ObesityHelp

OK, wanted to blog again today.  I got an email from a friend who read yesterday's post and I realized that I am giving off only negatives about my surgery.  So sorry!  Let me correct this impression now that that couldn't be further from the truth.  I am very happy I had this surgery AND I am seeing results.  Do I have bad days and some issues with dense protein (primarily chicken)?  You betcha!  But I have no reason to believe I am developing a stricture or anything like that.  I'm still learning to eat slowly and carefully.  It's a process.  We can read and understand the rules all we want but they then have to applied to real life.  Just like anything else new, this is just harder for some of us than others.  I'm not really hungry still.  Occasionally I think I am but it's not the old hunger sensation by any means.  If I didn't have myself on a scheduled eating plan I could (and have) forgotten to eat.  It's hard for me still at 9 weeks to determine if I am full or not.  I do best with weighing and measuring my portions.  I continue to journal my food and vitamin regimen daily.  

I love that this website allows us to share our experiences with our friends and to all learn from each other but I want to emphasize that I am just an ordinary person blogging my personal feelings and experiences; my venting mechanism as well when things are not all sunshine and roses.  Better to put my anger and frustrations on a blog than on to my hubby or kids, eh?  Anyway, this type of release works for me.  I just want to say to my friends or anyone who reads my blogs that MY experience isn't going to be YOUR experience and certainly should not influence you away from your surgery.  We are all different folks with different medical conditions before and sometimes after our surgeries.  Some of us are older and some are younger.  Our ages have a big influence on how we feel and recuperate.  I am nearly 48 and I've had more years of morbid obesity doing damage to my body therefore it seems reasonable that it will take me a little longer to bounce back from surgery and reach my various weight loss surgery goals.  I accept that because I'm a pragmatist.  We will have similarities here and there but none of us will experience exactly what another person does.  So, I ask everyone to take what you read in my posts with a grain of salt.  Use what bits you agree with or can confirm with your medical professionals that will HELP you in your own weight loss journey.  NEVER compare your success (or failure) to another's.  You are just setting yourself up for unnecessary heartache when you see someone else has lost a few pounds more than you.  We've all beaten ourselves up enough in our struggles before surgery.  It wasn't a successful method to weight loss then and it won't be now either.  I value both the good and 'bad' parts of post-surgical life.  Together they are making a new, improved me.  This tool is helpful but I am still in charge of losing the weight through diet and exercise.  The tool works fairly easily for approximately 18 months, after then it's business as before.  Hopefully I will be at goal and have my lifestyle changes firmly in place to keep me healthy for years to come. 

Here are the positives I am enjoying since surgery: 

No high blood pressure, cholesterol or triglycerides.  No diabetes.  No edema.  I don't lose breath climbing a flight of stairs.  My "wide" shoes are all too big.  Down TWO sizes in pants/jeans and at least 2 sizes in tops.  And a mini wow moment is my wedding ring isn't embedded in my ring finger anymore.  As a matter of fact, I had been wearing my hubby's band in lieu of my own (because his had become too small for him but it fit me).  Just this past week I dug out my old band and it fit.  I haven't worn my own band in almost 7 years and defnitely not comfortably.  Had to use soap to get it off when I did remove it and lotion to get it back on.  Not anymore!  Oh, and all those vitamins we take?  I've always had weak, thin fingernails.  OMG....for the first time since prenatal vite days, I have beautiful nails again.  And when one does break, it's not very long before its grown out again.  That's just so foreign to me.

Weight as of this morning:

Highest weight:   297
Pre-Liquid Diet weight:  287
Day after surgery:   281
Current weight:   243
Lost since surgery:  38 lbs
Total loss to date:  54 lbs

I don't know where to really start counting weight loss so take your pick.  Of course I like the biggest number (lost) the best!

