- Username: BabyRuth2u
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
- Member Since: 3/9/2006
- BMI: 29.6
- Post Op
- Surgery Type: RNY (03/24/06)
- Surgeon: Pavlos Papasavas
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Surgeon TestimonialPavlos PapasavasMy first impression of Dr. Papasavas was a bit distant. He was very nice, professional, polite etc. But I did not feel immediately at ease. However my opinion did change over time. I just put it to first meetings, shyness, mine and perhaps his. But I do respect his opinion and know that he means what he says and if he asks you to do something it is because it is for your best. I've got to know him better and be much more comfortable with him over the past 8 months. He is quite friendly and seems like a fun guy. His office staff for me has always been on top of things. In my 6 months preparation for surgery during my office visits I have always been waited on in a very short time. I've had only one time after surgery that my wait was a bit long. One can't complain about that. Calls have always been returned in an appropriate time frame. The support staff is great. There is so much information and knowledge from the PA, nutritionist and they have the greatest psychologist. I have found his surgical competence and beside manner both to be great. I would recommend him to others.
- Travel - Visited Toronto CAN Oct 2006, its was GREAT!
- Cats - My husband and I have 3 adorable cats and 1 demon puppy! LOL
- Shopping - Love to shop!! Who doesn't? Really.. come on!! :)
- BMI over 50 - Starting BMI 61/62, approx. 7 months it's 37
- WLS in your 40's - Wish I could have done this many years ago!
posted on 8/22/07 7:40 pm
I made a post tonight about some feelings and thoughts I've had lately and wanted to put it here, to reflect back on in time and to share with those who view my profile with hopes to connect, to help someone else who may encounter the same things. To let you know that it can be a bumpy road, but the ride is fantastic, and to let you know this is all normal. We are all here to share our experiences. I hope it can help someone and help me along the way!! Here it is!
Recently I have felt like a fraud. By this I mean that I guess I am not the same person I was before surgery. Before surgery at 350 plus pounds at one time or another I didn't care so much about others, I wasn't responsible. For example, I didn't complete things. I didn't keep appointments, promises etc. If I made plans to do something or go somewhere and I decided, "well I just don't want to now", then I didn't! I didn't care if I left someone hanging or didn't complete something like school.
Now post-op things are so different. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it. If I make a committment to something I complete it. ie: I have this great new job that I started at as a temp back in Nov. 2006, and I love it! I go to work every day. Haven't called off a day. Pre-op, If I got up and didn't feel so well, or just didn't feel like going to work, I'd call off. I didn't care. I had a high absent rate. But now I want to go to work, I like it and if the thought comes to mind to not go, it's like a flash and I tell myself that I have responsibilities and I go no problem.
I've joined Toastmasters through introduction of a manager at work. I go, I do my assigned duties and even now have a role, am the VP of membership. Some days I think I'm so busy now in my life I don't have time for that, but I committed to it, so if nothing else I will put in my year then see what I feel like next year if I want to do it again.
I am going back to school to get my degree in Human Resources management. I want to do this and get my degree. I have lots of credits to put twoards it that I did years ago but never finished like I didn't finish most things. But i'm really excited about it and I will do it, I committed to it.
The other day I started feeling kind of bad. Feeling like I am a fraud. That this is not me. I feel like at any moment I'm going to mess this wonderful new life up and just leave everyone who counts on me hanging. I feel like they know me as a person who I am truly not. Does this make sense? Maybe I'm just having trouble accepting the new me. Or maybe this always was me, I was just so fat, I was lazy and that tood precedence.
I actually cried talking to my DH about this the other day, about feeling like a fraud. That my new friends and associates don't know me, but this stranger, who they all like and respect, admire and compliment often on my work ethics, etc.
I fear that any day I might explode and go back to the old me and disappoint them all. Leave them wondering what the hell happened to Ruth?
I thought maybe putting this out there, I could see if anyone else has felt this way. That I'm not alone, that this is kind of a normal process we go through with the changes.
It is strange because overall I feel like I am the same person I always was. I don't feel, or I should say I never felt like a fat person inside, if that makes sense. I was always just me. I look in the mirror and I see the smaller me most times now. But I always just saw me. I look at pics now and think OMG I can't believe how big I was. I didn't see it so much before. I just lived my life. That also brings to mind the worry that if I feel sort of the same, that I am just me, then what is there that is going to keep me from gaining all my weight back if I don't think I was a fat person to begin with. Does tha tmake sense? If i was just me and was living my life, then what's going to stop me from realizing I'm not the same, I am smaller. If I just go on being me, then won't I eventually just be me again? 350 lbs me?
Oh, the things we have to ponder now. LOL
I feel this is the tougher road on this journey now. The weight is almost all gone. Getting there now slowly but surely. But I have the fear of going back in the other direction. So food, exercise, dieting, making right choices is a 24/7 job. It's way more work, thought, and planning then any other "diet" I've tried to follow in my life. I live everyday, for every calorie, every movement to keep going. It makes you feel like there is no end. and I guess there's not. There is no miracle to keep me here, it does take work. I know that, but boy can it take it's toll on you mentally sometimes. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I'll work through the tough times. I love being able to walk, breath, exercise, play sports, wear nice clothes, feel healthy.
Thanks for listening! :)
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