ObesityHelp

I'm 28 pounds from goal!  Depending on when we calculate from (Starting Weight not being the same as my Highest Weight), I am 14 pounds from the CENTURY CLUB!
  

Mirror, mirror what’s this I see
But a completely new person looking back at me
I smile at her and gestured a "Hello"
She smiled right back and said, "Don’t you know?"

"We favor each other," as she smiled and turned playfully mimicking my every move.

We tried on a size 14 and she scolded and smiled
"Those pants are definitely wrong," as she laughed with delight
"Why how could this be?" as I looked so amazed
For just the other day they were all the rave

"Well, guess what honey," as she smiled so bright
"You’re in a size 10 today and it’s looking ALRIGHT!"
--taken from dreamgirl119

So the 13/14s officially got baggy and we had 70 degree weather today.   I had NOTHING to wear so I threw on a top that fits, shoes and a size 14 jean skirt.

Met up with my size 5 shopaholic homie and spent $100 in TJMaxx--everything was clearance $12 or less so I felt like I did something today far as shopping. *teeheehee*

What size do I wear right now?  A size 10 in misses, a 12 in juniors and a "L" in tops!

You talk about someone in disbelief...I had to keep on putting things on to accept the fact that not only were my 24s, 22s, 20s, 18s, and 16s behind me, so were my 13/14s.  *moment of silence for my old sizes*

OK, I'm over the old sizes and happy about the new ones!  

Jazzercise is great and I will do that when I want to change my pace.  Right now, I want that strength conditioning that Dave's sessions gave me when I was working out to lose weight before deciding on WLS.

If he gives me any intolerable bull because he disagrees with what I decided, then I will go elsewhere but I think he will get over the fact I had WLS.  He is coming from a place where people get in shape the traditional way so I can understand his disappointment that I didn't stick with losing my weight the "traditional" way but he has to accept people do what's best for them and in his field, he should be able to work without personal bias with any client.

Tomorrow will be the first session for me after all this time!  Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  In time, I am going to be sooooo tone!  I can't wait.

 So I'm going to Jazzercise instead!  Better atmosphere, positive atmosphere and sounds fun instead of military style.

pearlyq11 has been going for like 5 years and loves it.  She was back like a couple of weeks after surgery and her progress is going great.  I know that food choices and working out is the best way to work our tool and she is proof of that.

I thought I was HER angel but she has been mine in more ways than just for support!

...sometimes but I'll still see him Monday.  I gotta get moving.  I'm 9 weeks behind.   

His personality can't hold me back from getting fit.  I'll just ignore his ass.  Professionally, he is the bomb but I can do without his mouth sometimes.  Nothing against marines but he's a marine and they can just be harsh for the hell of it in my opinion.  Like, do they get something out of that?
 
 

I'm just excited to see my BMI leave the "Obese" range and enter the "Overweight" realm!   

That's it for now.  Carry on! *teeheehee*

 I am finally feeling my energy coming back.  This past weekend (2/9 - 2/11), I was in New York City seeing The Color Purple on Broadway with two of my sisterfriends.  We needed the getaway as well as the entertainment so it was a trip very well worth it.  I only felt like I needed to rest once and that was Saturday, the first and only full day we were there and did things starting in the morning by train (it was better to leave our car in the garage instead of worrying about parking wherever we went).  By about 6pm, we made our way back to our hotel before going to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum at about 8pm.  I rested during that period after I ate A LITTLE Jamaican food (rice, curry chicken & a piece of plantain).  We did A LOT of walking and I was OK.  I felt like I was a baby taking her first steps in the world again because I felt "normal"--not pooped or uncomfortable and all those other feelings from having surgery.

The weekend before this one (2/1 - 2/4), I was visiting pearlyq11 in Texas.  The visit to her house, I must say, really made my being able to enjoy myself in New York possible because I felt SOOOOO comfortable at her house and was very well-rested.  She had to rest because she was post-op and though I was 8 weeks out by then, I needed my rest from just everything in general after having the surgery, taking care of my family, getting back to work, etc.  It all became a lot and not having the full energy to deal with it all, Pearl was a sweetheart to have me and I didn't want to leave!  I felt so at home.  She is a beautiful person inside and out and a wonderful woman!

