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Boy oh boy...I am working my butt off with work right now.  I am going to be working 22 hours straight today...ummm...no...I did get an hour break in there...so 21 hours straight...and then I am working again tomorrow from 4 until 8 am...But Sunday I have off, and that will be my day of rest!
Found out my new client will not be moving in on the first, which really puts me in a spot for rent...but I figure I can take some stuff to the pawn shop and get enough money together for the rent.  Of course Bill tells me to just open an account at his bank and he can transfer me funds...but I really don't want to do that...I will if I can't come up with enough...but I don't want him to think that I am relying on him for money.  This is the only part about the split up that sucks...I mean I didn't have money with Ray but at least I only had to pay half...for the next little while, it is all on me...and that makes it really tough.  But I will manage...I will find a way...I always do.
I phoned the satalight company today to cancel my Star Choice, because it was still in my name..and I didn't want Ray to not make the payment...I did however make sure that they called him and set it up so he wouldn't have to be without TV for a while.  Of course, the next thing you know, he is phoning me telling me I have to go down to the insurance place and cancel my car insurance because right now, he is paying it...So I asked him to hold off until the 10th, which is my next paycheck and it should be a good one..I told him I would pay him $50 for the insurance then...he agreed to do that...thankfully...I would be screwed without insurance because I have to have my vehicle for work.  Someone called inquiring about one of the cats today too...so I gave her Ray's number, but I guess they couldn't find the stupid cat when she came over, so Ray is going to get him in the house, close the windows and call her...I hope she takes him and I am sure she will...he is a beautiful, laid back boy...and likes dogs too.
Bill is good, though skyping today was not great...we kept getting dropped calls...but I think that has something to do with the internet on his end...I hope it is better tomorrow.
Anyhow...i am at work now...and really shouldn't be on here updating my blog...so I guess I will go watch TV with the gals.
I am still loving my life...and living my dreams...ya all know, it is possible..and it is wonderful...Life is fricken awesome!!!

Well, here I am...all settled into my new house, and my new life...and it feels wonderful!!!!  Okay, being broke is not all that wonderful...but there are bigger things at stake than money...and besides I was broke with Ray too...LOL  Now I have true inner happiness...and that is priceless.  Friends in every direction are telling me I have a glow about me...and I do...I feel it too!!!  I am just so darned positive about my life, my present, my future...Hell, I am even positive about my past because had I not gone through every little thing that I had, I would not be the person I am today...and I love me...I really, really do!!!
Bill is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me...I feel like God himself has blessed me to make my dreams come true....and ya know, Bill feels that way too!  So yes, I am most definately madly in love with this man...He is moving in with me when he gets home!!  My Mom really likes him.  My son really likes him...and everyone is so happy for me.  I thought I could take this nice and slow, but really, what is the point.  The man is as honest as the day is long...and he RESPECTS me, and my values...and tells me I am so different from any woman he has ever met.  He tells me he has waited his whole life for me...and he intends to keep me!!!  I intend on keeping him too!!!!!
We already have made some plans for the future...buying property, lots of property next year, and starting to build a dream...It has been in the works for him for a few years now...and he has already discussed things with the finacial people and it is all just a matter of finding the right property...I can't believe that his vision is so similar to mine...and he is in the right frame of mind to make it happen...You know how some people say "if you believe it, it will happen"...well, that folks is the new man in my life.
We have learned to Skype, so even when he is half way around the world we are having 2 and 3 hour chats a day...and often more than just one...it is just like sitting out on the deck with him, except that I can't physically touch him...soon tho...just 17 more sleeps and he comes home!!!

Ah, soon, tomorrow...I get the keys to the new place...Thank goodness...I am so, so ready to get on with my life, without Ray...much longer in this situation and we are going to hate each other...I really don't want that...I called him a fucking prick today..and truely that is not me...but he does know how to push my buttons..and he was!!!  Of course I am pissed that I gave him the satisfaction...Oh, I just got called a fuckin' cunt!!!  how nice is that???  Touche'...Ah well...tomorrow is the beginning....today is the end...suck it up Anita!!! 
I miss my boyfriend so much...I wish he was here to hold me, to hug me and tell me it is going to be okay...Alright all...I know I am strong...and I don't need a man to tell me I am okay...I know I am...but damn...it is hard when it gets to fighting and name calling..the negativity in this house is just pouring out of his pores...and it sucks cuz I feel like I am being dragged down!
Just breathing deep...breathing deep....deep, deep breaths...Okay, feeling less tense now!!!

Well, on a personal note...I am totally, completely, thouroughly in love!  His name is Bill and he is completely different from any man I have ever been with.  He treats me like a queen...and yes, we have talked about a future together.  I wasn't expecting it, wasn't even looking for it...but here it is...the big L word...Love, love, love this man!!!!  Ray now knows I have a boyfriend, as I didn't see the point in lying about it.  Bill works in Algeria.  He is on his way to work now, and is calling me when he gets to London.  He works 31 days, and then is home for 23 days.  I know that some people couldn't live this kind of life, but I really do like it!  It is like having a honeymoon every 31 days...I was happiest in my marriage when I had a lot of me time, and it seems I will have a lot of me time in this relationship too...even if I don't feel like I want it right now, LOL!  Good lord, he isn't even back at work yet, and I can feel myself just aching for his return.  He makes me feel like such a beautiful woman...and he really makes me feel like a woman!!!  He doesn't seem to see all my body flaws...or maybe he does, but he doesn't comment on them...not at all like Ray, who throws shit in my face at every chance he gets.  He has nicknamed me Halo, because he says I light him...I glow...I suppose I do after he has made love to me.  Gosh it feels so wonderful to be wanted, loved, sexed!!!!   This is most definately going to be a long, long month!!!!  But when he comes home the next time, I will be in my own home, so we will be able to hang out there. 
Now the bomb.  Chester, one of my puppies fell down the stairs the other night.  Kyle phoned me and said that he thought Chester needed to go to the vet, so I said we would wait until the morning and take him in if he wasn't better...well, he was completely paralized by morning...so we took him into the vet.  The vet said that he needed surgery.  If we took him to Calgary he would have about a 70% chance of making it...at a cost of about $10,000.  We couldn't afford that...so the vet said that his surgeon could do it, but that he wasn't really skilled with small animals, but that the vet did have faith that Chester could have a 50% chance at about $2500 .  We opted to go with that...Chester did not survive the operation.  My house is so empty without him.  I still have the other 2 dogs, but it is apparent that they are missing him too...Minnie seems very, very depressed.  There is no barking going on around here...and there was always barking...I haven't heard one bark today and I have been home since about 1:30, with it being 7:35 now....that is just unimaginable in this house.   So, I am very, very sad...missing my boo.  Ray has been away through all of this.  He is working in Ft St John...and of course, he blames us for the accident.  He asked Kyle if he dropped Chester...and then told him that I was a cold bitch, because I was at Bill's, and he asked me if I was at my b/f's house....maybe he expected me to lie...I didn't.