I, like many of us, tend to be very harsh with myself about how I look or how I'm 'doing.' I was leading a support group meeting this weekend and told them that I wish that we could be as compassionate and supportive of ourselves as we are with others. This afternoon as I was walking down my hallway, I saw the Norman Rockwell 'Do Unto Others as you would have them do  unto you.' While I hold steadfast that notion, I also think that we can and should turn it around, so that we are as kind, gentle, and supportive to ourselves as we are to our friends, families, neighbors, and even strangers. I think that as we are aware of the tasks at hand necessary to support our goals for good health, quality of life and appearance, we also need to be compassionate with ourselves, and give credit where credit is due.

And if'm not careful, it can also signal the beginning of the battle of the buldge. As I was doing my weekly grocery shopping, I noticed that the end-caps were full of Halloween candy beconing me. I've found that it helps me stay out of it when I buy candy that I don't like, so I stock up on licorice, gummy worms and other goodies that I could care less about. I leave the chocolate, peanut butter, and caramel stuff at the store. This allows me to have something for the neighborhood kids, but it doesn't threaten my ability to win the battle.

There are other things that get me this time of year such as the foods at the annual state fair or just the Joy of Cooking... I have always enjoyed cooking and to be honest, when I was embarking on this journey I wasn't sure what I'd do since I used to cook a lot like Paula Deen. Now I've trimmed it down and tend to follow CookingLight.com, TLC's Cook Yourself Thin, and Devin Alexander's Healthy Decadance. These have taught me how to have me proverbial 'cake and eat it too!' 

I love caramel apples and found a recipe at CookingLight that allows me to enjoy this fall delight. The nice thing is that I can only eat about 1/4 of a caramel apple, so it only costs me about 65 calories. I get to indulge and don't have to feel guilty or deprived. I also love pumpkin and tis the time of year for everything pumpkin. While I will make a freshly baked pumpkin bread., I make them up as small muffins and then gladly share them with neighbors, folks at the office, etc... If I can't get them out of the house fast enough, they go into the freezer until I can get them out. Using the muffin tins helps me maintain portion control and allows me to have my 'cake' and eat it too. One of the other guilty pleasures I used to enjoy and thought I would have to give up is my Caramel Machiato Coffees, but there again, I've found a way to enjoy one that's been trimmed down in terms of fat and carbs, yet is still full of flavor.

I think recognizing that there is a way to enjoy the foods that are meaningful to me each season, but finds ways to do so that honor my need to take care of myself longterm, is part of the reason that I've been able to maintain my weight. For me, it's not about never having anything 'forbidden,' it's about balance. This means finding ways to have those things that I enjoy and finding ways to make those things fit my life, so that 'I' can still fit into my life.

Life has been throwing me curve balls and hitting me in the head just a little too often lately. I feel like I keep falling down and each time I try to get up I slip and fall again. That's how I 'feel', but as I step back and look at it, I don't think that is the reality because even though things are very, very stressful I haven't gained a ton of weight and any other time I would have and I know that I could have.

I have decided that I need to look at one thing I apreciate about myself in each the following four categories;
- Health,
- Quality of Life,
- Appearance and
- Self.

Each day as I list the things that I appreciate about each of these areas of my life, the next thing I need to do is think about what I need to do to support those things I appreciate so that I won't lose them.