I really don't know how much more I can take. On my 12th Anniversary I find out my husband has been having an affair for a year or more, I found out my mom has lung cancer and is going on hospice. I had a breakdown last night and just don't know how much more I can take. On the good side I am down 111 pounds and feel great physically. Mentally is another story. Please god give me the strength to get through this nightmare. I have never felt more alone, lost, sad, betrayed, mad, and confused in my life!

Well I hit my 100 lb loss a couple days ago, feels amazing. I am still struggling with exercise and am seeing lots of flab. Hair loss is in full swing and my hair was so thin to begin with! I'm ok with that as long as I know it will grow back.

Well I went to see the bariatrician for my 3 month follow up. All but 2 of my labs were normal. Prior to surgery I was pre diabetic and now my levels are normal. My B12 was high and that was due to me taking to much of it (oops) and my Ferritin was high so he is going to keep an eye on it other than that he was very pleased. He did lecture me on stepping up my exercising, he said if I don't want to exercise after 1 year that's fine but for the next 9 months I have to kick it up and get off as much as I can during this crucial time. Sooooooooo I have started my Richard Simmons again and then my Gazelle. I asked my grandson if he wanted to do Richard Simmons with me last night and he said yes, I think he was expecting a wimpy workout and it does start out slow (warm up) but when we peaked I looked over and he was sweating and huffing and puffing, it was hilarious, he did say it was a good work out. I must admit I do feel better afterwards but I HATE EXERCISING and I really don't know why. I'm hoping my mentality will change with time but I keep pushing myself. I have lost 78 lbs so far and feel fantastic! My next goal is to hit my half way point so I have 25 lbs to go. Go me!

I am so excited my BMI has gone from 59 to 48, I am a little over 2 months out and I reached my second goal of breaking the 300 pound mark, I am 298 and am loving every minute of it! I have more energy which in turn makes me want to move more. I still need to step up my excercising but at least I am moving more. I feel really bad when I watch the tv show Heavy and people that weigh more than me can kick my butt excercising. I am motivated after watching it then lose the motivation but this morning on my break I walked then when I get home I am going to do my Gazelle for 30 minutes!!! I AM GOING TO DO IT!!!

Actually a little more than 2 month's but who's counting. Not too much to report except I am enjoying clothes shopping more and more. I took a trip to Tucson last weekend and hit the thrift shops and found quite a few cute things, it doesn't make sense to buy new clothes when I am going to be losing more and more, same with kids, they outgrow clothes so fast it's dumb to buy new when you can get some nice used things. That's my speech for the day! Anyway I am enjoying the heck out of the energy I have, the changes I have seen in my body and my "skinnier" clothes I haven't seen in years fitting. I have had stuck food (chicken every time) about 3 or 4 times now and have to throw up then I feel better. I do need to step up the excercise though, I haven't been doing too good in that dept but will keep trying. I will be interested in seeing how my labs are when I go see the Dr for my 3 month check up. Still trying to get enough fluid, I do ok but could definitely do better. Just keep trying!!!