February 10, 2007 - I spoke to Pearl while I was shopping on 125th! *teeheehee*  She is still doing well, still seeing what foods feel like what and going through the phase where your energy is just really low but other than that, she is the upbeat spirit that I know her to be.  She's troopin' this surgery even there are a few bad days sometimes mixed in with the good to come.

February 4, 2007 - Time for me to go home.  *wahhhhhh*  I really did not want to leave and then my flight was so early, we headed to the airport at like 4:30am.  Pearl was doing great when I left and I figure over the next week while I am getting settled back at home and going to New York, she would be getting her rest.

February 3, 2007 - Pearl can come home!  Yayyyyyyyyy!  She is doing very well by now and happy to be back home with her family and in her own space without nurses and doctors disturbing her every 5 minutes!  This was our first full day at the house hanging out--I went out on my own for a little while though.  Let me tell you how bomb Pearl is...even when she was in the hospital, she managed to hook me up for a date with a marine.  Stop playing!  *teeheehee*  We had lunch and it was nice.  I was nervous because since losing my weight, I haven't much "put myself out there" and she was like, "Go 'head.  Have fun.  Enjoy life!"  I did and I'm glad she encouraged me.

February 2, 2007 - Pearl still couldn't go home. :o(  I was sad but I spent the whole day there with her.  She was the REAL patient but I was sleeping my behind off in there too. *teeheehee*

February 1, 2007 @ 4:00pm - I arrived in Texas and went straight to the hospital to see how Pearl was doing.  She was looking like the sexy Mama that she is but you could tell that she wasn't comfortable.  However, she has the greatest spirit and she still talked and laughed (carefully of course).  We were just hoping she would get released for the next day (Friday).

January 31, 2007 - Pearl called to tell me that she was back in the hospital!  I was very concerned about her.  She explained how BADLY she was feeling.  I am glad that she didn't ignore how she was feeling as it can be easy to do when you don't want to make a big deal out of everything but at the same time, you don't want to underestimate something that could be major.  I couldn't wait to get there to see if she was going to be ok.

January 26, 2007 @ 8:30pm -  Pearl did very well today!  She had a little more pain in her stomach than she did yesterday but it could be attributed to the gas we often feel after bypass.  She is walking around to keep that circulation going and that will help with the gas.  She is settled into her permanent room to continue with her recovery.  Hopefully, she makes her way home sooner than later but if she must remain for the latest, that could be about 5 days which would send her home on Tuesday.  Let's keep her in our prayers that she gets to go home before that!  Her hubby is by her side tonight once again tonight so I will come back with an update tomorrow.

January 25, 2007 @ 8:00pm -  Pearl has had her first 1/2 day on the losing side!  Yayyyy!  The first full day after surgery is spent in the ICU recovery room but this is a normal procedure.  She is doing absolutely fine and has so much support including myself.  Her husband has been by her side all day and tonight so that alone is a spirit lifter as well.  She just might surprise me and have me out and about with her sooner than I thought with spirits as high as hers!  Well, she needs to rest for the night as well as myself so I will update you on her progress tomorrow.  I think by then, she will be strong enough to have a word for you all who are pulling for her and keeping her in your prayers!

January 25, 2007 @ 11:00am -  Pearl is out of surgery in the ICU recovery room.  She spoke a little bit but she is pretty much "out of it" with the anesthesia.  Praise God that everything has gone well with her and I will be updating again soon when she has rested.  God has brought her through something major!  She is blessed.

January 25, 2007 @ 8:00am - Pearl is in the surgery room.  Everything is going fine...the surgeon nor his team has come out to report anything going wrong so she is in there being a soldier.  They said it will be about 2 - 3 hours so I will report back again

January 25, 2007 @ 6:55am - Pearl is entering Darnall Army Hospital in very good spirits as we speak.  She is a strong woman and a wise woman.  God is with her always and rose with her today to guide her mind and she has no fear.  Pretty soon, I will be posting her moving to the recovery room!  Thank goodness for wireless internet access. :O)  I shall return to keep all her OH friends posted on her progress and leave a message from her to everyone.  You can leave comments just below this blog post and I will be sure she gets them all.  Keep her in your prayers!

