrau/lab2.jpg" width="173" height="180">
Because of my very stressful and hectic week I am down 9 pounds in 7 days. I am now -100 pounds from consult. My denim jacket, which I wear riding, is now loose. I would never wish our (my family's) fate on anyone, but I AM thankful that I have in fact LOST my appetite, and it feels as if my stomach has shrunk over the past week. I have not been stress eating, rather stress starving.
I have gotten my protein in, but have been running less than 500 cal many days.
37 pounds to goal.
Love to all of you,
8-12-06 An update.
I have been stalled since the week following Cody's death--the week I lost 9 pounds. regardless of exercise or diet, I did not budge. Just jumped up and down the same 2 pounds for 6 weeks. July was a blur. The majority of each day was given up to crying and mourning, and trying to find out WHY this happened, which I did discover--further abuse from the abusive ex-boyfriend and a hiway chase.
As I have mentioned before, I went to work for Cody and Dusty's employer because her death left him without a trained set of hands. This has been a blessing because I have been able to focus on something besides my loss. My great physical shape has allowed me to run up and down stairs numerous times, bend double from the waist, pull wire, hammer, work over my head, etc. BUT, this has thrown me off my former exercise regimen. I work hard and perspire all day, but I have no idea many calories I burn off during the day. What I DO know is that I feel driven to eat protein for the time I am at work. In addition to cottage cheese or yogurt, I eat 1/2 t