one week since surgery on November 26, 2011 4:12 pm
I had my RNY on Nov. 18 2011, it has been one of the hardest things i have ever experienced. I am trying to be positive and the scale is helping me to stay focused. I started at 330, lost 25lbs pre-op and gained 12 in the hospital. And as of today i am at 301. I have been having trouble getting all of my recommended protein in, but i am starting to tolerate things better. I still have some nausea, but it's getting better everyday. I never imagined i would be so sick, i just felt like I had the flu for a week. i have come to terms with I'm going to need time to heal myself, and i have been relying on everyone for almost everything, and it's starting to annoy me. lol I did go to the grocery store today, and it really wiped me out. But i guess one day at time.
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less than 1 week till surgery !! on November 13, 2011 7:04 pm
this past few weeks have been very trying. I've been getting ready for the 2 week liquid diet and it has been so hard. I am struggling with my emotions, as much as the hunger . i feel like I'm letting my family down, by not cooking and grocery shopping for them. my husband has been doing it all. we don't even sit down together because i couldn't be around the food. the food was killing me, literally. I have been in control of my family always, money, dinner, groceries, and all of a sudden i asked my husband to go to the grocery store and he spends more than i ever have, i about broke down, i was giving up everything i had , all my power. he did a good job, and has been very helpful, but my mind is really being evil. I don't want to be but i cant help it. i love him. i wanted this, but i feel like I'm giving up everything and I'm feeling sorry for myself. He will be rewarded with a new slimmer wife, and yet he does what ever he wants with out ever stopping a thing i just have to keep reminding myself i want this I'm doing this for me, and my kids, and I'm changing me, i decided it, he didn't. I will be successful, and I'm ready for change and if its not embraced by everyone, then so be it. But i need to get past this pitty pot I'm on, and let it empower me, I guess if i can make this my driving force, then that's what its all about. i will be strong, i will be who i am. I will be accountable for my actions, starting today.
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