ObesityHelp

Thanksgiving went well for me.  My focus wasn't just about the food and how much of it I would or would not get to eat.  My focus was on spending time with my loved ones.

This was my first thanksgiving being banded so since our whole lives are about food here is what I had to eat:
I had some dark meat it seemed much more moist then the breast meat.
I made some cornbread stuffing very tastey.
Mashed Pots and some peas.
I also made some pumpkin fluff so I could get that taste of the pie without all the fat and calories.  It was my trade off.

Now that - that is out of the way. I think I finally have restriction but I don't dare say "sweet spot" because then tomorrow the restriction will be gone its a tricky little thing and as soon as I think I know what its doing it changes things up on me again.   I try very hard to stick to the protein and healthy carb foods. But those damn sugars and carb heavy foods keep finding their way into my diet.  The good news is that I don't eat nearly as much as I use to of those foods and that I do continue to lose weight.  I will forever be learning how to adapt and I think I'm doing a pretty great job.  I can't say I'm over joyed with my progress but I am very happy about it.  

Still working on getting exercise in I really hate it.  I bought a thigh master from Ebay WOW I'm finding new muscles I didn't even know I had.  I use it on my legs, arms and I do crunches with it while sitting in a chair that way I don't hurt my back.  

Right now its all about progress and I'm making all kinds of progress.

Well it was a good week for weight loss 3.6lbs this week ~woo hoo!

Emotionally this has a been a hard week for me.  It was brought to my attention this week that the people in my office think that I've become abrasive, pushy and a "know -it-all" since I've started losing the weight. I guess the more confident I become someone people don't like or is it just the way they react to me and its not me.  

My husband thinks that its their problem not mine.  I want to fit into my work environment well.  because I have to spend so much time with these people.  So I'm going to try to tone things down a bit and keep to myself for a while.

But this whole thing has me thinking is my changes for the good or the bad and I don't mean the weight loss because I know thats good.  But the non physical changes.  Sometimes I still think the way I did before the weight loss and other times I'm very proud of my accomlishments and I should be.  But could this new pushy/abrasive person be my new shield since I no longer have the fat.  If I make it so people don't want to be around me I don't have to worry about what is going on.  I've always felt like an outsider maybe I'm trying to keep things that way - it feels safer to be the outsider.

How is it that I want to make everybody happy and fit in and in the same way I want to remain not attached to anyone.  All I can say is that I feel afraid of the changes and I know they will keep coming because that is what happens "change happens".  I'm learning new things about myself all the time.  I guess I just need to sit down and relect on just how much I want to work with these people or not.  I mean I am a Temp and my contract is up in April and maybe it will be a good thing if I don't get hired on. Even thou I love my job sometimes things just aren't meant to be.  Something I will have to start really thinking about over the next few months.  I clean start somewhere just might be good for me no one to compare me to the old fat me.

Other news in my life:
I'm currently looking for a house our first house.  I"ve found a couple that I like but I'm trying to get the hubby to like them just as much.  This process is much more difficult than I thought it was going to be.  I guess when we see the one we will know.

I'm so looking forward to Thanksgiving this year and its not about the food part of it.  I get to see my sister and my nephews on thanksgiving they are going to join us at my In-Laws - it just makes me feel so good that she is coming to see me.

In December we are going to travel to Washington DC for a long weekend.  For the first time in my life I am starting to like to travel and visit new places.  I think some of that has to do with the fact that I fit more comfortablly in the airplane seats.

Well that's the news in my life currently kinda a book this time around but sometime just putting it all out there is good for me.  Even if no one reads it - it really helps me to get it all out.  Thanks for reading if you did just spend a while reading this long post.

I continue to struggle with my carbs.  Damn sugar it's an addiction really.  I had a weight gain this week of 2 lbs.  I also still don't have my "sweet spot".  To say the least I'm frustrated.  I know the steps I need to take to have sucess but its just easier to grab and eat rather than sit down and plan my meals.  We eat out too much and I know that those foods are full of fat but it tastes so good.  I need to get back to cooking at home and keep my portions small.  On a good note I do eat less than a did before.  Instead of the whole pint of Ben & Jerrys I now get the Blue Bunny Personals it's 8 oz of ice cream, also I buy the small 25cent bags of chips instead of the big bag, it really helps even though I shouldn't even be buying that stuff.  When I look at the big picture I am making progress I just thought it might have been a little easier than this.  When I went through the intial process everybody made it sound like I wouldn't even want those foods once I started to get restriction so not true.    I guess its just time to get back to basics and track my food.  Not finish my plate just because it tastes good when I get that full feeling I really need to stop eating. 

If your reading this and an experienced bander can you please give me some advise on how to get back on track or some tricks that you have learned along the way.  I'm really in need of help.