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Surgeon TestimonialBobby Bhasker-Rao M.D., F.A.C.S.He's very young in appearance, but very learned and experienced. He has a very pleasing bed side manner, and is easy to talk to. He is very thorough, and offers a wide array of resources to insure that his patients have every opportunity available to stay on task, and be successful. He cares deeply about his patients and even gave us his cell phone number at the Pre-Op appointment. I felt extremely confident knowing that I would be in his caring and capable hands :)rnrnI am a week out now, and my surgery went great and without event. He was wonderful. He spoke to my husband afterwards and let him know that everything went perfectly. He followed up with me during my stay, and when he couldn't, he had another physician check on me so that i was checked on by an M.D. at least once or sometimes twice a day. I couldn't ask for a better doctor than Dr. Bobby. Can't say enough good things about him :)
- Musical Performance - I'm a freelance photographer and like to shoot rock concerts.
- Writing - I hope to finish a book soon. I freelance write for ezines (rock concerts).
- Parenting - i have the most amazing seven year old named aidan. he's my world.
- Movies - Love to go to movies. comedies, romance, adventure, fantasy, indie...all great!
- Married - married for 8 years to my loving husband :)
- Artist/Muralist - I love to draw and paint.
- Reading - i'm an avid reader.
One Year Ago... on May 27, 2009 9:23 am
...today, around this time...I was starving, taking an emend anti-vomiting pill, and readying myself for surgery. I was amazingly calm and cavalier about it, and looking forward to the "relief" from the agony of insatiable hunger that a 10 day Pre-op liquid diet had left me. I was packing my bag; ipod? Check. Slippers? Check. I was taking a shower, and dressing into my XXL sweat pant capris and an XXL t-shirt from Torrid. I was completely, and unquestioningly READY to fix my broken life.
One year ago today a miracle happened. The shackles of my former life were broken, and I was made free. I was given a new lease. I was given hope. I was given an invaluable gift, that I will not soon take for granted. One year ago, today, I was granted clemency from a certain and pre-mature death. I was picked out the droves of obese people and deemed "saveable" and offered a chance. I'm so glad I grabbed it with both hands. I'm so glad I didn't give up and fought the good fight. I'm so glad I embarked on this journey. I'm so grateful and thankful for it all.
May 27, 2008
Height: 5'8 Weight: (after pre-op liquid diet and a lot of exercise) 270 lbs. BMI: 41 Morbidly Obese
*Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea
*Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/ Infertility
*Chronic Back/Ankle/Joint pain
*Hated Shopping, Could never find clothes that fit.
*Hated eating out, Could never find a booth/chair that fit. Hated stares.
*Hated going to the movies, chairs uncomfortable
*Hated feeling self conscious during intimacy
*Hated the feeling that she'd be denied a ride on rides at amusement parks. Struggled with seat belts and harnesses.
*Hated riding in the back of cars or on benches where people would struggle to "make room" for me.
*Was never asked out or checked out (I know I'm married, but ain't it nice to be asked?)
*Couldn't perform any physically exerting tasks without extreme difficulty.
*Couldn't run after my son. Play. Or other such fun and jubilant activities.
May 27, 2009
Height: Still 5'8 Weight:153 lbs BMI: 23 NORMAL weight (God that feels good)
*Insulin Resistance- GONE
*Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea- GONE
*Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome/ Infertility ??? (Not sure. Not trying to have babies)
*Chronic Back/Ankle/Joint pain- Mostly GONE
*Rashes- mostly GONE
*LOVE Shopping, ALWAYS find clothes that fit (Except at Lane Bryant and Torrid :) ).
*LOVE eating out (making healthy choices), CAN always find a booth/chair that fit. LOVE the stares ;) .
*LOVE going to the movies, chairs are very comfortable
*LOVE feeling self ASSURED during intimacy
*LOVE the feeling of the wind in my hair on rides at amusement parks. Struggle with seat belts and harnesses because they're too big.
*LOVE riding in the back of cars or on benches where people laugh at having to "make room" for me because I'm "small".
*AM always asked out or checked out (I know I'm married, but ain't it nice to be asked?)
*CAN perform any physically exerting tasks without extreme difficulty.
*CAN run after my son. Play. Or other such fun and jubilant activities.
In one fell swoop, my life changed forever. Everything I couldn't do/enjoy before, I do now with such zeal that the only regret I have is that I couldn't do it sooner. I regret having spent so much of my life in the shadows, bound an imprisoned, completely oblivious to a world I was missing out on.
