I am currently 28 years old. And I am obese. I have been since as long as I can remember. I believe I started gaining weight around 8 years old, and ever since, have been obese. Fat.

My childhood was seriously limited by my weight. I couldn't play with the other kids because I was to big - and if not because I just wasn't physically able, I was always hated because I was the "fat kid". I rarely ever had friends until I became an adult - certainly none in elementary school, less than a handfull of friends in junior high. Junior high was, and will probably always be, the worse time in my life. I was tormented, taunted, abused, ridiculed, until I finally dropped out of 8th grade. I might write about those stories another time.

High school was a bit of a turn around. 9th grade was as bad as it got since I had no friends, and I wasn't doing very well in school. but then I decided I wanted to play sports. At about 250lbs, in 10th grade, I started taking tennis lessons, and did pretty well. Took PE class for tennis, and made some friends that way. In 11th grade, I tried out for the varsity tennis team, and made it. I played for two years, which was great. I made some friends that way, I think, because people respected me. Sure, I was fat, but I was no longer going to be defined by that. I started excelling in school, keeping a high GPA, and got involved in more activities. 

Sports was my way out. But it was also my trap. I never let my size keep me from doing what I loved - I will play that sport until I die. But, I also had to struggle with the reality that I was fat, and that limited how far I could go and improve. I felt like a skinny person in a fat person's body. But I never stopped.

I went to a junior college for two years, where I did well in school, and made the tennis team. Those might have been some of the best years. I got to play 4-5 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I was respected for what I was doing. (not saying everyone loved it, but the coaches were supportive). Somehow, all that work never led to massive weight loss, but I would slim down a bit and get in shape.

I finished college, went to law school, and that's when my weight really blew up. Law school was tough, and I sat all day, and the stress led me to eat myself close to death. In 2006, I could barely walk. About 380lbs, my feet were killing me, and the doctors suspect I had stress fractures on my feet. That led me to my first serious attempt at weight loss. I joined weight watchers, and managed to lose 100lbs in a year. It was great. I felt so much better, met a guy, got married, and I was pretty active.

But, as law school was ending, and it came time for my last year, and the bar, I stopped exercising and returned to food as my comfort. It was also right after I got married, and realized I made a huge mistake, and realized very shortly after getting married that it would never work. So I ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate. By the end of the bar, I couldn't find any clothes to fit. I was probably a size 30+ and it sucked. I was in so much pain from all the weight.

I moved to LA, without my husband, and for the first few months, dropped about 30lbs or so just working out, and not eating (i didnt really have a stable living situation so it was impossible to eat).

I gained the weight back, and lost it again, plus more, in 2009. I was down to about 330 (from over 400 after the bar) and I was very active, and I was playing tennis again. But, shit hit the fan, things with my husband got uglier, and i returned to my friend, food.

I kept gaining until I hit about 420 in July of 2010. And then I freaked. I am a trial lawyer. I looked horrible in front of juries, and  my suits didnt even fit. So my freak out led to a month long binge (how ironic) but then I got my head on straight (after my feet were so swollen for that month that I couldnt wear shoes and I couldn't sleep because I was so uncomfortable and in pain).

Since July 2010, I've been learning to make better choices. I don't think I am dieting, but I've changed the way I eat. I still eat chocolate, pizza, have some alcohol once in a while. I can't avoid it. But, I've been able to control it.

It was pretty easy for a couple months because work was stable, i didnt have much contact with my husband during those months, and I had free time to exercise. The weight came off slow but it's coming off.  With exercise, along with the weight loss, I started feeling healthier and stronger, which made me a little happier. I made huge strides in my fitness - I actually amazed myself. May 1st, 2011, I completed my first 5K in 49:49 (at 346 lbs). My goals, my dreams are to be an athlete. This was one big step in that direction, if for no other reason gave me the confidence that I can cross the finish line.  I do not need to be on the sideline because of my weight now or any time in my life. Cross the finish line was a turning point in my life.

As a pre-op, I struggled very much now with whether or not to go forward with surgery. I have done amazingly well on my own, but I have the haunting memories of being down this path before. I had planned on waiting until after my surgery to file for divorce, but things took a turn for the worse much sooner than I had anticipated, so I was forced to deal with that just before surgery. At least when I have surgery - on my birthday - I can have a symbolic new beginning and be rid of all the negative things in my life - all my excess baggage (literally and figuratively) can melt away.

By 17 mo, I still had not reached my goal weight but decided to proceed with plastic/reconstructive surgery with Dr. Sauceda. I had my arms, breast lift with implant, lower body lift (w TT) and thigh lift done all in one shot. I will continue to workout/train, and hopefully drop a few more lbs and ultimately reach a weight I can live with. it will be an evolving process, but I am excited for the future. 

Surgery was June 10th - had a rough start but things were okay by 1 mo post op.
Highest weight July 2010 : 420lbs
Surgery weight: 335 lbs
1 mo :  - 20 lbs (315)
2 mo:   - 15 lbs (300)
3 mo: - 12lbs (288)
4 mo: - 15 lbs (273)
5 mo: - 13lbs (260)
6mo: -11lbs (249)
7mo: -12 lbs (237)
8mo: - 5lbs (232)
9mo: -9lbs (223)
10m -7lbs (216)
11m - 4lbs (212)
12m(1 yr) - 8lbs (204)
13m : - 7lbs (197)
14m - 2lbs (195)
15m: -5 lbs (190)
16m - 0 lbs (190)

18m: -2lbs (188)

Nov 2012 - full round of plastics + some regain

21 mo: +12 (200)

23 mo: +2 (202)