Well a little update I supose.
We went today and made the arrangements. with my oldest son making most of the final decisions we picked out a thomas the train pair of pajamis. Jaden my 11 yr old said since hes kind of sleeping it would seem right. We are sending all this little thomas trains with him too.
His casket will be white with blue satin on the inside. its a special kind where everyone can write on it. we all can write something special to him on it and it wont come off.
He will be view by family then closed for the public. My God I can hardly write this.
The first song to be played is called missing pcs by mark leland its the son in the video you all seen of him. then Untitled by Simple plane because it was on when he was dx with autism and it reminded me of him.
Then we willplay At the feet of God and Wind benieth my wings will be sang along with amazing grace..
That will all be thrusday evening.
then friday morning I will have to put my baby in the ground.
I know hes in a better place but it still hurts.
Someone emailed me and said the safest place for an autistic child is in heaven.
I was trying to rationalize why him out of all 4 kids why was it "his" time. But I think I know with everyones prayers I think I know.
He with his autism was so different. i often wondered as in school did kids make fun of my baby? How would I know? did it hurt him? I think God took his baby home so he wouldnt have to deal with the pain of this earth and the things he could not comprehend.This was he has no more autism he can say I love you all day and the words just flow for the first time ever. No he can jump with out getting hurt.
He is being cradeled in the arms of Jesus right now. Knowing that helps. It doesnt take it away but it sure helps.
On a lighter note. The missing pcs song. the man who wrote it and sings it emailed me. He told me he was honored to be a small part of kedans life with his song. he said he will forever be a part of his body and soul.
Its amazing what we as parents will do for our kids. I would give my life if i could just hold him and kiss him one more time just once more.
Next time yyour kids are being brats hug them and be thankful they are here cause I wont see my baby no more.