 I can't even say much because you all KNOW how much this means after we've been 199.9+ pounds for-like-ever!

I went to see my nutritionist today and was weighed on the scale (which is the scale I rely on).  When I saw 195, I could not contain myself.  I didn't catch "the feeling" but I was overcome that this day came and couldn't hold in my emotions.  (Woo, I'm sleepy from such an emotional day).

So, I've now been advanced to what my program calls Stage 5 even though I started on it myself last week.  I want to see how I do with oatmeal tomorrow.

I'm no longer AS TIRED as I used to be so I think I have enough energy to see what size I wear.  I know all my 24X stuff is too big and as slouchy as my 18's and 20's have been on me, I think I am a 14 or 16 by now.  Maybe I will have the energy to figure it out in my favorite clothing store--still Lane Bryant. :o)

I can't wait to see my Girly PearlyQ in TX.!  I haven't been to TX since '99 and it's doing nothing but snow squalls up here.  I look forward to supporting her!  I love the OH site for the opportunity of meeting a wonderful person who deserves all the success her blessings are bringing her!

 I knew something was UP with me but I couldn't put my finger on it.  OFFICIALLY, I won't be advanced to Stage 5 (all foods but still things are limited until I am 3 - 6 months out) until I see my nutritionist on Tuesday the 23rd.  But a part of me was feeling a little...childlike dare I say it...in terms of instant gratification--not wanting to wait; wanting NOW what I know I am going to get. *teeheehee*  On the way out the door after my two week follow-up, I should have made my next appointments but I was in a rush so I was supposed to just call when I got to work.  Well, I forgot for like a week.  When I finally called, everything they had open was a week OFF of my 6th week (this week).  So when it officially became my 6th week and I was looking at my surgery handbook, I could SEE what I would be advanced to.  Now, part of the criteria of being advanced is doing well with the foods in the Stage thus far which I am.  Chili has been my best friend despite the constipation--no the chili didn't CAUSE the constipation, it just happened to be the solid food used in the process. :o(  I still love chili.

I was getting this urge to just eat a Stage 5 meal...something similar to one of the sample menu items in my handbook.  They give sample meals to just kind of give you a snapshot of what a Stage 5 diet is and how it can look in a day.  They give you three example days so it is clear that Stage 5 is more like normal eating with the variety--vegetables are back, fruit & fiber are back, a little rice, a little pasta, a little mashed potatoes, a little dry toasted whole wheat bread...

I had a hankering for the sample lunch meal with the 2oz of tuna with the tbsp. of fat free mayo and 1/2 slice of dry toasted whole wheat bread.  Instead of the tuna and mayo, I put 2 thin slices (2oz?) of honey turkey deli meat on 1/2 slice of dry toasted whole wheat and it toook me 16 minutes to each my sammich!  It amounts to 1/4 of a sandwich but my thing is, I haven't had a sandwich in 6 weeks and as small as it was and as long as it took me to eat it, I was happier than a pig in mud!

Now that I wake up this morning with my period, I SEE why the urge overwhelmed me to have that Stage 5 taste so urgently.   Pre-op, I remember getting my period and eating everything under the sun for the first 3 - 4 days before my period (especially sweets).  Post-op, all I wanted this time was a little sammich.  *teeheehee*  I really had no FOOD-RELATED warning that my period was on its way and since my cycle JUST changed in November, this is only the third time I've gotten it in the teens...all year it's been in the early 20s of the month so I forgot it was soon coming and had none of my usual warning signs except the hankering yesterday of wanting to make my mini sammich.

It's real crazy the way your intestinal hormones change because of the surgery and your tastebuds want things that you wouldn't expect during a time like this.  Last month, I was exactly two weeks out so to eat meat was exciting but I had NO KIND of craving or hankering yet.  I guess that's what makes this month stand out.  I'm recovering and noticing things now.  A mini sammich is better than a whole sleeve of Oreos any day so...