OK, I'm so aggravated with food right now.  Dammit!  Chicken is such a fair weather friend.  And I'm a little perturbed with the hubby this morning too for stating his desire for me to find a recipe for all things....chicken.  Ggrrr.  This after he watched, okay make that "heard", me be sick on chicken last night.  He is so distressed for me every time this happens.  It was KFC to be exact.  Which I skinned, weighed, chewed thoroughly and ate slowly.  Didn't get that stuck or too full sensation at all.  Just started feeling sick about 5-10 minutes after I'd quit eating.  Had nothing else to eat with it either; concentrated on my protein, the chicken meat only.  Had like maybe 2 oz.  Had intended on going for 3 oz. but felt satisfied and so stopped before I took one bite too many.  A cause of previous regurgitations.  Yes, that's plural.  This is happening to me about 1-2 a week.  Usually with chicken, sometimes with fish.  There is no rhyme or reason to it either.  How it's prepared, etc.  If anything, I've tolerated fried catfish and fried chicken better than the baked/grilled versions.  And yes, I've had the skin on the chicken at times.  Anyone reading this is probably thinking that's a poor food choice but my surgeon is of the all-things-in-moderation mindset.  And I agree.  This surgery was not about depriving oneself of every food labeled "bad".  It's about knowing proper portion, getting exercise and just living your life for crying out loud.  No one will do well for long under a cloud of shall not, cannot, and don't.  Not me anyway.  I rebel. 

OK, that's my little vent.  Back to housecleaning and laundry cause the buzzer has gone off.  And to contemplate what's for lunch today besides chicken.  

Wow, how has 2 months gone by since surgery already?  I can hardly believe it except that I am seeing some results.  Someone is stretching my clothes and they just don't fit right anymore.  LOL. 

The eating adventures continue.  Had delicious roasted herb chicken night before last; one of my healthy favs.  Went down fine the first time around, but yet again a no go the following night (last night).  Maybe it was too dry, I dunno.  This meat thing is really driving me crazy.  My head and tastebuds say give it another go, and I do, but I usually end up tossing it.  I cannot eat any slower or chew beyond liquid.  I measure and weigh everything so I know I am not overeating.  There's simply something I'm missing here and it is frustrating me no end.  I can eat turkey jerky for heaven sakes.  You can't get drier than that and yet it doesn't make me sick at all.  Sigh.  I waited about an hour for my disturbed pouch to settle down and then had a protein shake to make up my protein and nutrients.  Dear Lord, I just want to eat a regular, chewed meal and not lose it.  I do not want to live on refried beans, cottage cheese, purees and soups the rest of my life.  I am so ready for Miss Pissy Pouch to get it together!   

Had my 8 week post op check up today.  Due to a vacation for Dr. Kim they had to schedule it one week early.  OK by me.  Everything is great, I have no serious issues.  And the drum roll please.......32 lbs down in 7 weeks.  Yay me!  Did I wish it were more?  Of course.  Am I going to get frantic over it?  Absolutely not.  The last time I lost on my own was 30 lbs.  It took me 3 months of painful starvation and strenuous exercise to get that off.  And it came right back on as soon as I stopped counting every calorie that went into my mouth.  So yes, yay me.  I feel better, my BP is phenomenal once again. 

Dr. Kim wasn't even there (delayed in surgery) so I saw the NUT who is also his PA.  This was fine by me as I really wanted to see the NUT anyway.  LOL.  I love ya Dr. Kim but I know you'd really prefer to delegate the simple food related questions I had to your assistant.  I discussed the meat issues which I already knew were common for us early out patients, and what he would say, and he did.  Eat slower, take smaller bites.  He reviewed my food journal and commended me on a good job with my eating plan and supplements.  He cautioned for me to keep my calories in check; around 400-500 for now based on the portions I am eating.  My supplements will prevent deficiencies per him.  I did get corrected on my understanding about iron though.  I am menopausal so I thought I wouldn't need additional iron to that what is already in my multis.  Apparently that is wrong.  He said I still need it because of the malabsorption.  He also said if I didn't  take iron my hair would fall out.  Hmm.  Never heard that one before.  Protein, biotin, zinc....yes.  Iron?  No.  That was a new one on me.  Anyway, they gave me the list of things to check when I go to get my labs drawn.  Now I need to make an appt to get that done sometime soon.  It's not critical.  Normally, Dr. Kim has his patients do that at 3 months post op so this is really just up for peace of mind since there was confusion on my part about the iron.  They DON'T want their patients to become iron deficient, and not because of hair loss.  That's a bad thing to get folks so take your iron, "pausing" or not.   :o)

OK, that's all for now.  Youngest son had dental work done today too so I just took the day off to run criss cross over the entire DFW area (my doc on one side of the Metroplex, dentist on the other).  And grocery shopping.  And just remembered, got to get to the post office....NOW!  Bye!