One year ago today, I promised myself that I'd never allow this to happen to me again. And a year later, I am still, determined as ever, set on keeping this promise.
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Well here we are Old Girl... on March 30, 2009 11:23 am
Sittin' on The Losers Bench!
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Today I weighed myself and imagine my shock when the scale read 159.5. This is surreal. When my surgeon first told me that because I was 5'8 I should weigh 160 lbs, my initial reaction was "Are you kidding?!" In my mind there was no possible way, surgery be damned that I could ever weigh that much...or little, however you want to look at it. It was like he placed a can of aquanet, some chewing gum, and tube of lipstick in my hands and said, "build me a time machine!". It was NOT possible. I weighed 289 lbs! How could he think I could do this?
Obviously he had more faith in me at that moment, than I did in myself. I think if anything I've learned from this is that there is absolutely NOTHING I can't do. I feel so free. For years I didn't even realize what a prison I'd been in. Chained and bounded to this life that was not meant for me by my weight. I feel so liberated, free, and happy. I feel like for once the true "Angel" can be herself without fear of reprisals in the form of jabs and insults at my body. I can speak my mind, I can order in a restaurant, I can walk into any clothing store, I can buy a bathing suit, I can sit anywhere I want, I can go to the movies, I can ride roller coasters. I CAN DO ANYTHING. What people take for granted day in and day out, was just a day dream to me before. All I've ever wanted, was to be normal. Today, that wish in all it's entirety, has finally come true.
Thank you. Thank you God. Thank you Dr. Bobby and staff. Thank you Marsha Yousef and Support group family. Thank you OH family. Thank you crappy insurance company that FINALLY gave me this shot at a new life. Thank you husband. Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you little brother. Thank you WHOLE family. Thank you friends. Thank you co-workers. You all believed in me, when I couldn't. You all picked me up, when I couldn't. You all loved me, when I couldn't.
Bless You All <3
My Size 12 Jeans... on January 8, 2009 3:21 pm
are falling off of me now. OMG. I'm inching towards a 10. This is surreal. You'd think that there would be not one thing bad about this milestone. But there is. Well...maybe not BAD, but kind of sad really. You see...once I can't wear a size 12 anymore, that means I can't shop at Torrid or Lane Bryant anymore. I know it may sound crazy, but perhaps some of you can relate. I can't help feel but a painful pang at saying good bye to these places. When these stores finally came about it was like a godsend. There was finally a place I could shop for cute clothes, made explicitly for people like me. Living in a world where every store says "We don't carry your size, because people like you are already ugly. Why would you even TRY to look good?" was a very sad thing. To finally find a store where I FIT? Was a revelation for me. These are places where I feel comfortable shopping, going into fitting rooms, and just browsing. To now have to let that go and say goodbye is really hard for me. It's like getting on the school bus for the first time and waving good bye to your mother. It's scary and unfamiliar.
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Now I go into places like Forever 21, Wet Seal, Charlotte Russe, and WIndsor and I feel like the fat girl there. I maybe a size medium, but it isn't necessarily a "happy" medium (if you'll pardon the pun). I am so thankful, and generally....elated at my results and how good I look and feel, but they weren't kidding when they said "you trade in one set of problems for a whole NEW set." I guess my point is...not all that glitters is gold. Everywhere I go people are complimenting on my success and marveling and saying "You must feel so good!" But I liked myself before too. It almost makes me feel like saying "so before, when I was fat, I was a monster unworthy of love?". I know they don't mean it that way but I still can't help but feel that. It's difficult.
So taking stock today. Last year during this time, I was 288 lbs and a size 22/24. Today I'm 176 and a size 11-12. Wow. Yay me. I just hope I can come to grips with all this attention and change. I know once the novelty wears off and people stop gawking and screaming when they see me, once everyone I know has seen the new me, and accepts it as the permanent me...maybe then it'll be easier. And eventually maybe I'll get used to the idea of only shopping at Lane Bryant and Torrid now, the way I used shop at Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, WIndsor, and Wet Seal- For the accessories :)
I DID IT! I'M IN THE CENTURY CLUB! on November 18, 2008 9:47 am
I've lost 100 lbs! Whoo hooooo! I never thought I'd be able to:
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-Walk on a treadmill and do a mile and a half in 30 minutes without collapsing in exhaustion
-Wear a pair of Large/Medium scrubs.