I'LL TAKE IT! :o)

 

I've been feeling well but if you don't like TMI (too much information), I would advise you to skip this whole paragraph.  Last week, I finally had to "go" (do #2) after about really, three weeks.  I was concerned but I knew what it was from because of the topic covered in my support group earlier in the week--DEHYDRATION.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to get in your fluids on a daily basis.  I would find myself talking on the phone for 15 and 20 minutes, never taking one sip of water. *shame one me*  Those are the ways that I easily mess myself up.  The symptoms of dehydration are NOT cute contrary to how we are feeling as we lose our weight and feel better about ourselves.  Constipation, dry skin, dry mouth/throat especially in the middle of the night...even headache.  Nope...not cute.  So, I am doing my best to sip ALL DAY LONG.  Right now, I have a scoop of Citrucel in my water and I plan on doing this at least 2 - 3 times a day until I notice that I am "going" regularly.  While we don't eat much, we are eating and there's waste from solid food, I don't care if all I ate is a morsel.  If it's been two and three weeks, something is up.  Don't be like me and find yourself on the toilet finding out you're constipated the hard, painful way.  I had to lie on my side my bum-bum was hurting me so bad. *teeheehee*  I only laugh now but that day...well, two days (the first day, I was like, "Oh no.  Forget this...I can't go through this.") were unforgettable and if I can help it, it will never happen again.  If it does, then at least I know I've done my best and didn't necessarily bring it on myself.

My other thoughts are that having the surgery or any other means of losing weight does not mean your life is going to be peaches and cream.  Things that were going wrong before can and may continue to go wrong.  Relationships that weren't working out, can and may continue to not work out (in which case, you need to let go especially if it is a relationship with the opposite sex).  Kids still drive you up a wall, work still doesn't appreciate your extra efforts, the world still goes round and round! *teeheehee*  So, if you are basing any level of happiness on your weight BESIDES the numbers on the scale going down and you FEELING PHYSICALLY better, you need to cut that out like RIGHT NOW.  Losing weight doesn't change the fact that life is like a box of chocolates: you just never know what you are going to get from day to day.  All you can do is plan to be strong about life...it took courage to have surgery, you ARE a strong person!

 I can't believe I'm getting ready to admit to this but I did TWO really weird things today.  So, I made Sunday dinner (well, nothing big but just the fact that I am back to cooking, my kids are ECSTATIC *teeheehee*).  I baked chicken breast with my special mix of seasonings so I can take the juice and mix it in to flavor some long grain rice and string beans.

I ALWAYS loved my flavored rice with lots of pepper but, I can't have rice.  OK, fine.  I'm over that...I was just missing being able to eat everything with my kids.  I take me a piece of chicken, I'm chewing chewing chewing.  Boring.  I get about an ounce of it down, do something and try to get another down but by now, it's gotten on the "dry" side.  I squirt a little mustard on the plate (a little too much).  I eat about another ounce and it was pretty good.  I'm used to chicken with Miracle Whip, you know on a sandwich but never with mustard but I needed something to moisten it back up (remember, all the juice was poured into my rice).  Couldn't really get too much more chicken down even though I was still hopeful to.  Eventually, something just came over me and I stuck my finger in the mustard and ate the mustard.  Now, I'm a lady so I don't make it a habit to dip my finger in things like that but I couldn't resist.  It was funny! *teeheehee*

So, I officially think that on occasion, I may find myself eating mustard plain because, well...I liked it.  *hahaha*

Ok, so next, I'm putting food in the fridge after everyone's eaten.  Some rice left and a few pieces of chicken.  I put it all in one pot and my MIND (not my mouth or my stomach) was like, "Don't you miss the rice?  Mmm...the juice was good when you tasted it before you put it in the rice.  Take a bite!"  I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  But before I put it in the fridge, I took a bite, chewed the rice up and split it all out.  Every single piece...straight in the trash.  Hey, there's no rule on chewing something and spitting it out.  I'm just happy I didn't eat it.

