Today I sit here angry at myself because I've gain weight. When I was sick and couldn't eat I lost down to 263 and then I began to feel better and started eating again. Yes, I gained about 13 lbs in a week but I caught it early enough during the week to control the danger. My surgeon said it was mostly fluids from my surgery and me not exercising like I could prior to surgery. Now today is one month post-op for me for that procedure. I went swimming today for an hour and a half and felt great. I wore a one piece swim suit a size 18. I haven't been in a size 18 since college for real. There's hope that I might make it to a size 14 like I was in high school. Each day I keep praying that looking good will taste better than food. I wish I could say I have control over my eating habits but I don't. I'm still an emotional eater. I eat all the time: bored, happy, sad, or simply because I can. I will say this though my choices have gotten better. Also, I dumped again today for the first time in a long time. I guess I still dump on fats. I have a nacho salad and I won't have that ever again. The pain of dumping ain't nothing nice. I have received some good news as well yesterday. I need 10,380 for my tummy tuck and lower body lift that I'm planning to have done in June. Well I received $4000 in the mail to cover some of it. Thank U God for blessing with me. I know U will provide the other $6000 as well. Now some people keep saying to wait for my plastic surgery. However, I don't understand why. I've lost 200 lbs so far and reality of it is I probably won't lose too much more. My surgeon believes I may lose another 20 to 30 lbs before September. I'll accept getting to 250 or below and then when I have this extra skin removed that will be another 30 lbs. That's awesome! Plus I will have the entire summer to heal. New things that have come into my life is running with my kids. Now my son has to step up his running because I got him beat on his jog. My girls are picking me out new clothes and it feels good to be able to buy clothes at Wal Mart. I said Wal Mart because I'm there at least three times a week if not more. My mom tells me I can noww buy clothes anywhere. A friend of mine's gave me a top size 14/16 and I can wear it. My stomach is too big and prevents me from wearing smaller size pants because I have to cover it. Today I raised/held my stomach to see what I might look like without my extra stomach. Also, the swimsuit held it up pretty good this morning. I will be able to see the flapping parts of my inner thighs. But the lower body lift supposed to make that better as well. Just think in two more months I won't have a pee-a-bo anymore!!!