Hello and thank you for all the kinds words since my last post.  I have been hiding out as you could probably tell. 
A couple of months ago I dislocated my elbow and have been on leave from work.  I have never had a bone break or dislocate in my life and I didn't realize what a pain it would be, both literally and figuratively. 
In my first month off I was in too much pain to be doing much of anything.  I was so embarrased, I couldn't dress myself or bathe myself well and my mom had to come over and help me get clean.  I hated every minute of it.
My mom always knew my weight hindered my life but she didn't understand how much until I was so helpless.  She is fuelled even more to support me through my surgery goal now and as she helped me brainstorm some money-raising ideas.
This last month has been much better.  I have gotten most of my mobility back and I can do everything but lift, push, pull and carry things with the injured arm.   The worst part is that its my primary arm for writing and just about everything.
I took the opportunity this month to participate in a couple of local fairs with a cousin to sell and promote my jewelry.  It was great to meet people and really get out of my shell of depression. 
My goal now is to use all of the money I make with my hand-made jewelry (minus supply replacement) to go towards my surgery.  My goal is $4000, and if it takes a year or more I will at least be on my way.
I am working on a website where people can see all of the jewelry I have and purchase it there.  I don't know if there is something against bringing it up here or adding a link though so I will have to check the rules. 
Please feel free to give advise or comments.  This idea is still at the beginning stages so be kind. 

When my financial plans fell through for my scheduled surgery in November I tried to stay upbeat and positive but that has all but disappeared.  I have gained back all of the weight and then some that I worked so hard to lose pre-surgery and have fallen into a deep depression.  I really just don't know what to do. 
I have hopes of possibly having surgery in 2009 but I am not putting too much faith into it.  I just cannot get the money together when I can hardly make ends meet as it is and I see no change for that in the future.  There is no room to save or invest and there is little hope that anything will be different in 2009. 
I have not given myself permission to mourn.  I think I should but instead I feed my face and try to pretend that I am ok.  I am anything but ok.  I am a miserable mess and knowing that I am approved for surgery is more like a stab in the back then a blessing. 
I feel like I owe an apology to anyone reading this,  But I need to have some place that I can say anything and so here I am.  Sorry.

Me

I just got off the phone with CapitalOne.  I was denied financing for my surgery.  My portion is $3,903 and there is no way for me to get that amount without borrowing it.  I don't have great credit, being a single mom and having no help from others has made it difficult.   I am not sure what to do now except pray.  If anyone has any ideas please let me know.  Thanks.

Heather

I am not sure how the angel thing works really, but I would love to have an angel.  Can anyone explain how they work and maybe I can be one for someone else too.