In this process, your MIND can really mess you up.  Everyday, I will pray for strength of MIND because one of these days, especially when I get further out, I may very well eat something and swallow and eat some more.  That, we DON'T want to do. ;o)

 I was talking to BeautyforAshes and was reminded that I want to share a rock climbing story but first let me say today was GREAT!  For breakfast, I ate a 4oz container of unsweetened applesauce (even though it took me forever compared to before surgery where I'd have been done with the container in 2 heaping spoonfuls in 2 seconds!).

For late lunch (I had errands to run and ran behind my food schedule)...you guessed it CHILI (it seems to be the only hearty thing that agrees with me right now that contains a source of protein in the ground turkey & beans).  But after speaking with my nutritionist regarding the nausea the other day, I found out I could have low- or no-fat cheese.  I bought some lowfat cheddar.  I sliced ONE thin/medium slice off the block and added it to my 1/4c. of chili this time today. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  I was happy like I had just had a slice of chocolate cake & whole milk! *teeheehee*

So, basically, it IS getting better. :o)

Now about the rock climbing.  I was very close to a friend who was taking courses at the college I work at.  He was an OLDER student but basically that just meant that he was MY AGE. *haha*  We were always doing something together or talking that people thought we were a couple but we weren't and we were never romantic in any way shape or form.  I did have a slight crush on him but then, I'd never been treated so cordial and nice by a guy before, a crush is the only way I could describe that "extra" I was feeling on top of the platonics.  He was like one of those bohemian/spiritual brothers.  We loved each other like family.  Well, one day we were at a fair that came to campus.  One of the activities was a rock climbing wall.  We stood in line and I was excited.  Unsure but excited.  There were three columns so basically you race against the other two people to win if you get to the top first.  Everyone's getting harnassed up when the activity operator is reciting the rules--age, no medical conditions, medicated...then he said it, "Weight requirement is no more than 250.  Anyone over 250?"  I was already in the harnass.  He was in his next to me, people were in line in front of us...I was embarrassed to be honest so I was silent (meaning no, I wasn't over 250 but I was).

The whistle blew and the music started.  I took one step, reached and with all my might, I tried to pull myself up.  "Just pull up ONE level girl, you can do it," I said to myself in my head.  But I couldn't.  :o(  It was so hard.  I was too heavy and didn't have enough strength to do it.  I made up a fear of heights excuse and told the operator I was too scared and to unhook me.  I gave up.  My friend got to the top and he looked for me but I had gone back into the building.  I kept my sense of humor in front of him but when I got the chance, I went in the lady's room and cried.

That's why the first thing I want to do when I lose my weight is indoor rock climbing.  My friend did an exchange program to another country and we just lost touch.  He's since married but it sure would be nice to have a do over.  If not with him, with someone else or just for myself.  That would work fine too.

 Ever since I started this journey, my sister and my girlfriends have ALL been supportive of me.  If anyone felt that this was drastic, they never let on to me.  All I have felt is that whatever would make me happy would make them happy.  *sniff*  Words cannot explain being told that your happiness is all that matters because people feel you DESERVE to be happy.  Wow...  Now, that is love!

My girl Silki, who is not a bariatric patient, took the time to come on here and sign up which to me is another way of sharing in my process.  That makes me feel good and I don't think anyone in this world has better friends than me!  If I wanted to talk about this process all day long, they are willing to listen to me (but of course, I don't want to talk their ears off however, it is nice to know that they WANT to hear me when I need to speak about my condition).

I'd been feeling bad at the start of the New Year but the love I feel from my friends have really lifted my spirits lately and I thank God for having them in my life to share this with. :o)

So yesterday, I spoke with my nutritionist and she explained that eating would curb the nausea even if I had to go to soft foods like the yogurt, cottage cheese or sugar-free jello.  I really had about had it with those foods so I went back to the Hormel 99% fat free turkey chili which was my first solid food when my diet was advanced post-op.  I ate 1/4 cup TWICE yesterday...at my 2 week appointment when I was advanced, it took me 90 minutes to eat that amount.  Yesterday, it took me about 20 minutes both times.  PROGRESS!  And yes, it curbed the nausea.  See, I was worried that if I gave my stomach something to eat, it would do something with that nausea (make me vomit).  I got over this fear because the way I felt all weekend was just horrid.