-Buy clothes off the rack in ANY store
-Put on a pair of size 16 jeans
-Wear anything with the word "Junior" in it.
-Out run my 7 year old son at the park
-Get on rides at amusment parks without fear of embarrassing weight related issues. Like seat belts and weight restrictions.
-Fit COMFORTABLY in a restaurant booth
-Reconnect with old friends and see their jaws drop when they see me. In a GOOD way.
-Get hit on in grocery stores, department stores, movie theaters, gas stations...everywhere! (My husband's not too thrilled about that one LOL)
-Go to rock concerts and feel just as pretty as the other girls there.
-Feel like a NORMAL person for the first time in my life :)
I feel so blessed. I am so happy to have been given this second chance at life at such a young age. I feel like I can do absolutely anything. It feels wonderful.
Walk From Obesity on September 15, 2008 2:31 pm
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On Saturday 9/27/08 I will be walking in the Walk From Obesity Walkathon at The Wellness Park in Palm Springs. To date I've lost a total of 73 lbs! I feel fatastic and am extremely excited about this opportunity to give to a cause that once plagued my life.
Obesity affects 65% of all Americans they say. Well I say it affects 100% of us. Because those of us who are not obese, either know someone or are related to someone who is.
It infuriates me that people in general will discredit obesity as a real disease and say "Oh..fat people are just lazy. They just need to get on a bicycle and stop eating" and yet someone with bulimia or anorexia is looked upon as a stricken victim of a serious life threatening disorder. This double standard of weight related health needs to stop and more needs to be done to save our obese children. Donating to this cause will raise money and awareness to a crippling and debilitating affliction that has affected us all.
If you are in the area and would like to walk, you can register here:
If you would like to sponsor me as a walker (pretty please *bats eyelashes*) you can do so via credit card here:
I'm $25 from my goal so dig in your pockets and lets help some people!!
My Story 5/12/2008
My name is Angel and I'm 26 years old. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. Most of my family is also overweight. Despite the fact that I had what my parents thought was a generally healthy diet growing up and was active in water polo and the swim team, i was always heavy. This has always been chalked up to "bad genetics" and while this is true, I also discovered as a teen that I suffered from Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which is a disease that leads to obesity and/or is caused by obesity.
At the time I got married I weighed 240lbs at 5'8. When I became pregnant, against all odds, with my "miracle baby" I was elated. I was also very very sick. I lost forty lbs in the first trimester and was as thin as I was in highschool at 3 months pregnant. I gained 22 lbs back by the time I had delivered, and upon delivery lost it all. I was very happy and hoped that it would last but it did not. I began taking contraceptives to bar the chance of a subsequent pregnancy, as my doctor believed it could end very likely in miscarriage and severe illness on my part, due to the high risk nature of my condition, and how hard my pregnancy was on me physically. After I began taking depo provera, and despite staying active with a new baby, taking daily walks and eating healthy, the weight began to creep back.
An ultrasound last year revealed huges cysts devloping all around my ovaries, labs showed that my hormones are completely abnormal, and seven years later, we still have been unable to conceive another child. I'm now 289 lbs, and am preparing myself for a surgery that I believe will ultimately save my life. Currently I suffer from debilitating ankle and back pain, obstructive sleep apnea, as well as endometriosis and PCOS. My family tree is rampant with diabetes on both sides, heart disease and cancer. I do not want to suffer the same fate. So I am taking control of the situation and doing what I feel necessary to prolong and improve the quality of my life. For the good of myself as well as my family. I want to be able to see my son graduate from college, and get married. I want to live a long and healthy life. I cannot do it without this surgery. After years of dieting, exercising, seeing a nutritionist, and personal trainer, and trying to fight this and work past my physical pain, I have come to this realization.
I began researching bariatric surgery after my best friend had hers done with Dr. Bobby Bhasker-Rao. I began actively persuing the procedure at the end of 2006. Fights with an insurance company that clearly did not understand the process of bariatric surgery have delayed me until now. A year of nutrition counselling later, and after many many obstacles, it looks like I'm finally going to have it, and the date is set for 5/27/08.
Right now I'm a ball of emotion. I'm scared and happy, nervous and excited, anxious and hesitant all at once. Change, whether good or bad is always a scary and daunting prospect no matter how prepared you think you are. But all in all, I welcome this new change with open arms, and look forward to a new life. A life without pain. A life filled with hope, A life I was always meant to live :)