OK, nice long relaxing weekend for me despite the triple digits here in Texas.  It's so freaking hot these past couple of weeks.  Yet another summer season has arrived to remind us we have to find a contractor to build us a roof structure over our currently open patio, with a misting system.  The sun gleaming down on the white concrete reflects just like water.  Do not step out the door barefoot here.  You WILL have seared soles in 1 minute or less, guaranteed.  Just ask my eldest son.  He learned the hard way the first summer after we moved here 7 years ago.

Despite the horrible heat, hubby donned his cape and poof!...became "BBQ Man".  The man is truly demented when it comes to grilling.  Plus, he should know that it's just not necessary to cook so much meat now that I've had surgery.  LOL.  Seriously, he has a large smoker that uses quite a bit of wood & charcoal so he cooks mega amounts so as to not "waste" the fire.  Starting early yesterday morning he put on two gi-normous briskets, 4 racks of baby back ribs, 4 polska kielbasa sausages and I think 2 or 3 chickens (cut up).  We're a family of four.  See why I needed WLS?  LOL.  And yes siree, it was good.  It was very good.  The smell alone is incredible.  I had 1.5 oz. of rib meat and 1.5 oz. of beef brisket.  Both melt-in-your-mouth tender.  I tried the ribs first.  Uh-oh.  Adventures in eating gone wrong again.  Went down fine.  Didn't stay fine.  Within minutes I began to feel sick.  I think it may have been too greasy.  It wasn't the stuck sensation, just a slightly nauseous feeling and lots of burping.  Always the burping with me.  I kept trying to just relax and let it go down.  Sometimes that works.  Well this was down already and it didn't like it there.  And yep, it came back.  Sigh.  Damn, it was so good tasting the first time around too.  So I just had to sit it out for a while.  About an hour later I tried a tiny bite of brisket and waited.  Yum.  Waited some more.  Everything seems OK.  Kept slowly nibbling till the whole 1.5 oz was down and all felt OK.  About 30 minutes later I had one tiny, tiny taste of baked beans (I made with Splenda Brown sugar blend....they were nommy) and a tiny, tiny taste of mustard potato salad.  I always do protein first and then 'taste test' other stuff.  And that was my one real food meal of the day.  I had to have a protein shake for supper to try to get my protein count up.  I had opted for oatmeal without added protein for breakfast, because I thought I was going to have this phenomally protein rich lunch and dinner meal later -- hah, so I had only had 8g of protein before the meat meal that stayed within.  But I am determined today will be much better.  I had my 26g protein coffee to start with and later an egg & bacon brunch.  It's lunch time now but I have zero appetite although my mind knows that brisket would be soooo tasty.  But that's why I had WLS.  I was listening to my head all the time which in turn fooled my stomach into thinking I needed to eat 2,500-3,000 calories a day.  I'm lucky if I get 500-600 calories a day now.  But that's not good either.  I have to keep plugging away to get it up higher and balanced.  This is so darn hard.  I wouldn't change anything though.  I will be stronger, healthier and smarter for it in the long run.  I don't trust my scales at home so I have refrained from posting my weight.   am trying hard not to be a slave to the scale but rather use my clothing as an indicator.  I am down one full size and close to moving down another.  I will be 7 weeks out on Monday, 07/06/09.  Never in my life have I dropped two clothing sizes in only 7 weeks.  That's just crazy.  And I love it!  LOL.  I have a check up at Dr. Kim's next week, Wednesday the 8th.  I will blog then since I will then have an accurate weight.  I'm thinking about 30 lbs since surgery.  Again, the last time I dropped significant weight it was this same exact amount....but it took me 3 months of extreme dieting and exercising to do it.  Despite these 'adventures in eating' mishaps, I am still so glad I did this.  I am beginning to see exterior changes in my face and clothing fit.