This morning, I am drinking something I haven't had SINCE before my surgery.  Something I drank EVERY MORNING--CIB (Carnation Instant Breakfast No Sugar Added).  I drank it before to get my taste for it ready and I liked it.  After surgery, I hated it and just about alot of things that had a sweet taste.  Weird!  But my main focus HAS TO BE GETTING IN MY PROTEINS so, I went there and so far, though it's taking me forever, I'm getting this first 5oz down (1/2 of the carton).  I will drink the other half at some point later today.  Hey, I can count on 12g in.  Better than 0g which is what I have been getting for almost a week (nt good).

So, I'm getting better.  I just need that inner strength and support to get me there.

My kids totally drove me bonkers today.  As uncomfortable as I have been feeling, it's like they think my watching TV, talking or laughing is an indicator of "Ma's fine" but it's not.  If it were summer vacation and they didn't have school, I'd have them go somewhere so I can be home alone and recover.  If it means getting my own water, etc. just to have the peace I need, I'd rather be by myself.  They are all 14+ so I should be able to expect them to continue letting me recover.  Hmph!

I just gave out Christmas money (which I didn't have for being out sick and unable to work my usual 8 hour/week overtime) and a week later, I am being asked for more money!  It's like, they are old enough to give me a break and I am just pissed that they are being selfish.

Too bad I couldn't take 8 weeks off because I honestly think two months in a resort is what all gastric bypass patients need to recover.  Being home with family and getting back to work where everyone wants to conduct themselves like you are your normal self is just not working for me right now. :o(

I don't feel good at all...  Actually, I just finished crying because some moments, I just wish I never did this to myself at all but I wouldn't trade my weight loss for anything in the world, not even a reversal of surgery (which I am not THAT depressed to be feeling).

I just don't feel good on my insides for anything.  I'm always nauseous.  Eating food is non-existant...all I do is drink water.  My energy level is SO LOW because I'm not eating and that is frustrating.  Who would have thought to be young, thinner yet still move like an overweight or elderly person???

I called my doctor's office thinking I had a leak because the cold water I drank seemed to have pooled up on my left side when I lied down to nap.  He said if I had a leak, I'd be in excruciating pain and I am not so my thinking is this:  unless I am in excruciating pain, having a fever and/or diarrhea, then I need to just be happy I'm losing weight and not concern myself with "weird" feelings???  WTH?

I don't mean to sound angry or frustrated or any of those things because at the root of all that, I am NONE of those things but I hear from a lot of patients that going through these kinds of emotions are normal and BABY, I am feeling them from one moment to the next.  But in the back of my mind, it is all worth it.  It's just hard getting through the beginning.  Let's not forget.  This is ONLY the end of my third week so...I'm going to go through a lot probably.  Tomorrow, I may wake up feeling better and not even understand why I was feeling this bad today.  I tell you, the WHOLE PROCESS is unreal but very real everytime I look in the mirror and recognize someone from my past (my thinner self) that I have missed for over 10 years now. :o)

12:51pm
I'm back at work for the second week after surgery and will most likely be leaving early for a few reasons: 1) I can't stand but 4 - 5 hours post-op anyway sitting at my desk, 2) my daughter just called and needs me to go to her doctor's appointment with her, and 3) someone broke into my car Christmas Eve to steal my mom's gift (DVD/VCR combo player) and even though glass is covered through my auto insurance, the technicians came on my job to fix it but I can't let the window up or down because the break-in damaged the piece that allows movement.  The technicians aren't responsible for fixing that and referred me to the dealership.  Plus, I need to go to the bank.  I don't know how I am going to do all this but I already know something isn't going to get done today and it's most likely my car.  I need money and my daughter has to be seen.  It's my energy level.  It's really low even though I am on "Stage 4" foods (this includes meats, beans and soft dairy).  Everything takes an exerted effort and I have to lie down alot when I feel "wiped out".  It's barely 1pm and I am feeling wiped out but my daughter needs me so...

Be back later.