already started a blog on February 20, 2010 2:20 pm
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I actually started a blog on another website before I joined this one, on Xanga.com. However, because I made it public on my FB page, and said some things that offended some people that I know (long story, stepmom related), I may just blog here instead of there. Or at least feel free to speak my mind here and just make some general comments on the other blog. I'm sure that, like myself, some of you wanted to start a blog to journalize this step in our lives. I wanted to put all this down somewhere, so that my daughter can read this one day. I also wanted to record this experience because, as well as know, fat and overweight people are treated differently than thin people, and it's sort of a personal experiment of mine to document that. Some of this may not make sense right now, but in my head, it makes perfect sense. I am so tired of this country, and the world for that matter, only classifying thin and skinny people as having eating disorders, i.e. anorexia and bulemia. WHile thos people have food issues and body image issues, so do overweight people and why are we not classified as having "eating disorders"? Health insurance will pay for medical treatment for anorexia and bulemia, but not morbid obesity? Unless you have a heart condition, diabetes, high blood pressure? You all know where I am heading with this. We have to pay more for our clothing, have to buy an extra airline seat. We as overweight people are being ripped off financially. Maybe I am just ranting, but I have had these opinions for many years.
ANyway, just my rant for today. I weigh 247 as of yesterday, and I am 5'9" tall. WHile that may not be overweight for alot of people, and I have so many people telling me that I don't need this surgery, they don't have to live in my body. They haven't been overweight for their whole life, been shunned and discriminated against, not asked to dance or for a date, used for easy sex because the fat girl will say yes, been turned down for a job because they weren't hot enough, etc. I went to bartending school while I lived in Vegas, to try something different outside of my comfort level in the medical field, and I am a great bartender. I am social, fun, funny, love talking to people and make great drinks. But stupid me, couldn't get a job in Vegas and couldn't figure out why. Then it hit me and I felt like a complete idiot. I wasn't blond, didn't have a size 3 waistline and big boobs, and wasn't 24 years old. When we moved back to California, I did get a bartending job, actually a few of them and just chalked it up to my sparkling personality, but deep down I knew that I would never get the "prime" bartending shift, or work in a club at night. Not that I wanted to at this age, and bartending was more of a hobby for me than anything else, but the realization remained the same. You aren't young anymore, you are fat, and having the most sparkling personality and being the nicest person you can be is not going to change that fact.
Anyway, enough of that. I have to start getting ready for work now. I only have 2 more days of work left, then my surgery is Tues Feb 23rd.
I am really enjoying this site and have absorbed a wealth of information. I have been ripped a "whole new one" for a post I made the other day, but it seems as if all has been forgiven (I hope) and I look forward to my recovery and sharing it will all of you. I hope that one day I can return the favor of good advice to new patients who will just be starting out like I am now. Thank you to all of wonderful folks that have shown support and God bless all of you.
I will return shortly. Feel free to email me here, share a post, friend me or find me on Facebook. I am under firstname.lastname@example.org. That is also an email address as well. It's one thing to have family and friends support me in this journey, but it's a whole 'nother thing to have support from people who have gone through the same thing.